just venting!!!

**miss_thrifty** · 06-20-2006, 11:50 AM

well hubby went behind my back and orderd the dang BBQ from sears on the card!!,

well he took from my purse.!!! and had the gawl to brag in front of neighbours very casually that he ordered it and not to worry he'll pay it. yeah how and when? I'm just started paying on the other 3 cards, this one was clear.!!!My goal was to pay off the other three by xmas incase that dang truck breaks naything on it again , then we would be caught up. I'm so angry and disppointed, he's taking advantage of me and I really could use the family allowance for other things beside bills.

I would like to catch up on everything we need in here and always have alittle cash in on my own for yard sales very week and frenchies store(thrift shop). I would go ther 3 times a week walking just to look if i thought i could find some goodies i could use.

I told him off last night what i thought of him!!! And asked him why? his answer: " dont worry i told u I will pay for the BBQ and I will" I said" how long, how much are u going to put on it , and what are we going to do without"? he said not to worry.
Sometimes , i wonder why Im still married, really? sorry just venting!!!!!

**Katybird** · 06-20-2006, 12:04 PM

I am sorry that your DH did this to you. Can you return it for a credit to your card when it is delivered? Maybe you can do this before DH even knows it has been delivered, since he did not feel the need to consult with you before ordering it, you can send it back before talking to him. I know that is a bit sneaky but I think the situation warrants it

**frugalfarmwife** · 06-20-2006, 12:06 PM

Ohh you poor thing! Men, can't live with them, can't shoot em! (at least not legally!)

Honestly, I'm so sorry he's done this, we've had situations like this in the past and hubby here knows doing something like that would mean he slept in the barn with his cows until he sold another toy of his to pay for it! You really do have a problem and I hope you can work through it, nothing worse than one spouse sabotaging another.

kj

**Mom23boys** · 06-20-2006, 12:09 PM

I am sorry your DH went behind your back. I hope he sticks to his word and pays the bill. I know you are working hard to get out of debt. I would cut up the card so he can't use it again.

**marei** · 06-20-2006, 12:29 PM

Feel so bad for you when you are tryig so hard. Can you phone and cancel it, if not I would refuse delivery if possible. I wouldn't cut up the credit card just in case you need if for an absolute emergeency. I have a friend who tapes her telephone bill to the back of the mirror on her bedroom dresser until she pays it so her husband won't see it - she loves to talk on the phone - especially long distance. LOL I thought that was a pretty good hiding place, I wouldn't be above telling a lie and say that you cut it up.

**pecunierrant** · 06-20-2006, 01:06 PM

I can understand why you're upset, I would be too. I hope you can get him onto the same path youve been on.

**bee9984** · 06-20-2006, 02:26 PM

Sorry you are going through this hard time right now. Maybe tell your dh that it is time for a good old fashion family meeting.....tell him how you feel and why you feel the way you do and then ask him how he feels and why....tell him what your goals are and ask him what his are and how serious he is in achieving them and let him know how serious you are with achieving your goals......then let him know that his and your goals go as a couple and try to compromise, if he tries to interupt you just tell him nicely that this is something you need to say and that when you are finished you will respect him to have his say without interuption.

All I can do is send you

and hope that it gets better for you. Maybe an alternative would be to just keep one credit card opened for now and get rid of the rest? although I have heard it is better to pay off a card before closing an account as if you close it before it is paid for, you will have no room for any negotiating with that company if later needed. You could always cut up the other ones though without closing those accounts till paid in full.

Anyhow, just a thought

**frugalfarmwife** · 06-20-2006, 02:34 PM

One thing if you're going to have a heart to heart with him on this, my BEST secret is to start these discussions with "I know I'm not perfect either, I have my faults" etc, etc. This really deflates any initial arguments from them

If my hubby ever figures out this tactic I'm In BIG TROUBLE!

**summer breeze** · 06-20-2006, 03:03 PM

Hugs to you.

**MirandaK** · 06-20-2006, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by Katybird

I am sorry that your DH did this to you. Can you return it for a credit to your card when it is delivered? Maybe you can do this before DH even knows it has been delivered, since he did not feel the need to consult with you before ordering it, you can send it back before talking to him. I know that is a bit sneaky but I think the situation warrants it

I second this...wait for that box to arrive and head for the nearest Sears. Then cut up that card...when he has the $$ to pay for it, let him go get it!

I know how frustrating a spouse can be in this type of situation! Hang in there!!!

**miss_thrifty** · 06-20-2006, 04:45 PM

thanks everyone!!! Yeah i wish we were on the same wave lentgh, I finally think Im getting through and bang, he has the wants again, and me trying to put everyhting out on paper to show him Im contributing and showing where evrery cent goes. Tonite we'll have that chit chat, Ill try to be nice, play fair and do the Iknow honey Im not perfect speech, thanks farm wife.
It son its way this thurday, so there wont be time, and he put it o the no interset 6 month thing where he had to pay up front some charge i think its for shipping, i cant remeber, we didi it all for even the stove, washer /stove.. Gotta go, hubby calling lol

**betharoo0** · 06-20-2006, 05:23 PM

I'm sorry, husbands can do crazy things sometimes, but Iam sure you know why you married him

You love him....silly

my husband is a "techie" so i know how you feel
and i know i won't divorce my dh over a palm pilet and i hope you don't over a bbq! have your heart to heart and TRY not to yell and acuse.
with my dh when he brings home these purchases on a whim i lay out ALL the bills my finance book and what he makes and we go OVER it all, and i say see this is why iam upset not because i dont want you to have things
men seem to think we want them to be miserable with nothin, no its just we cant afford every little whim.
my mamma always said when you marry its like getting a tall kid to care for.... sometimes i think she is right! i use to have a joke with my mom, i always told "mom i shoulda been a lesiban" we would laugh ans laugh

**Mamaw** · 06-20-2006, 05:49 PM

My DH acts like a little spoiled boy when I tell him we can not afford something. And of course, he then starts in about the things we do for the children etc....I understand how you feel and believe me you are not alone. Good luck with the heart to heart I am sure you will be having. Hugs

**frugalfarmwife** · 06-20-2006, 11:07 PM

Been thinking about you this evening and BTW, you got my hubby a hug for being so good recently

I told him the story and thanked him for coming so far.

But, we've had one of those months so I DO understand, this month my Popeye as I call him (he OVERPOWERS everything he does!) broke the baler, the disc bine, the rake belt and then blew the radiator on Big Chuck the tractor. But, I had two emergency vet bills on the horses so we're basically even for the month.

Thinking of you, good luck!
kj