spilling my guts...
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  1. #1
    Registered User i.m.cheap's Avatar
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    Default spilling my guts...

    Forgive me, my friends, but I feel like a frugal failure......We are so over our heads in debt, I feel like I am drowning. I (we) have mad so many stupid money decisions. We are making payments on two cars (at outrageous interest rates), our home (a money pit, like the movie starring Tom Hanks and Shelly Long), a handful of credit cards, and are going under fast. I am frugal, I have to be, because after we pay our bills, there is very little to live on for food or the nessecities of life. Is that stupid, or what? We both work 40 or more hours a week, and can not even afford a haircut.

    If I can be a warning to anybody, AVOID USING CREDIT whenever possible, because you will be spending your future paying for things you don't even have anymore. I feel so stupid... we are falling behind on our house payment, and have made the decision to part with one of our cars, to relieve some of the stress, as I expect to lose my job in less than 30 days, and I have not even worked there long enough to qualify for unemployment.

    One thing that led me to the situation I find myself now was quiting my job in October, which was a decision reached very quickly and under the influence of menopause, I feel like I'm going nuts sometimes. I do take an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. (do in large part to the aforementioned job). I am certainly rambling now, but it feels kind of good to let you all know where I'm coming from.

    I would welcome any advice you all have on any of this. I can't believe I ever got so messed up.

    Deb

  2. #2
    Registered User SewCrafty's Avatar
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    Deb

    I don't have any advice, but I know these wonderful ladies here can probably help you.

    Keep your chin up and lean on us whenever you need to.
    ~~ Dee ~~
    8 Years Cancer FREE!
    25 July 2003



    Married to my sweetie, Jack 25 yrs.

    Mama to 27 furbaby 'Katz' (as my hubby calls them LOL)
    Nicky, Snowy, Olga, Ralphie, Sidney, Oliver, Fonz, Audra, Hoss, Peanut, Madeline, Tigger, Alice, Poppy,Teddy Bear, Mittens, Conan, Sherman, Trapper, Radar, Maxie, Annie, Rocky, Kali (AKA P.I.T.A), Jethro, Chewy Lewy, and Chance!

    Don't forget to do self examinations monthly and have regular mammograms!

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Darlene's Avatar
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    aww Deb, big hug! hugz:Some of the other ladies can probably stear you in the right direction to figure out what to do next, I'm just here to say that you can fix this. Stop any extra spending now. You can get this under control & live OK. You just need to change your priorities.
    This probably sounds goofy but whenever me & mine have had to do something we probably wished we didn't, we thougth of it as an adventure.Cutting corners doesn't mean deprivation what so ever.
    You never know(but can figure out, with a little help from your friends) what creative things you can do to get you by, but you ALWAYS find a way. It's gonna be OK. Really.

  4. #4
    Registered User Missy's Avatar
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    I have been there. I am still there now. I have even been to court over this (recently ) But one this I did to (in my best court tv voice) "midigate damages" ws to get in with a debt councelling agency. Like the ones seen on tv. Now I cannot say they are all honest and that all companies will work for everyone. The company we are with is working out great. (In fact our second credit card to be paid off will be next month ) We have 10 or so credit cards there with them. And more will be paid off soon by dealing with them. It is working great for us. There are some of these companies with local chapters that you can even visit, check out the yellow pages under "Credit Counelling" That is the only advice I have. Otherwise I have tons of for you.

  5. #5
    Master Dollar Stretcher
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    I think you have already ataken a step inthe right direction by seeing that you are in over your head and seeking out help. Selling one of the cars is a great step and getting some financial counseling like Melissa suggested could be just what need right now to help you dig out. Also, if the house is a money pit, could you sell it and find something cheaper?

  6. #6
    Registered User i.m.cheap's Avatar
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    Well, we bought our house a little over two years ago, with the help of a down payment "assistance" program, we put no money down, and even financed the closing costs. We live in a very modest home, built in 1955, with 3 small bedrooms and one bathroom, and a one car garage. With all the aircraft mmanufacturing jobs that have been lost in this city, especially where our home is, homes are being repossessed right and left, so we would have to ask at least $10,000 more for our home than similar homes in the neighborhood are selling for right now. We have no equity due to no down payment and falling home prices. The second car became a nessescity after we bought this home also, because before we purchased the house, we lived in an apartment across the street from DH's job. I would sell the house in a minute if we could just get the pay-off. We have put about $4,000 into home repairs in 2003 alone. And we need a new roof and a new sewer line this year.

    The American Dream has become a nightmare for me. As far as the credit card debt, much of that ($7,500) can be attributed to buying the home,we had to have a stove and a refrigerator, a washer and dryer, sixteen windows to be covered, a fence to put up, etc.

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  8. #8
    Registered User i.m.cheap's Avatar
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    I think I will go to the Consumer Credit Counseling Service. I bit of advise to everyone out there, a small apartment and no debt is a lot better than a (still small) house and a mountain of debt. Save up for a down payment if you want to be a home owner! Ten percent plus closing costs is good, twenty percent is better.

    Deb

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    Registered User i.m.cheap's Avatar
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    Oh yes, don't forget about maintenance costs, especially with an older home.

  10. #10
    Registered User Shell's Avatar
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    Be strong. We are all here for you. I know you can make it.

  11. #11
    Registered User Shell's Avatar
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    Just to let you know, under "homespun frugal tips and challenges" we are doing a credit card challenge. Everyone there is working hard at paying off their credit cards. I almost have one paid off now. It is a good feeling to get it under control!

  12. #12
    Master Dollar Stretcher aka DixieBob Dixie's Avatar
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    to you! I would also suggest CCCS (Consumer Credit Counseling Service) They are *non-profit* which imo, is very important. You have a good head on your shoulders, so I am sure you will work this all out.

  13. #13
    Master Dollar Stretcher aka LaciBob lucy979's Avatar
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    Hang in there!

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    Registered User heavensent_7's Avatar
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    I don't know how your money system works but you CAN do this.

    I just sold TWO big BMW's and bought ONE small Astra with all the money, it's small and rattley and I LOVE it! Every time I get in that car I think of how much money it's saving us.

    I'm saving to buy a trailer to keep our trailer tent on (that saves us loads on holidays) but then I can get rid of the garage we keep it in that costs us LOADS every month.

    I don't use credit cards at all.

    The list goes on and on - take a look at your money leaks and find a solution for them one by one. Can you contact people and offer to pay a lesser ammount?

    You CAN do it - I'm thinking of you.

  15. #15
    Moderator aka AmyBob AmyBoz's Avatar
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