What the HECK??! This is so sad:(

**dhmunoz** · 03-31-2005, 02:27 PM

I posted earlier this week about an old high school boyfriend who passed away last week, leaving behind a wife and son.

My mom went to the funeral yesterday, as she lives in the same town as his parents and knows them. She said it was the strangest funeral she ever went to.

The newpaper obituary gave no reason or cause of death, except to say that he died at home. Okay, so my mom got there and sat in the back next to some ladies that she has worked with for years (both my mom and his mom work for the same school district) and she asked one lady if she knew what had happened. NOBODY knew! Nothing was mentioned at the service. My friend's wife and son were NOT there. Apparently his brother and sister both gave speeches about his life and their memories but nothing at all was said of his life recently at all.

He lived about 1200 miles from our old hometown. The obituary was printed in the hometown paper, but there was NO obituary posted in his local paper at all! I live about 200 miles from where he did, so I was checking online for an obituary because I would have run down to the store to purchase that paper--the newspaper from his metro area is widely available in my city.

My mom said that most of the family appeared quite distraught, but there were a few that were oddly 'happy-looking' (as my mom called it). No mention was made of his adult life at all. They pretty much stopped at high school, but this guy was 35 years old!

So now my mom is all freaked out wondering what the heck happened and to be honest, so am I. The whole thing sounds screwy. Are we just wacked (it's okay to be honest lol) or does this sound really "off" to anyone else?

**Dedlered** · 03-31-2005, 03:07 PM

That is odd

**dolphin** · 03-31-2005, 03:09 PM

It sounds really "off" to me too. But, sometimes things are left better unknown and it seems they are going to great extent to leave it that way.

**Telephus44** · 03-31-2005, 07:38 PM

An old high school friend of mine recently passed away, and unfortunaely I found out too late to attend her funeral, but I thought it was odd that the obituary mentioned nothing about the cause of death. She was 28 years old. My mother-in-law (a flight nurse who handles a lot of accidents) told me that if you don't hear about a cause of death, its usually something taboo - she guessed either suicide or AIDS. I can't really imagine my friend dying of either of those reasons, but, I guess that there are certain reasons a family may choose to not mention details of a family member's passing.

And yes, it does sound really odd that they wouldn't include anything about his adult life.

**PrairieRose** · 03-31-2005, 07:48 PM

Several years ago I lost a classmate and noone would say how either. I just found out in recent years that he died of aids...he died at home as well.

I hope it's not the case with your friend as well, it leaves you feeling somewhat betrayed in not knowing as much you thought you did about the person you were fond of.

**dhmunoz** · 03-31-2005, 11:05 PM

I can't imagine him having AIDS (but I guess ya never know) since he was married for a long time...but the thought that it may have been a suicide did cross my mind. I didn't even mention it to mom because she is still wigging out over the funeral

I am praying so hard that it was NOT a suicide, because for various reasons that might put ME as part of the equation which I don't want to be!! (long, long, long, story spanning about 20 years).

I am thankful that I did have contact with him before he passed, and that we were able to clear up some misunderstandings from years past.