I did it, in almost 17 months, first time driving "alone"

**frugalbutterfly** · 02-12-2006, 09:11 PM

Well, I did it. I drove all by my lonesome today for the first time in nearly 17 months! I drove last weekend from Daytona but, fololwed behind dh. Today, without anyone and in the store alone .
DH handed me $200 and told me to go to Walmart, only 4.5 miles away and told me I could go shopping but, I had to do it all alone. Woah, back up, what? He was serious. I needed to get a few things. Well, I was not going to and he said, well, he would be on the speaker phone while I went and it was Sunday and it is really "quiet" on the roads here then. I was torn between going and just giving into my fears and not driving myself, period! So, I drove around the other neighborhood here alittle and then...............................................

I was on the highway and on my way . It was not as scary as I thought it would be, I was not. You can just say, I have had more fear driving now then when you first learn to drive, I had no clue really what it was like "really" driving by myself, I can not remember allot of "life" pre-"this".
Of course, I forgot my "disabled" parking permit, which I don't think I would have parked there anyway. So, I parked away from most of the other cars. I don't want my new van getting dinged by someone else anyway. Went in got what I needed. I felt like I was being "looked" at for "moving" and seeming different or maybe because, I had a big grin on my face .
I come back a little different and right past the accident "scene" and did not think twice about it really. I have driven that intersection but with dh, and this time was my first time by myself and did just fine, was just like any other road.
I don't want to feel like a "hermit" or recluse(whatver they are called ) and let my fears take over because, allot of people with TBI"s(or any other injury) just give up and their fears over power them, and the quality of life is not the same. I will not bow down to letting that happen to me. I have faced all most everything since this but "them"(their time is comming ) and the pilot but, have driven the road(same van type and color of van(that is also what my new van is), the trauma room I was in I walked through, I have met the nurses I had in ICU, seen the helipcopter but not met the pilot, yet! And now, I have taken yet another step towards freedom, my freedom and picking up the pieces.

I have been told by dh, my drs., nurses, therapists and my advocate from BSCIP and friends who are both parapalygic(sp), that if I let my fears over take me and keep me from the life I want, this wins and that my friends WILL NOT HAPPEN!
Ahh, like a rush(only a good one ) at life in general, feels great to be really close to "living" again and not so dependant on someone or something. It may be abit before I brave this again alone, although dh knows I have been wanting to go back again to the rehab(part of the hospital) only, this time not as a patient and he told me, I can go, when I drive to him and we can have lunch again. So, we shall see.

**Kimberlina** · 02-12-2006, 09:19 PM

Excellent work, Beckie!

That is something to be proud of, for sure.

I'm very glad you just got out there and drove. It takes a whole lot of courage, confidence, and determination to face your fears. You did great!

**FrugalMomof3** · 02-12-2006, 09:25 PM

Congrats, Beckie!

You should be very proud! I am proud for you!

~Tracy~

**Michelle** · 02-12-2006, 09:35 PM

Becky. You've been through so much. I can totally relate (though my injuries weren't nearly as bad as yours). I broke my hip & fractured my pelvis when I was a senior in high school, and I didn't drive for YEARS. I finally forced myself when I realized that I would need to drive my dd's to preschool, among all the other things later on.

I don't drive the highway, but I drive many other places, and it's such a feeling of freedom.

You should be very proud of yourself

**Katybird** · 02-12-2006, 09:58 PM

I am so thrilled for you Becky! Another step towards the life you want and deserve!!!

**Vannie** · 02-12-2006, 10:31 PM

Wow Beckie, that took some powerful courage and determination. Good for you.

Congratulations.

**Dixie** · 02-12-2006, 10:35 PM

That is so wonderful!

**Lori Biever-Launder** · 02-12-2006, 11:42 PM

WTG, Beckie!!! I know it was tough, but didn't it feel GREAT?

**Pepper** · 02-13-2006, 01:38 AM

OMGoodness.......I am so proud of you. I can only imagine how empowering that was to you! Thank you for sharing it with us

**Darlene** · 02-13-2006, 08:06 AM

The sky is the limit Beckie! So happy you are going for it and not letting anything get in your way. Woohoo!

**SewCrafty** · 02-13-2006, 10:12 AM

WTG Beckie!

**Michele Annette** · 02-13-2006, 11:16 AM

That is awesome Beckie! You must be so proud of yourself. Plus a new sense of freedom.

**KimSecret** · 02-13-2006, 11:56 AM

That's totally awesome,Beckie! Youre a strong women and you will get through this. You have such a wonder Dh and friends for sticking by you and giving you so much encouragement!