Should I be feeling guilty?

**PrairieRose** · 02-26-2006, 02:24 PM

Gripey loves yard work and gardening. I don't. I love the fruits of his labor, the wonderful flowers and veggies for absolutely sure but I really hate the yard work end of it. I do however a couple times a year, when it's time to do the big spring clean up and then at the end of the year, get out there and help him. We'll prune and rake, mow and dig, sweep, wash down, pull up dead plants, etc. and so on. He does spend other days out there working away but since I sometimes help him, I kinda feel a twinge of guilt when I'm not. Should I? I mean I don't make him go out there and do that and he tells me that he really enjoys it. Today I want to catch up on the laundry and clean my car up good....he's out back working like a trojan. Should I feel guilty for not helping him? What if I wanted to nap instead of working at all? Should I feel guilty then? I mean, it's not like I don't lift a finger around here and he's not one to do much cleaning in the house (except he will clean up the kitchen after he's cooked), which means I do all that. What's your opinion on this pressing matter?

**Darlene** · 02-26-2006, 02:44 PM

He knows it's not your thing. You do lot's of other stuff Lisa, don't give it another thought & do what you want. You could ask him how he feels and then you could do whatever with his blessing.

**PrairieRose** · 02-26-2006, 02:53 PM

I have asked him and he says that "it's my hobby, it's what I enjoy doing" so I guess I should leave it at that. It's silly to feel guilty, I know but I kinda do, just a teensy bit.

**canadian gardener** · 02-26-2006, 03:48 PM

No guilt, non.

You each contribute in your own way. Rest in that.

**madhen** · 02-26-2006, 04:16 PM

There are a lot of things that I actually *prefer* to do on my own. If he is like most gardeners, he probably has his own way of doing things, and you would just get in the way!

Personally, gardening to me is kind of my way of meditating. (Except when I'm trying to turn the soil and the chickens keep jumping in front of the shovel to try to eat any earthworms I unearth!!)

**pita1213** · 02-26-2006, 07:40 PM

i'm sure he's glad to have the help on the days you come out and help him, but is fine doing it himself the other days since he says it's his hobby. it's something that he enjoys doing so don't feel guilty about him working on it himself. like madhen said, he probably has his own way fo doing things and it's most calming to do things himself. i know that's how it is for me. except for heavy duty stuff i just can't do (lugging heavy containers around etc) i'd rather work on my garden by myself. dh has no interest in it so he leaves me alone to do it myself except for the lifting. i do have one or two containers for the kids to help with. that satisfies their gardening wants and keeps momma sane since they aren't unfoot for the other containers.

anyway enough about us. you both contribute to the household in your own way. no need to feel guilty.

**ScrapMama** · 02-26-2006, 08:01 PM

I don't think you should feel guilty at all. My dh and I both have things like that where we just let the other take over, because it's their thing.

**hollyhill** · 02-28-2006, 03:21 AM

Don't feel guilty!

I prefer to be in the Garden......I would rather do that than anything in the house (I don't get to choose however), and I don't really like anyone to help me.....I don't know what I would do if my Dh had an opinion about the Garden, I wouldn't take too kindly to it! I know a few couples where both garden and usually they have very strict divisions in the garden ie: one does vegies the other flowers......or one prunes the other mows.......

My Dh will mow but I won't let him near the weeds. I swear even after all these years he will go and "help" by weeding out my vegetable seedlings! I think he does it on purpose so that I don't ask him again LOL!
Anyways, many Gardeners are very "protective" of their little bit of eden, so don't worry.