Did you buy your childs

**bamamomto4** · 07-26-2005, 12:59 AM

first car?

Ashley will be 16 next month. I dont want to buy and hand her keys to a car. I think she should have to work for it.
DH's friend is selling his car a 1998 Honda Civic,which would be perfect for Ashley but I think she should get a job and pay for it,if she wants it. I mean,we'll buy it from the friend but Ashley would have to work and pay her INS and us for the car.I wouldn't make her pay a lot per month,but I think she'd appreciate it more if she was paying for it.

What does everyone think?

**mtjsmom** · 07-26-2005, 07:55 AM

Jessica is 17 almost 18 and i refuse to buy her a car! (she sure does try to convince me though..lol) I told her to save at least half and I will match her. And that would be her Graduation gift from us. I just think she will care for it more if she has to work and pay for it herself.

**Darlene** · 07-26-2005, 08:41 AM

We payed for ours kids when they were 17 and use the car to get to work, college & tennis practice. They helped pay for gas and insurance.
I know kids are able to get their licences at a younger age in some states but I think under 17 is too young to be cruising around on their own. You do what you & your hubby think is right & stick to your guns.

**mom22grls** · 07-26-2005, 08:48 AM

We have an extra car now that I got my minivan. We'll let our Ashleigh drive it when necessary, and with permission. We'll pay her ins & license it, but gas, she'll have to pay for.

That said....I bought my first car with my own money & neither of my sisters did. Mom & Dad let them drive their cars. Sisses didn't have *JOBS* either, but I was already moved out by then.

If my Ashleigh is going to work at a job & do all the school stuff that she currently does....well, I'm about OVER IT driving her around.

We still own the car & have all rights to revoke priveleges (sp?).

But even if she bought herself a car, I still could "ground" her.

**MandiDawn** · 07-26-2005, 08:55 AM

When I was 16, My parents bought me a used Ford LTD to drive around. They paid the first 6 months insurance, and set these rules:
1. I must get, and keep a job. (if at any time I quit, I gave car back)
2. I must pay insurance for the car (2x a year)
3. I have to take car of the car (oil change, gas money, wash it)
4. The car is not mine, it's "theirs" and they can take it away at any time (and they did sometimes!!!).
5. I could not drive out of our town, ever.

I really appriciated that they set me up like that since I couldn't get a job without a car ,and between school and sports, I couldn't make that much money anyway.
Lets face it, high school students can only work 18 hr/wk (that's law where I live), for min wage (most can't get jobs above min wage), so that's only about $80 a week.
My insurance was about 1,200/every 6 months, so if I got 18 hrs a week, and paid for gas, and insurance, I was only left with a $500 anyway, and that went towards paying for upkeep for the car (new brakes, new belts, ect) and a little spending money for myself - clothes, personal products, ect.
Maybe it's different where you live, but here you can't do anything, go anywhere without a car. Nothing within walking distance, no buses, nothing.
So how could I have grown to be a successful person if they hadn't taken that first step? Life would not have been different at 18 instead of 16, still no job, no car . . .
My friend Melissa is STILL payign her grandparents back for a car they bought her when she was 17 (she's 26 now . . .) She just pays a little here and little there, but she started out her life in debt, and it just got worse.
that's just my 2 cents. . .

**PrairieRose** · 07-26-2005, 08:57 AM

We bought our dk's cars, but not until they were seniors in h.s. . We still maintained "ownership" and let them know that since we paid for it, the insurance and most of the gas that IF they misbehaved or didn't take care of it that we would take it back or in some instances they wouldn't be able to drive it (like if they got into real trouble of some sort). In retrospect I wish we had done the "we'll match what you spend" thing. Our kids did fine with their cars but I still wish they had had to save up for at least half of it. You do what's right for your own family Tammy. That's the most important thing.

**SewCrafty** · 07-26-2005, 09:22 AM

Tammy I don't know but this is how it was for me.

My parents didn't buy me a car, but I was allowed to use the older car we had (a 9 passenger station wagon). I had to pay for my insurance and if I took the car out and it had Â½ a tank of gas in it, it better have Â½ a tank when I brought it home. My dad also had stipulations that I didn't like then but am glad I know now.

He took me out in the driveway and I had to fill all the fluids, learn how to change the oil and I had to change a tire before he would let me drive alone. Really is good to know these things.

So while my parents didn't buy me a car, I was allowed to use the family's second car if my parents didn't need it first.

You know Ash best, you do what you and Steve think is right for her.

Oh and I didn't get my licence until I had graduated hs and was 19.

**mommy2many** · 07-26-2005, 09:35 AM

My oldest is only 10 but she already knows that if she wants a car when she's 16 then she has to work for it. I won't be handing her the keys. She is already saving money for her first car

Rules here will be: You buy it, you keep it insured and you can have a car if not you'll have to beg to borrow the car

**isaacsmommy** · 07-26-2005, 10:03 AM

Not sure if this will help, but here's how things worked for me:

My parents bought me a car when I was 16 (they did NOT do this for either of my older sisters - spoiled youngest child). I was responsible for my own gas and had to make a $50 payment per month for two years. I needed the car b/c I worked out of town, but honestly took the responsibility very seriously.

Fast-forward to my step-kids....
Dh and I have bought cars for the kids to use. The general rule has been this: Kids pay for insurance and gas while living in our house and using the vehicle. The keys to the vehicle never stay in the child's possession - once you're home those keys stay on the counter/table/whereever. You are not able to just jump in the car and take off...vehicles have been provided for school or work purposes only and anything else needs to be approved through us. We have given each step-kid the opportunity to buy the vehicle from us (usually for about what we paid for it ~$1000).

I'm not saying these are great methods or even the best. I agree that you know Ashley best and how she'll accept the responsibility!

**SCDowney** · 07-26-2005, 10:21 AM

You ladies have some neat, workable ideas. My ex and I have not provided the kids with a car; I certainly can't afford it! Sometimes I feel guilty about this, but they walk or take the bus to get where they need to be. My kids appreciate and take care of things much better if they have paid for them.
I think it depends on the kid too. My parents shared a '69 VW Beetle with us, with rules. I didn't have to pay for anything, but I did have to learn how to maintain it and obey rules. I only took off once, to my cousins cabin, because we lived in the bush and I was really feeling it!
My ex and his siblings were provided with a car too, with rules. His sisters were very responsible, but he definitely was not!
One of my friends has not provided her teenage son with a vehicle; he works for most of what he gets and is a very responsible young man.
Have a great day everybody!

**Mom23boys** · 07-26-2005, 12:36 PM

We did provide Richard with a car when he turned 16, but there are rules he must follow. He has to provide the gas for it. I am not paying for him to drive to his friends house! The keys are hung in the kitchen on a hook. He doesn't go ANYWHERE without permission. He also is resposible for keeping it clean, which he has no problem doing. He uses the car mainly to get to school and home, to run errands if I need him to and to go pick up and drop off his brothers from activities they participate in when we can't get there. It does help. We do pay for the insurance. This car is in my name and will stay that way. If he wants it to follow him when he moves out next year or whenever, he will have to pay us for it. It also is nothing fancy like his friends have. It is just an older, dependable car. I think that is all he needs. Chris will be getting his permit in January when he turns 15. I don't know what I will do when he turns 16. I am hoping that we don't end up getting a 4th car. He may end up with the one Richard drives.

**Mamaw** · 07-26-2005, 08:08 PM

I live in a very rural area and all three of my children worked from age 16 ( one at 15) and up. So yes, we did help them buy second hand cars to get to work, etc. But the deal was they had to pay their own insurance, gas and upkeep. ( tires, inspection, etc) Many times we ended up helping them out when they did not have the cash but it did them good to work for it. Then when they went to college, we paid the insurance and upkeep since we wanted them to concentrate on their studies. They still had to pay for gas however and none of them had car payments at that point so it was not too bad. Good luck!