Yesterday, I was depressed about the local knitting group; today I am resigned ...

[Early Bird]

I hope some of you might give me insights.

Both times that I've gone to the local knitting group, I've come home feeling down. I'm trying to figure if it's worth continuing.

First, I'm very much a novice knitter. The 'leader' has been helping me learn to knit a pair of socks.

The rest of the group seem to be quite sophisticated knitters. (There's one other beginner, but she comes with an experienced-knitter friend, and they sit together).

So, one reason I'm feeling low is that I'm out of my league skill-wise.

I know that, if I persevere, time will cure that. But do I want to persevere?

******************

Second, the knitting group is passionate about this hobby. They are planning a trip in the fall to a yarn warehouse. Their knitting is impressive. They spend their time discussing the merits of 'Paris Nights' yarn and 'cashmere blends.' One woman is making a luxurious scarf for her husband. She mentioned that it's got 'about $100 worth' of yarn in it.

I bought MY yarn at Hobby Lobby.

So, I guess I feel that these women are Yarn Snobs.

****************

Finally, last night a local 'celebrity' knitter came to the group. Many of the other women deferred to her as if she were The Queen. She has a Yarn Shop and threw out numerous references to things that you could buy at her Shop. For example, she brought an example of a pattern she's selling. Yes, beautiful. But I'm frankly happy with my internet freebies.

So, a little depressed by the Queen Bee. A little down because she had a chorus of admirers. But I can see a lot to admire in her work too.

****************

Overall, though, I guess what got me the most was that everyone else's interacations were all 'feel this yarn!' or 'I tried this stitch on this project.' While my interactions were, "Amy, what does this mean when you're turning the sock?" And Amy would stop her project to help me.

I felt as if I were a detriment to the group.

**********************

Now, this group will be moving to a location further from my house when fall hits. In fact, with our vacation plans, I'll only get to 2 more of the meetings close to home.

I know you're not exactly in my shoes, but can you think of anything that would make this group work better for me? Is it just that I deal best with people one-on-one ... and a whole roomful of strangers is intimidating? Do I just need to get over some shyness? I'd like to make friends. I'd like to share a hobby with friends.

And I want to learn to knit well. But will this group ever get me inspired and energized? Or just feeling hopeless?

**********************
Anyway, I've got a built-in excuse to quit when they move to a new location.

Would you continue?

[YankeeMom]

Have you tried going to a Michaels or Hobby Lobby (do they have them at HL?) where they have "Learning to Knit" classes? Maybe you could start up your own knitting group and learn from each other.

I understand the shyness. We have a knitting group here that actually EXCLUDES everyone who was not an original members. No new members unless they are family members. How's that for making new knitters feel welcome?

[dina]

You certainly don't have to stay in a group where you are uncomfortable. You also don't have to feel bad about leaving or make excuses.

I'm not a knitter but I do quilt and had similar problems with the local quilt guild. I only belonged for one year and then only attended three meetings. This is a large group (avg. attendance 200) and I couldn't arrive early enough to get a good seat. Would get there 30  minutes early to find a handful of women "saving" every seat in the auditorium. Had to wait till they added more chairs in the back corner to sit down.

And I also know about people spending bunches of money and getting way too serious about a hobby. But not all of us are that way -- and I'm sure not all knitters are either. Just keep looking. It doesn't hurt to ask "Do you knit?" A co-worker, club or church member or even a neighbor might be a "closet knitter." Who knows?

I agree about checking at Hobby Lobby or another local craft store for beginners classes. But after you have the basics down, I think the best way to learn to knit is by knitting. Some things are best learned from experience. So, just knit away and don't worry about your first efforts being "perfect."

[PrairieRose]

I've attended several clubs in the past (not necessarily knitting or quilting) that made me feel the same way. It's no fun to feel like an outsider looking in and I can't quite understand why some people seem so self involved they can't even understand that they are doing this. I quit the clubs I was involved in b/c of this but if you're learning anything and esp. if you've paid a fee of any kind I might stick with it until the move at least and then look for help elsewhere.

[homesteadmamma]

I'd leave and try and find someone or somewhere that you can go and feel comfortable with. There are wonderful people out there willing to help if you just put the word out. Church, stores, community clubs are a good place to find them.

I've heard numerous stories about quilting guilds being exactly the same. I haven't found one yet that I've enjoyed going to, which is a sad testament to those who attend.

Is there a store close to where you live that sells knitting supplies. They may even have knitting classes.

You might also want to talk to Amy and tell her how your feeling and find out if she would be willing to teach you on a one to one basis. By the sounds of it, she has been willing to help you.

[KatieInLa2]

I'm sorry you are having problems. I have no advice for you. I am having the same problems with a quilting group I have tried to join. This group has been meeting for years and its hard to get into and feel at ease with them. All are nice except two or three. One told me guild meetings are for old women. There is one member that is talked about so badly when she is not present and she's been with the group for years.

[Early Bird]

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately, we live in a small town -- the nearest Hobby Lobby or JoAnn's is an hour away. (The woman with the Yarn Shop has extremely limited hours.)

No, no fee. But I really want to learn to knit something that people won't be ashamed to wear!

I like your 'just keep knitting' advice. It's like creative writing ... or music ... or housework: the more you do, the better you get.

BTW, our small library has over 100 books on knitting in their collection. I'm reading one now called "Stitch and Bitch."

[canadian gardener]

I'd quit and start my own. Frugal simple knitters or something, and like the suggestions above, I'd look for fellow beginners and frugal knitters at the stores you buy wool from.

And I'd be getting my advice from experts online who aren't into selling something or having you oooh and ahhh over their expertise and ability.

I know exactly what you mean. It's like a meeting of the country club where each one vies to outdo the other in how much money she can waste on yarn.

Or weird stitches that are too complicated for normal routine use, but by golly Mavis did a whole sweater in them, complete with shaped shoulders and armholes.

Never mind her calculations were more complicated for those shapings with that weird stitch than the calculations for the original moon landing.

That would be part of the pizzazz for Mavis-- since her life is a bit small to start with and this is where her one-up-manship can really have it's outlet.

People like us are her natural born audience.

Skip her side show

and the big meeting long ads for the local yarn cellar (like a wine cellar-- just as expensive)

and go do your own thing. Bet more people would really enjoy knitting if they could go to YOUR club!!!!

I know I would!!!

[canadian gardener]

Oh and you put your finger right on why I don't belong to one locally.

I knit dishcloths. Everytime I do something different it takes too long and I lose interest.

But dang it I really like doing dishcloths. Some plain, some fancy. But catch me doing a dishcloth beside a yarn queen!!!!

Hah! Silly biddies. Waste of my time.

I would rather hang out with someone else who knits in a casual fun way and doesn't spend the family inheritance and all future monies coming in on yarn.

[Early Bird]

Oh, Margery! I was so hoping you'd answer!

I've been mulling over your advice, and I think I have a plan:

I really like and admire the group leader, Amy, and I know she'll feel bad if I quit. So, I'll stay for the 2 more convenient sessions, then use 'distance' as my excuse. (Actuall it's distance + leaving the kids for poor, hard-working DH to deal with for yet another HOUR (travel time))

And, next summer, when Amy offers free classes for kids during the day in our small town, I"ll attend gratefully. (She invites everyone, but only a few moms attend.) And I'll try to come up with a very nice 'Thank You' gift for the end of the class.

In the meantime, I know one (very busy) homeschooling mom who knits. I'll see if I can get her to help me over any hurdles.

Oh! And Margery -- I think sock knitting is going to be every bit as addicting as dishcloth knitting!

I have dropped a chunk of change on this hobby, but I used my allowance, so no breaking the budget.

See, the advantage of sock knitting is that it looks so darn impressive -- using FIVE needles. And, when stuck in a tedious conversation with relatives, nothing like pretending to look for a dropped stitch to give me a graceful 'out' when expected to answer agree with them!

[Michele Annette]

I hope Amy helps you, she sounds very nice! Whatever it takes to keep you liking your hobby.

I never joined the quilting guild in my town for the very same reasons, so I learned everything on my own and had a much better experience doing so. Now if I want to have a more social experience doing so I invite a couple of girlfriends over for a craft day. Everyone brings whatever they want to work on and I make lunch. None of my friends quilt or even like fabric!

[amysh]

Hi! I don't post here very often, but I love to knit. (Socks scare me though - you're brave.) I consider myself an intermediate knitter - have made several sweaters over the past 13 years.

Yesterday I went into a yarn store I had never been to before. Now these places are usually pretty little, and pretty friendly. There were several women knitting at a table, presumably a class or something. NO ONE said anything to me for at least 20 minutes while I wandered around the store. Literally, I could have been invisible. No one said hello, asked if I were looking for anything. NOTHING. It was like showing up at a party I wasn't invited to. I thought maybe the store was closed...I used to go to a knitting class at a yarn store after the retail hours. But, no, they were definitely open.

Eventually someone asked me if I were looking for something. By that point, I had lost all enthusiasm. I was very saddened by this! I was so bummed when I walked out of the store. So I stopped at another store on the way home, and they were very friendly, even though I didn't buy anything.

Frankly, yarn is expensive! There is no way around it, as far as I can tell. IMHO, if I'm going to spend hours/weeks/months knitting something, I want it to last when I'm done. So I tend to buy quality wool or cotton yarns, but never anything too flashy or expensive. (Relatively speaking.) I drool over some of the flashy stuff, but don't know how I would work it into a sweater, so...I don't. (Plus, I like to make things that I know I will be able to wear for a long time...not something that's going to be out of style in six months, or before it's even done!

My best luck with a knitting group was an informal class I went to at a now-defunct knitting store. It was a 'show up if you feel like it', every one from beginners to fairly advanced knitters, class. BUT, we did pay for the class. But everyone was very friendly, especially to my husband who attended with me. (He finished one sweather, and has started several others, but has not, unfortunately, finished them!)

Good luck! If it were me, I would continue to attend as long as I liked the teacher.

Amy

[Missy]

ROFL, about using your sock knitting as an out from a tedious conversation. Too funny. I gotta use that.

I tought myself to knit. I have the help from ladies here and the book "The complete idiots Guide to Knitting and Crochet" it was a wonderful resourse.

I agree, start your own group, maybe the homeschool mom you mentioned could help you? Are you involved at a church? If so, ask your reverend or pastor if you could start a "small group" that meets there to enjoy fellowship and knitting. Tout your group as being for all skill levels, learn as we, go casual knitters. I betcha you'll have tons of newbies who want nothing more than some encouragement to keep trying! And no matter what, have fun with it!

[cthy1954]

I like to knit dishcloths too. I have also knitted afghans, sweaters and such. Personally, I would rather crochet. I am a beginner.
As for the knitting group. No matter what the group is about (sewing, needlework, cooking, even some women's church groups), you are always going to have those people who consider themselves "superior". It makes life hard on those of us just trying to learn something even if it is basic to others, like knitting, crocheting or even frying potatoes in cast iron.
I have learned the hard way to avoid clubs and groups. I teach myself if I can. There are always books or things on line. That being said, if you can find someone willing to teach, you are truly blessed. Learn what you can, then when it is your turn, gladly teach someone else.

[SewCrafty]

Early Bird, I am so sorry this has happened to you. I think your idea is perfect.

I am self taught with most crafts but a wonderful neighbor friend showed me how to knit when I was in my teens.

I'm curious, I love to teach my crafts but how do I go about finding out if there is interest in my area? I'm in the country and do not attend any church. I think most women around here know how to knit and crochet, but hey I could be wrong on that one.