Why do you think it is that material items have become ...

**mommy2many** · 03-01-2005, 09:30 AM

People's EVERYTHING. It seems to me that it wasn't too long ago when people would have been more than happy to get a handmade card or a cake made with love as a gift. Now if my children make their own Valetines to school or we bake cupcakes instead of getting the fancy ones fromt he store for birthdays then people look down on us. We're not poor we just prefer to live within our means. When did this start happening and why? Why are we espected to spend $50 on a child's birthday gift when we all kow darn well they won't even play with it more than twice, I'd rather give them a good book that cost $4 at least then I know they get something out of it.

I have been told I am old-fashioned. Well we still have modern things and clothes, we just save up for them and then purchase them. My Dh just bought a motorcycle it wasn't cheap but we planned for it.

When this country become so "give me" instead of "earn me"?

Just something I was thinking about today.

**mrscornbread** · 03-01-2005, 09:33 AM

I am an old-fashioned gorl too. i so prefer the handamde items that someone had to put some time thinking of me into!

I guess we can just do our best to instill those old-fashioned values into our children by sticking to it.

**sunshine** · 03-01-2005, 09:41 AM

I don't see this in the people around here as much ( a few, but they are the ones scorned). We live in a farming community.

I do see this at work though--- and I'm always amazed. I'll take in a homemade dish and they all laugh and ask if I've seen the ones at the grocery. I respond that "yes I have-- have you seen the preservatives, artificial ingredients, etc, that they add to that?" That will generally shut up most of my coworkers.

**Early Bird** · 03-01-2005, 10:24 AM

Around here we have an extremely high cost of housing, so most families have both parents working.

[By high-cost, I mean $130/sq ft for a 30-yr-old house is consdidered cheap (That's we we got ours for)! When we were house-hunting, we saw one older house for $185/sq foot! Considering that we spent under $50/sq foot for the same age/condition house in the midwest, I think it's EXHORBITANT here! New construction is around $200/sq ft, I think.]

Anyway, with the high cost of housing and both parents working, HOMEMADE becomes highly-respected.

Once I brough Betty Crocker brownies to some scout function -- and was complimented on my homemade contribution. "It's just a box mix," I said. "That counts!" the other mom told me.

I think the things that are valued in a community are the things that are SCARCE. If money is scarce, then store-bought goods (no matter how cheaply made) have value in the consumer's eyes. If time is scarce, homemade gets the credit.

**pip** · 03-01-2005, 10:54 AM

It is sickening to see this. We're not allowed to bring homemade treats into the public school, so that does limit us. But, I've always thought that a child's birthday gift shouldn't cost more than $10 and around here, it's not unusual to see people spending up to $50 on a classmate's gift. I have stuck to the $10 idea, though, and we frequently wrap the gift in the Sunday funnies and my kids will make a homemade card on the computer. I hope that my kids don't feel shunned, I don't think that they do, anyway.

**mommy2many** · 03-01-2005, 11:18 AM

Originally posted by pip
It is sickening to see this. We're not allowed to bring homemade treats into the public school, so that does limit us. But, I've always thought that a child's birthday gift shouldn't cost more than $10 and around here, it's not unusual to see people spending up to $50 on a classmate's gift. I have stuck to the $10 idea, though, and we frequently wrap the gift in the Sunday funnies and my kids will make a homemade card on the computer. I hope that my kids don't feel shunned, I don't think that they do, anyway.

Why can't you bring in homemade treats? Just curious?

**thrifty gal** · 03-01-2005, 11:52 AM

I have noticed this, as well. All around me I see people who are consumed with things. Dh's parents are some of the worst. They are always talking about what they have, and what they are going to get, It irritates me to death.

**kestrel91316** · 03-01-2005, 12:01 PM

Rich folks (I am especially reminded of the Roaring Twenties) used to delight in the crassest displays of their wealth in order to show how much richer and better than others they were. Somewhere along the line, not-so-rich folks have seemed to jump onto that bandwagon, much to their detriment. If you buy goodies at the store, it shows that you have so much money you can afford to waste it in that way. If you drive around the biggest, most expensive SUV you can find, it shows that you have that much more money to waste. It is a form of bragging or self-aggrandisement.

I think I will keep driving my 17-yr-old Honda, and wearing my old pilled-up cardigan sweater. I happen to think a fool and his money are soon parted, and the sooner some of them get parted from it, the better for all of us. But showing off one's money has the effect of causing some other folks to think less of themselves.

Oh, and those store-bought goodies don't taste NEARLY as good as homemade.

Back down off my soapbox now...............

**AmyBoz** · 03-01-2005, 12:34 PM

I don't know if the rules are the same there, but here, they discourage homemade treats because there is no ingredients list and so many kids have food allergies today.

Originally posted by mommy2many
Why can't you bring in homemade treats? Just curious?

**pip** · 03-01-2005, 01:00 PM

It might be a food allergy thing, too, but I think it's a public health issue. They think it's more sanitary if the food has been commercially prepared, or at least less of a risk of it being prepared in an unsanitary way. It's a rule, anyway.

**oreo** · 03-01-2005, 01:02 PM

I think the answere lies in history. Store bought items used to be a treat "way back when" the average family had little to no "surplus" income. A store bought item held value b/c it ment you weren't destitute, that you could take a break from making it yourself/doing it yourself, and that life was a little easier. Post war economic booms led to this new buying power and we became used to consumption. It was like a way of celebrating the turn in economics. I don't think consumer consumption is the same today, but that is where I think it started. I do feel there is a shift back to making things/ doing it yourself. I see more diy magazines, books, programs etc. Also there is a boom in crafting (wow! look at knittings new found popularity!). I have friends that are envious I can stay home with my kids. I tell them its all about choices. I don't go on cruises every year, I don't have a car payment, no boats, motorcycles etc. Ya'll know this part. None of them seem critical or look at me as if I am lacking. I do live in a very affluent area, yet no one looks down on me (that I know of). I think people are wiseing up. Credit is so easy to get, you no longer have to make a lot of money to buy, so it doesn't mean as much. I saw a loaded escalade truck (with glowing dvd player inside). The driver got out in his leather coat talking on his cell phone (head micro phone thingy) and my first thought was how "materialistic" he looked. Then I thought, he is probably maxed out on his credit. I didn't see anything to be envious of! This post is not ment to imply that if you have a recreational toy, go on cruises etc. you are materialistic

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**DaisyLady** · 03-01-2005, 02:13 PM

This is a great thread!!

It's funny that when I see a family (in particular) all decked out in those fanciest gear, latest technology, big house, dual income, expensive holidays...I feel pity FOR THEM! I think I am blessed that I can stay home and give my family and friends time, love and care. Now I am sure some of these people would look at me and say "if she got a job, she could wear nice clothes, drive a better car, or whatever". I guess it is all in one's individual perspective.

**TanyaMT** · 03-01-2005, 02:21 PM

We live in a very expensive area too (Southern California), where more than 70% of our income goes towards our house currently. Despite that, I was able to leave FT work to PT this year and be with our toddler, by cutting back driving older (paid off) cars, making things, etc. And I see many others here doing that. Not all certainly but more and more are choosing it. And many others are choosing to buy Hummers and spend their lives at the mall. Each of us has a choice in life.

I have never had homemade food turned down though, and people here see it as a treat rather than grocery store stuff thank goodness. I'm sorry to hear some of you have had that.

Coming from having a child who is peanut allergic though, I do understand the homemade and allergens thing I admit, but I just brave it for most things homemade and ask. Unless they use peanut oil, I can usually decide based on the ingredients used.

**sixfreds** · 03-01-2005, 02:27 PM

Where I live homemade goodies (treats cards presents whatever) are highly valued and that is what ever one hopes for not store bought or expensive so maybe it is the area and the people.Maybe I just live in a poorer area where most people can't and don't want to spend the money on material things.

Eileen

**MarshHen** · 03-02-2005, 11:03 AM

As for myself, I prefer homemade anything over store bought simply because it's just to easy to run into a store or deli and grab just anything for someone. Homemade to me simply means that you thought enough about me to use your time, talent and love to bake or create something just for me. In short, your not just giving, your giving of yourself, and that in itself is worth it's weight in gold.