Is DH wrong? Job conundrum...

**hollyhill** · 06-01-2006, 01:10 PM

Well we came home from Disneyland late last night and on our answering machine is the ph# from another company Dh had put an application in with.

It is his dream job. He would be working with an engineer in a large company.... more of a management type position....Dh has always wanted to work in this company.

The job posting came up after he had already accepted his present position. I told Dh there was no harm about applying and seeing what came of it....initially he hestitated but then when one of the foremen he would be working for asked Dh to use pirated software....the second afternoon he had worked there (he had been working Fri.pms since he was hired)...it irked him enough to put in a resume....at this other place.

Well he then recieved this message last night and he was really excited and said he will phone them with his cell on his way to work in the AM see what was up....

well he phoned me and said he was asked to come in for a chat/interview tomorrow at 10:30 am!!!!!
I said...."But you have work!". So Dh said he had thought about that and he was going to tell the people he was working for that he couldn't come into work until noon tomorrow and he came up with some lame excuse.....I said I didn't think that was right! And why didn't he just tell this new Co. that he was working.....he then said he lied to them and said he wasn't starting work at the new company until Monday!!!!..

I am really miffed! Why didn't he just tell them the truth! Was he wrong?
What should he do? We've been out of the job market for so long it is hard to be level headed about these opportunities and I know it is going to Dh's head (everyone wants me YAHOO).....

I am very disappointed that he just had to come up with such a convoluted tale....why couldn't he just have said listen I just have accepted a new position but I would like to hear more about your proposal etc...

Man am I annoyed with him. And I suspect he is very confused right now......

**miss_thrifty** · 06-01-2006, 01:16 PM

I understand wher your coming from. Hubby did the same thing almost when we moved to the city, except he went for interview, got the job but alreadt atrted to work at new job. Told the other job, lame excuse instead of telling them the truth, he couldnt wait and got another job.
truth is always best but sometimes its hard to tell new boss "oh, by the way, Im going for another job, while I'm at this new one"
Do u know what I mean? Maybe he doesnt want to rock the other boat.
If he already accepted new posistion then yes , he should of told the truth or ask for more money from this one.

**Early Bird** · 06-01-2006, 04:22 PM

I think it was probably spur-of-the-moment reaction. After all, he wants this 2nd job BADLY, and he probably didn't think it through.

Unfortunately, I do stuff like this all the time. You think I'd have learned to THINK FIRST by now.

**hollyhill** · 06-01-2006, 05:06 PM

You are right early bird..... It was a knee jerk reaction in response to the offer.... and I am surprised because he is usually such a think through all my options and do the RIGHT thing kind of guy .......that it just threw me. And he does want JOB # 2 really bad.

I guess its easy for me to analyze the scenario after the fact and say.... YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID " ..........what ever"..... but I probably wouldn't have said anything more intelligent if put on the spot.

So I will just have to wait and see when he gets home what he said to his present employer to get himself out of going to work tomorrow.........not cool.

**Cele** · 06-01-2006, 06:29 PM

I don't think you should be too hard on your husband. The pirated software issue is likely weighing heavy on his mind. I work in that world, and it would be a deal-breaker for me. If a company steals software, what else do they pilfer or cheat on?

I can offer a suggestion for the lame excuse issue. Since I'm a client-facing consultant (I usually work at a client's building during a project) I learned a long time ago to simply say "I have a prior commitment on X date". It could be personal business, a medical appointment, or an interview. I don't offer additional details. Sometimes less is more.

**Early Bird** · 06-01-2006, 07:05 PM

Oooh, Cele, I've got to remember that one!

**Valerie in WA** · 06-01-2006, 08:01 PM

Oh, Holly, I think I understand where your feelings are coming from: your dh's dishonesty has disappointed you. Regardless of whether or not it was justified, he lied. And that bothers you. Tell him that, along with telling him how much you love him. Give him a big hug and forgive him. Then go pray that he ends up in the job God wants for him - I already have.

**Jerseygirl** · 06-02-2006, 12:21 PM

It's probably better that he is not burning bridges at his current company before getting a real offer from the dream job.

**hollyhill** · 06-04-2006, 10:17 PM

Well he had the "Chat"...it turned into a 2.5 hour interview/tour of the plant/quizes etc. I think he has the job. He will have to make a choice! And it isn't going to be easy...... I will let you know....

Also, his existing job didn't ask too many questions.... so he was able to be deliberately vague.....

**canadian gardener** · 06-05-2006, 11:46 AM

Lets pray he gets the right one, and hope for the best. HUGS!
Love
M

**hollyhill** · 06-06-2006, 12:57 AM

Hi Margery

He was offered the second job today. They want him to come in to outline the offer at 6:30 tomorrow morning.
He really wants that job....he is thrilled. He will be designing and implementing robotic systems. He has written a very nice dear John letter to his other new employers (where they were using him as a machinist with the promise of "letting" him do the robotics when he wasn't busy)..... allong with a series of recommendations....
I will know about 9:00 how it all went.