A quick hello

**Missy** · 05-17-2006, 02:28 AM

I will be sort of AWOL for the week. MIL passed away suddenly on Sunday morning. She wasn't ill, she was only 50. It came as a huge shock to us all. She had coffee in the morning. As was the routine with her and dh. They decided since it was mothers day to go sleep more. After a brief nap he woke, she did not. He tried to revive her, but it was too late.

It has been like walking through a dense fog. Everythign seems so surreal. And in the midst of all that, i still have kids to care for, so I can't contemplate much on it. Probably for the better. She and I didn't always see eye to eye (understatement), but I am broken hearted. DH is beside himself with grief.

DH and I have had to shoulder most of this financially ourselves. And we've not the resourses to do it. I don't know what to do. Insurance won't kick in for a month.

Tomorrow is the viewing. Tomorrow family begins trickling in from MN. uncles and grandfathers are going to be at the inlaws, aunts and a cousin will be here. The family dynamics are a nightmare, and keeping the two corners from each others throats will take some patience. But I know they will at least be civil for the sake of honoring MIL.

Friday is the memorial, she'll be cremated...i don't really understand the time frame on that, but she's supposed to be handed to FIL on Saturday.

So anyhow, that's where I will be...and that's what's going on. I feel l am running on empty. Sleep has been elusive, as I am sure you can imagine. I am in a panic over finances.

The kids are acting out. But a few times we have had conversations, and that seems to help out. They'd like to write her some cards/letters for me to put in her pocket tomorrow...so she can take those cards to heaven and remember they love her -- their idea. I think its a great idea. It should let them express their feelings and give them some feeling of empowerment. So I am going to take the cards/letters to put in her pocket as they have asked (they will not be going to the viewing. I really feel it would effect them negatively. I would rather they view her in their minds with the last image they had of her...laughing and playig with them).

**voodidit** · 05-17-2006, 02:33 AM

I'm sorry for your families loss Missy!

**Nada.Leona** · 05-17-2006, 06:41 AM

I'm sorry for this tragedy to have struck your family. I hope that everything goes well and smoothly over the next few days. Good luck, and we are here if you need us.

**Hollyhandi** · 05-17-2006, 07:14 AM

You all have my deepest sympathy.
You have enough to worry about right now the fianaces will work out.
I was in your shoes and the funeral home worked a payment plan for me.
Take care and we are here if needed (((((( Missy ))))))

**Darlene** · 05-17-2006, 07:18 AM

Thinking of you Missy and what the kids want to do is a wonderful idea.

**Kimberlina** · 05-17-2006, 09:52 AM

What a sweet idea the kids have.

**SewCrafty** · 05-17-2006, 09:52 AM

I'm very sorry for your family's loss.

**AmyMCGS** · 05-17-2006, 10:24 AM

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss & the extra stress the finances are adding to your burden. The kids' idea is very sweet.

**Emerald_Mommy** · 05-17-2006, 10:36 AM

So sorry for your family's loss, Missy.

**frugalfoster** · 05-17-2006, 11:06 AM

After my parents passed, my dd's were still very small. We used to get helium balloons and write messages to their grandparents on them and let them go. It really helped them. I'm sorry about your MIL, she was very young ... it must be really hard on your dh.

**cthy1954** · 05-17-2006, 11:23 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss. My prayer is that God will hold your husband, and you, close during this time of loss.
Also I have been where you are, as far as the nightmarish "family dynamics". The best solution I can offer is to concentrate on your husband, in his time of grief, and let the rest of it take care of itself.
God Bless You

**Valerie in WA** · 05-17-2006, 12:46 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. And the financial implications.

I have one small suggestion: keep a copy of the messages your children make for their grandma. Later, they or your DH might want to look at them again.