Make her go away!!!

**Lady_V** · 09-08-2006, 10:07 AM

Am I the ONLY Mother out there plagued with a child’s classmate mother???

Let me start from the beginning… last year our DD’s were in Kindergarten together. They got along like sisters… meaning they played together and fought constantly. To me, as long as they weren’t ripping out chunks of hair from each other and all limbs were intact, I was staying out of it. Well, the OTHER mother wasn’t.

Each and every time they had a disagreement, she would call me (for hours) to try to figure out what to do about it… When my DD’s birthday rolled around, the mom called me to basically interrogate me as to who will be there and no word of a lie, their sexual orientations. She said she wouldn’t know how to explain a same-gender family to her DD. She even asked what MY sexual preference was! I tolerated her because I love my DD and this woman’s DD was a friend of hers.

Now, here we are, day THREE of the school year and YIPPIE, they are in class together again!!! Can’t you just feel my joy oozing from the monitor??

Apparently yesterday the mom witnessed our DD’s hugging good-bye and when the mom said that it looks as if things are going well between them, the DD started with ‘Oh mom, don’t let that fool you, I don’t like her’.

She cornered me in the hallway and told me what happened. She apologized for her DD’s behavior and wanted to conduct a meeting, right there in the hallway, with our DD’s at our side. My reply to her was, ‘My DD will just wave good-bye to yours’.

As I was walking out, she wanted yet another appointment with me after school to discuss this further…. WHY???

Did I mention they are in FIRST GRADE???? I wrote a note to the teacher (we have a communication log) asking that the DD’s not sit neighboring each other and if it didn’t resolve itself out, to let me know.

After dropping my DD off to school this morning, I saw the other Mom (Did I mention that she lives 1 building away???) I cornered HER for once (hehehe) and told her that if she had anything to discuss, now would be the time since our DD’s weren’t there.

She went in to a sob story about how when she was young, she was unpopular. Okay… and??? We are discussing our DD’s… not our pasts…

I think this woman has some serious depression issues. We are both divorced, we both are ‘not wealthy’; we both have difficult ex-husbands as far as child-rearing. We have a lot in common… we could be friends if it weren’t for some very deep-rooted personal beliefs (I believe to each their own… she believes everyone must be heterosexual or they will burn in hell).

So, we have some major problems there. I am willing to overlook our differences if our DD’s want to be friends. She wants to analyze and scrutinize every detail of her DD’s life. I am a very over-protective mother, but I have limits.

Am I crazy? Am I uncaring? Am I going to throttle this woman the next time I see her? Stay tuned!

Her last words to me as I was driving to my building were… “Maybe our DD’s can play together sometime”

**cheappearls** · 09-08-2006, 11:06 AM

:surprise: Psycho woman. More issues then TV guide right there.

If it were me I would just tell her to get away from me and take her daughter with her. If her daughter doesn't like yours, why have them together at all? That woman needs a hobby.

Good luck.

**Backtoreality** · 09-08-2006, 11:53 AM

After raising 5 children (3 girls), I can tell you that parents should stay out of the kids little squabbles. I only got involved if my DDs asked me to or there was a physical fight. My DDs are not only socially acceptable(LOL), they are three strong, healthy women!

**staceyy** · 09-08-2006, 02:15 PM

With the way she is acting, her daughter will be unpopular also. You might not want your daughter around that much dysfunction.

**frugalfarmwife** · 09-08-2006, 04:04 PM

Now see, that's one of the reasons it's a good thing I don't have kids, I tend to talk before I think and if she was going on about how horrible homosexuality was and I wanted her to leave me alone I'd have told her I was gay. (That is as long as hubby wasn't along

) (Please don't anyone be offended by that, I also have no problem with homosexuality).

Honestly, I'd tell her that meetings are NOT necessary, children work their friendships out on their own, I don't know how many times I fought with my 4 close friends all through grade school but we always worked it out.

kj

**NoDebtMom** · 09-08-2006, 05:38 PM

RUN. Run far away!! I know the type. Avoid. Act busier than you are. You are doing ok by staying out of it. The woman seriously needs to get a life. She is on the path to making her dd wacky by trying to run her little world, make her popular, fix everything.... her dd needs to develop these skills on her own. I would just avoid her, and if she calls, wants a "meeting "(whoa- that's a new one) about what goes on, just play dumb- oh really- ok- well- I have to go- don't know about that... be friendly but don't get sucked in!

**Daisygirl** · 09-08-2006, 06:06 PM

Oh, dear. I hate this stuff. I have only once interefered in my oldest daughter's social life (she nearly killed me, BTW) and it was necessary at the time. This rotten little girl was getting everyone to ostracize her. Hehehe, I fixed her little red wagon, the little brat.....but I digress. I agree - be way to busy to talk to her, and tell her you will try (be sure and say TRY) to call her later. Then just never call, and more than likely she will get the hint. I would also try to encourage your daughter's friendship with other children - invite them over to pla, etc. It will really make your life easier if this kid is NOT your DD's best friend.

Best of Luck. Perhaps wear camoflauge and maybe she won't see you.

**prairie_girl** · 09-09-2006, 02:45 AM

Just tell her you're a lesbian and watch her run away. hehehe. seriously though, that might not be the best idea. but it would be funny!

**MarshHen** · 09-09-2006, 06:03 AM

I feel for you sweetie. I would just be honest with her and tell her how I feel, and if that doesn't work, ignore her. It might backfire on you if you tell her you're gay, LOL.

**ubumartin** · 09-09-2006, 08:20 AM

Very difficult when this happens. I had a similar experience with my oldest. Her friend was VERY NEEDY. To the point that every day she would cry to my daughter about something. My daughter couldn't talk to anyone else, she couldn't sit on the bus with anyone else. My daughter walked on egg shells as to not hurt her feelings but would then come home and cry to me. I finally told her to sit with her sister on the bus. Well you would have thought that I committed the biggest crime. The father called me CRYING! yes the father, and told me how horrible my daughter was. I told him that all the drama was upsetting her and at least if there were issues on the bus with her sister I could deal with them at home. To this day, the father hates me and the mother has kind of come around. The girls are friendly to each other and have many of the same friends and do hang out in groups and occasionally will do things together. They have gotten over it, the father on the other hand can't. This girl still has lots of drama, like I told my daughter, she lives for it and that is just how it is. I always told her to be nice to the girl but she doesnt need to deal with daily drama. It actually worked out for the best. I think my daughter would have been very unhappy for a long time trying to deal with all of this girls issues. My daughter is a good friend to people and helps them with their problems but some people need that constant attention from others, the constant reassuring and it is draining.
Your daughter will probably find new kids to play with and their will be less drama, the mother is going to make this girl unpoppular with the way she handles things. Encourage your daughter to be "friendly" but find new girls to hang out with.

**kymom** · 09-09-2006, 12:07 PM

Oh I feel for you! I have been there myself. I had it with my three daughters. The other mother wanted one of my dd's to be friends with her daughter. It didn't matter which one. She hasseled me for months. Then she took up hasseling my girls. I wouldn't stand for it. So I told her to back off. It never worked. Even went to the school . No help. Finally one day she grabbed my daughters arm. After they picked her up she never bothered my family again lol