When you got married, did you take your dh's name?

**SHOPGIRL** · 01-07-2006, 10:01 PM

Or, did you keep your maiden name?

I was 32 when I got married.  I'm a conservative woman, not exactly a feminist.  I decided to keep my maiden name as my legal last name.  I didn't want to hyphenate it since it makes it too long.  I thought about changing it, but I just have never been able to do it.  I teach so sometimes I get called my maiden name and my married name.  Maybe if I would have been younger when I got married, I would have felt different.  My dh doesn't have a horrible last name so that's not the issue.  A name is such a huge part of my identify.  It never mattered to my dh if I took his name.  So, I just wondered if there was anyone else married, still using their maiden name. 

**Pepper** · 01-07-2006, 10:03 PM

Not me!! I took dh, never even thought about keeping my maiden name!

**homesteadmamma** · 01-07-2006, 10:07 PM

When I got married (38 years ago) you never even thought about keeping your own name. You just took your new husband's last name.

**PrairieRose** · 01-07-2006, 10:09 PM

No I took Gripey's last name. His neice didn't take her dh's though.

**Kimberlina** · 01-07-2006, 10:11 PM

I go by both, not hyphenated, which confuses the heck out of a lot of people, But I am ME, and I didn't want to change my name or add to it at all. I only did it out of consideration for my future children and because my MIL kept pestering me. So my name is Kimberly Sxxxxxxxx Wxxxxxx, and DD and DH just have the Wxxxxxx part.

**thrifty gal** · 01-07-2006, 10:14 PM

I took dh's name. Never thought of not taking his.

**SHOPGIRL** · 01-07-2006, 10:15 PM

Kimberly,

That's basically exactly what I do now on non-legal things. I'm Shannon $$$ $$$$. One of my coworkers said that she gave her kids her maiden name as their middle name, which I thought was kinda cool. That was over 20 years ago.

**Emerald_Mommy** · 01-07-2006, 11:11 PM

I took Philip's name. I'd been dreaming about being Mrs. XXXXXXX for long enough anyway!

I still call myself a "XXXXXX girl" (maiden name) sometimes, and I always tell Isabel and Ingrid that they're "XXXXXX girls" too, so they feel the connection.

**forestdale** · 01-07-2006, 11:52 PM

I had just finished answering this thread when a thunder storm shut off my computer. I took it as a sign that you didn't want to read my thoughts (mad ranting) on this subject again. lol

**SHOPGIRL** · 01-08-2006, 12:07 AM

Oh no, I'd love to hear your ranting. I do use my husband's name, just not legally. I've been transitioning. At work I use both names. Socially, I take my husband's name.

**Minner77** · 01-08-2006, 12:23 AM

I figure that if two become one flesh, they should have the same last name... so we do. Got married at 26, 18 years ago. Wouldn't have it any other way. We have only one checking account, too, which shocks some people, and own everything jointly. Again, wouldn't have it any other way.

Kindest regards,
Mary

**forestdale** · 01-08-2006, 12:23 AM

ok Shannon, you asked for it. I can imagine long-term villagers rolling their eyes now.

I was married in Germany and by law, I had to take my DH's name. If I had married in Australia I would have kept the name I was born with.

For me it's just a sad reminder that woman don't have names. I realise now that keeping the name I was born with would only have continued to stamp me with my father's brand name. Now that I use my husband's name, I am branded with his.

Please don't take this to mean I don't love my DH. I do. A lot.

I do see it, however, as a pathetic reflection of how society, even now, views women.

**SHOPGIRL** · 01-08-2006, 12:29 AM

Oh, I'm so glad you said this. I love my husband, and it's really not that I don't want his name. I just like my name and it just fits me. I can't tell you how many times I just kept writing his last name next to mine, over and over, and it just didn't look right. I mean, it's just a name.

Also, people never mispronounce or spell my maiden name and they always get his name wrong.

I'm glad that today woman here in the U.S. have a choice.

**forestdale** · 01-08-2006, 12:38 AM

We have the choice here too, Shannon. But it's only the choice between your husbands name or your father's name. Women don't have names.

**SHOPGIRL** · 01-08-2006, 12:43 AM

Very true. We do live in a male dominated society. I wonder if it will ever change. I think its very doubtful it ever would. Your right about the name. I have my father's name.