I guess I just need to vent:(

**dhmunoz** · 12-23-2005, 04:39 PM

I have been feeling so stressed and frustrated...I think I just need to vent....it might be long, so feel free to skip if you like, I won't be offended at all!

We don't have a whole lot of money in the first place, even with DH working 2 jobs. Mostly because of wage garnishments

We have bills in collections that we are chipping away at as best as we can, but we still have a ways to go.

Our goal is to buy a house. We are renting a doublewide mobile home right now...and it is pretty new, but has been abused by previous tenants and things are falling apart. Our landlord lives out of town, pretty far away too. He is hard to get ahold of, so our agreement with him is that we fix things and then deduct from rent. I'm getting tired of fixing things

If we are not paying for something here, we are putting every cent to the bills that are in collections--as well as other bills we have so we can keep those OUT of collections.

DH gets paid weekly, and not a lot either. I buy groceries by the week and it's pretty sparse. I'm to the point where my idea of paradise would be to be able to spend a whole $100 on groceries alone. Not sure when that might happen

We've been getting by on $25-$35 a week, for a family of 6....so as you might imagine, the variety isn't great. I do participate in the SHARE program as well every month, so there's an extra box of food, so that's good.

We were only able to budget out $120 for Christmas. We have 4 kids here at home and 1 in a residential program=total of 5 kids. I think I got the majority of gifts at Dollar Tree.

I would be thrilled if *I* could go work as well...but unfortunately when I checked around for daycare, the cheapest I found was $4.25/hr PER CHILD and no one in my city offers discounts for additional children. I would have to have 3 kids in daycare! I wouldn't even be able to PAY for it! All of our relatives live in California, so asking relatives to watch kids is out...unless one of them doesn't mind driving the 1500 miles, LOL

I think I'm just having my own little pity party here

I'm sorry...done with rant....maybe someone can see an "UP" side that I'm not, right now.

**baxjul** · 12-23-2005, 05:07 PM

I hope that everything gets better for you. I'm sending good thoughts your way.

**Kimberlina** · 12-23-2005, 05:10 PM

Sounds like a tough time.

I don't really want to offer up any advice, as I don't think I'll say anything helpful, but is there any chance you could work nights, while the kids and your DH are sleeping? My DH works twwo jobs, but I work evening 3 days a week, which pays for health insurance for DD and I and brings in a little extra money. DD is never in daycare becaue she is home with DH while I am at work. I know third shift isn't fun, but it might help you out some.

**sunshine** · 12-23-2005, 05:26 PM

Is there any opportunity for you to take in an additional child or two to watch? If you are having difficulty finding affordable day care, I imagine others are as well.

I'm sure you've probably checked out the WIC program and such.

Lots of hugs and good thoughts coming your way.

**Telephus44** · 12-23-2005, 05:30 PM

I don't really have any advice, but I wanted to give you a cyberhug! Everyone needs a break for a pity party now and then.

**daddys3chicks** · 12-23-2005, 06:42 PM

How about just afterschool care for a child. This would only involve a few hours not the entire day, and there might be someone you know who needs this. No other advice but lots of HUGS and best wishes for a better new year!

**Lori Biever-Launder** · 12-23-2005, 06:59 PM

Everyone else already used up my ideas! Oh well, I am adding my cyber supprt as well.

**MOMMYDEAREST** · 12-23-2005, 10:21 PM

i'm so sorry. i'm in oyur shoes right now too. i've been trying to budget my money alos. it just never seems like we are able to get ahead....it sucks. we alos have 4 kids & the money isn't there. my dh has a good job but we alos have alot of bills. if it wasn't for my stockpile, thigns wouldn't be good here either.....i want to give you a hug so bad........you are in my prayers

**dolphin** · 12-23-2005, 10:59 PM

There are churches and food banks that can help with your food needs. All you have to do is ask. The first few times you tell them your story you may cry and it will be difficult but darnit! you need help! Just explain that you are on the verge of bankrupcty and they should be able to help. Call each place that you think of or hear of and ask if they can't help then ask them if they know somewhere that can. Lots of charity is by word of mouth. They don't advertise.

First, get more food into the house. $35.00 a week is not enough for your family. You can do this. Be strong and just ASK! Make sure you are getting WIC if any children are under 5 years old. They give lots of free food. We have a county social service and a state social service office. The county will more likely help you. Find out when Government Commodities are distributed. Our Welfare office has the list here. Find out about food banks and where and when they distribute.

Some churches has clothing banks, some have food banks, some have emergency money. Check them out. Call them on the phone. Catholic Charities are very good help and lots of these places will even deliver food.

I still have my own little pitty parties now and then but after being broke for so long and not having money for food due to bills I just got out there and started looking and asking and we have been so blessed with so much food over the last 2 years, you would not believe it!

Now I volunteer for the food bank and rarely need to take any food but it is my way of paying back for the help we were given. You will be given the opportunity to help someday too so don't worry about what you are taking now.

If your dh has a pride problem with this, just don't tell him. Dh has learned to just not ask when we have a really nice dinner and he knew I was broke that day. Men have a harder time accepting charity but women know that it's there place to provide the meal any way they can for their families sake.

Also, make sure your family is put on Thanksgiving and Christmas lists for next year. You need to start early like well before Thanksgiving to apply for these at different charities. Get help for one year and then you may never need it again. God Bless and if I can help with any questions, please ask. Hugs and Merry Christmas, Carolyn

**bamamomto4** · 12-23-2005, 11:09 PM

I dont have any advice,but wanted you to know I was thinking of you

**i.m.cheap** · 12-24-2005, 07:21 AM

I can feel your pain, really I can. We are in the same boat, but I do manage to work about 16 hours a week while DH is home with our daughter. This is a challenge, because he works 40+ hours a week AND attends college full time, and we have only one car. We have never paid for day care, and before he started going to school, we both worked full time, just worked opposite shifts. I only get to see my DH a few hours a week, sharing a meal only on Sunday and Monday nights, but we are scraping by. I dream of having $100 to spend on food, too. Our total Christmas was less than $100.

I feel there is light at the end of the tunnel, as our car will be paid off in a few months, and DH is gaining skills that will land him a better job. (We hope!)

I am sure your family of six is not eating very well on $25-35 a week. There are only three of us, and sometimes that is all I have, too. I do have a small stockpile that gets us through the really tight weeks, and when there is a week with a little more money left over after bills, I try to build it back up by buying loss leaders, and using double coupons. Do you have an ALDI or Sav-A-Lot store where you live? Those stores sell the basics, CHEAP.

**favesis37** · 12-24-2005, 09:23 AM

i can say no more then what the others have said. i know from my past this is hard. but you will get thru it. best of luck! and big hugs!

**dhmunoz** · 12-24-2005, 09:51 AM

Good morning everyone

Thank you for all your support

In re-reading my original post and all of your replies, I see where I left some things out, LOL...funny how that "pity-party" thinking works! If I'm being honest and not just whining, we actually *DO* eat okay on what we have. I am very, very, very frugal and I buy inexpensive basics and make balanced--albeit very BORING--meals. Beans & rice with a veggie, baked potatoes with a salad, spagetti with salad and garlic bread....those are some of the things we have often. Lots of different burritos with whatever I throw together, on homemade tortillas. A friend of DH's from work gives us tons of free eggs from her chickens, it's amazing what can be done with eggs! I do get WIC for my daughter, but it's about to run out, as she will be 5 in March, and she is the youngest. Only the kids drink milk....DH hates milk and I am intolerant, and the kids really don't like it that much but I insist they drink it, LOL. I buy meats early in the morning when they are marking the older ones down. I've gotten some amazing buys!

I would work a 3rd shift job if I could, but they are VERY hard to come by here. That was what DH was looking for before he got the 2nd job he has now. There are not many places here that have that shift. And unfortunately, if I did find one, when would I sleep? Our kids are in 3 different schools, all starting and ending at different times. I am in the car morning, noon, and afternoon. (No choice in the matter--I'm talking about Middle School, Elementary, and Preschool...and our district has NO buses). I have a medical condition that is exacerbated by not getting proper rest. I'd be in the hospital after very long if I worked all night and stayed up all day with no sleep. DH works 7 days a week...10-12 hours a day.

Someone mentioned government help....that would be so nice, but we don't qualify. The government agencies go by income, and on paper ours looks very high--over $50K. The don't take into consideration the many wage garnishments that reduce the check...or the fact that medical bills HAVE to be paid before they go into collections. DH had a back surgery in '02...a heart attack in '03....another cardiac stent placed in '04....tonsillectomy and adenoid removal in '05. My daughter had an appendectomy in '04 that we are still paying on, too. This is our biggest dilemma, really--the medical bills.

I'm not comfortable with doing childcare in my home. I am overly busy with my own children, and I am never really "at home". I don't feel comfortable toting someone else's child around in the car all day--what kind of environment is that? The other thing is, most everyone I know that has been looking for child care lately is on State Child Care Subsidy, and that requires that the provider be licensed by the state...and that is not FREE at all

Our high-on-paper income excludes ME from that same program, we already tried

Ahhh well.....I know that we will get through this eventually, and I do have to say that I feel much more optimistic this morning

YAY Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas everyone