Are people shocked by your RAOK?

[lizard22]

I'm curious to know if this has ever happened to any of you:

I was leaving a fast food restaurant and I noticed that someone was on their way in. I waited and held the door for her. She stared at me the whole way in and even turned her head to take one more look. She didn't even say thank you because she was in such shock.

This is not the first time things like this have happened. I have let people ahead of me at the checkout of the grocery store if they only have 2-3 items. I often get a look of disbelief and then a dozen thank-you's.

Is common curtisy so far removed from our daily lives that people are shocked when it actually happens?

[Englishlady]

Most people here DO hold doors open for each other I am sure that we have all had the odd one who see's you coming & then lets the door go.........the ratbags!

Where I live when we get OFF the bus, I would say that 70% of people say "Thank you" to the Bus driver ( me included!)

What DOES suprise me is how readily people accept the generosity of others, in so far as the receiver rarely seem shocked or surprised at being given things

Maybe it's just me, but, when anyone puts themselves out for me( which looking back isn't often,) with just a few noteworthy exceptions ..........I would be THRILLED and delighted and utterly gobsmacked ....not to mention grateful!

But this comes down to my theory of "Other Peoples Money", there are a lot of people in this world who think they have a RIGHT to other peoples money........children expect the parents money! siblings expect other siblings money..........burglars, 'nuff said Insurance fraudsters ( they think it is a Victimless crime, because "the company can afford it"! ..........)

I think, in this life you reap what you sew and I HATE bad manners, they cost nothing and make such a difference

They say that the Brits invented the Que! ( standing in line) and to be honest I find that most people still, do patiently wait their turn......although woe betide the person who tries to "push in":yikes

Karen
:jabber

[Darlene]

I had an awkward exchange at Walmart in the deli section. My turn so I say "Hello, how are you" to the gentleman taking my order. He looked at me like I had 2 heads and kept staring at me. I said. " is something wrong" and he said, " what did you say" and I repeated myself. People were staring. I said "I was just trying to be friendly" and he still looking at me like I'm from Mars said "this is walmart" So I said," So what, you can't be friendly & nice in Walmart?" It was so awkward & bizzare!
Now when he sees me he usually goes over the limit takes the extra up, weighs it, gets the sticker & puts the rest down & wraps it.
I'm a pretty friendly person and help & talk to people as I run my errands and some are surprised but almost all are happy when you just even say hi.
To those who know I'm behind and don't hold the door I say in a voice loud enough to hear, "thank you for holding the door, you have a great day" gets them everytime as I took the high road & they are jerks, lol.

[SHOPGIRL]

I haven't had that weird experience. People always respond positively to RAOK.

[tbs727]

Wow, those are really interesting stories. The things you explained are normal around here. Opening doors and talking to people in line at wal-mart or having a friendly conversation with an employee are completely normal. Maybe its because I'm in the south? Perhaps its a region thing? I don't know...

I wouldn't know what to do if people didn't talk to me while I'm waiting in lines at wal-mart. I guess I'd be loney...

[Kimberlina]

I find most people hold the door (though not always, particularly at work, as I run into a broader cross-section of culture and manners at the hospital.) I always hold the door until the next person gets there, and if the person is elderly, has their hands full, or is otherwise likely going to have difficulty, I will go out of my way to get the door before they get to it, then hold it open until they are all the way through. Many gentlemen do the same for women around here, but I notice that some of the younger ones don't do this.

I try to always say hello and have a nice day to service workers (cashiers, etc) but I have noticed that many of them are just as content never to say one single word throughout the entire transaction, which does annoy me a little, but I do try to remember that those poor kids have probably checked 200 people already that day and are just exhausted.

I let a guy in front of me in line the other day and he was thrilled. I made DH let someone go ahead last week, and I don't know what the response was because I took DD out to the car as I told DH to let the guy go ahead. I just think it is those little niceties that keep us all civil. I would hope if I only had two or three items and you were in front of me with a cart, you might turn and say, "You can go ahead of me," and then I would say, "Thank you so much."

And if I held the door and someone and they didn't acknowledge and looked at me like I had 62 heads, I would definitely give them a disapproving look. I hae done this in the past (like when I open the door for myself, hands loaded down, and some young, fully capable rude person on the other side just walks right through, practically into me.) That usually gets a second glance and apology from them....

[graci42]

My biggest thing as a cashier is to acknowledge customers who are waiting. I would love to be treated that way, myself.

I had a tremendously long line one day and made a point to look directly at several people in line and tell them with a smile, "I'll be with you in just a minute". That seemed to make all the difference in everyone's attitude! They were less stressed and smiled because they were being treated with courtesy rather than as a line of cattle with wallets.

I also try to make each transaction easy and personal..."Did you find every thing?" or I'll ask if they have a special need: "Would you like a seperate bag for this?".

By taking the time to "pay attention" to individual needs and acknowledge customers who are waiting, I make checking out a pleasant experience for both customers and myself!

Here's the sad part...At the end of each transaction I say Thank you for shopping at....(fill in the blank)....I've only had 3 people say "You're welcome" and all 3 instances were on the same day about 2 weeks ago. I've been cashiering for over a year.

Graci

[fernykins]

I alway let people with small orders go in front of me. They have alway said thank you. I have hold the door open for people older then my self. I have also found that some of the younger people still open the door for me. It is nice to see that they are still being taught manners
Fern

[Sara Noel]

I was at walmart not long ago and I only had a few items and the woman in front of me says oh the customer service desk is taking people..well I could see people all stampeding to go there, so I said oh that's ok I'll stay here because by the time I get there, I'll be 5th in line.

Anyway, so I'm talking to this woman about blah blah blah and I guess they just don't make thermoses anymore blah blah blah. lol

Anyway so she lets me ahead of her which was really kind and I even said oh no really go ahead because she had children with her and I wasn't in a rush and she still insisted because I had so few items.

Anyway when it was finally my turn The cashier whispers to me, you are the only person that should be in this line at all. D'oh it was an express lane. lol

[krisathome]

Yes, most of the time they are shocked. I often let people with less items go ahead of me in line or if they have impatient children and I always, always hold the door for people not matter what. I just think it's all common curtesy. My kids do it, my dh does it....but most people around our area don't. And I think it is sad. I can't remember the last time someone was kind to me, not that I expect it really but isn't that how things should be in this "hurry up" and "no time for others" society?

[Lori Biever-Launder]

I try to let folks who have a few things go in front of me all of the time. I know I appreciate it when someone does that for me. People are surprised when I do this. I usually do it when I am on my big shopping trip and have two carts full to ring up, so this really, really save them time. Everyone thanks me.

I live in a small town and I talk to everyone. It costs nothing to be nice and people (usually) appreicate it!

[bamamomto4]

I agree with Tiffany. Thats just the "norm" down in the south
You have a few rude people who will run out the door with it slamming on the wall ,but most poeple "down here" are friendly...me included lol

I always hold the door open for people,I'll even stand there and wait for someone to come out LOL I mean,like if I see them coming,but are not really about to walk out the door,I'll wait and hold it open

I let a guy go ahead of me at Piggly Wiggly a few weeks back and he kept saying no,go ahead, I told him I insist he go ahead of me. He had 2 items to my 20+....he finally went ahead and said Thank you.

About a yr or two ago,this lady was in front of me at Wal-Mart and didnt have enough money to pay.She told the kids,she'd have to put back the snacks and her one child said "But you promised"...I stepped up and paid the rest.It wasn't much,but to those kids,it was a lot. I had an extra pep in my step allday LOL!!!

And,last one,I promise, (I'm just so chatty today lol) Saturday when I was walking into Target this lady comes out pushing a cart FULL holding a small child (maybe 2) and looked 8 months pregant.The lady walking in front of me asked if she could help and the woman said no. The lady kept on and said "I REALLY dont mind,please let me help you.." When I got inside I looked out and she was pushing the cart to the ladies car I thought that was very nice. I would've offered to help,but the other lady beat me to it

[mommy2many]

Yes they are. I was in the grocery store yesterday and an older lady was standing by the 24 packs of water on sale and she just had a look on her face like she couldn't lift it. So I offered to lift it into her cart for her and reminded her that they would carry it out for her and she could always take a few in the house at a time. Well she looked like she was cry with graditude!

[canadian gardener]

Well I think it's getting so manners are almost a lost art in some ways, so it must be a shocking act to be kind.

ROFL I was just thinking you know, RAOK is Random Acts of Kindness, but sometimes people who fail to respond appropriately are either in shock

which is most OR

or

or

are responding with a RAOR

(random act of rudeness)

heheheheheh

don't mind me, it just struck me that was what you could call it mentally.

THEN HOW WOULD THEY RESPOND TO THAT EVIL TWINKLE IN YOUR EYE AS you say under your breath with a chuckle, hmmmm well that was a RAOR!!!!