Help!!!!

[northernmom2boys]

Here is my dilemma. Between my dh and I there are about 8 nieces and nephews to buy for at Christmas. Every year I kill myself by trying to find the perfect gift. Well this year I am not doing it, too stressful and too expensive. We have tried the gift draw and only have to buy one gift for one child but some ended up buying for all anyway. How do I inform everyone that we are only buying for our children and our parents? I don’t want to offend anybody HELP!!!!!
Would an email be ok?

[Laurie in Bradenton]

I hope you find a way to do this and let the rest of us know. We've tried for years in our family and it never seems to work without lots of hard and hurt feelings.

Laurie in BRadenton

[northernmom2boys]

Doesnt it drive you batty?Its suppose to be a season of goodwill and spending time with family but it always ends up stressfull and expensive lol
I think Im going to bite the bullet and send out an email and hope nobody gets offended

[frugalfarmwife]

I'd email asking what they thought of scaling down the Christmas giving, drawing names etc, tell them this is something that would work better for you. To me Christmas isn't the gifts, it's the time together that should count, we no longer buy for any of our nieces and nephews, their parents/grandparents MORE than make up for it. (can you say spoiled kids?)

kj

[northernmom2boys]

Exactly,I figure half the stuff we buy them probably gets tossed away after a short while. I wish we could get back to more family time.Im trying to teach my kids that its not all about presents.Wish me luck with the emails.

[cheappearls]

I don't think you have to tell anyone that you are only buying for your family. Just send out Christmas cards and if someone asks why there's no presents then they need a lesson on what Christmas is really about. I really doubt anyone with manners would ask.

[PennyPinchinPam]

We avoided this when we first got married we told everyone we wouldn't be exchanging gifts or Christmas cards so in return we don't expect anything. We also didn't have children for the first 8 years of our marraige so that helped people to understand and get into a routine. Then when we had our son the gifts started coming. I explained to my family that my ds appreciated the gifts but they weren't necessary and that if they really wanted to send something then please buy him a savings bond instead of toys (which he didn't need anymore of). Well that worked for one Christmas. LOL! Then the toys started coming again so we gave up, then our dd came. They send gifts knowing we don't send gifts in return. What can I say they are stubborn. LOL! But they have never been offended or upset that we don't do gifts in return. Good luck! I hope your family receives your message well and that they understand. Hopefully some of them will be releived and were afraid to say something too.

[northernmom2boys]

The problem is we all get together at xmas,now if they all have gifts for our kids and we have none then I feel sort of silly and bad.If we didnt see them then it would be ok but we do get together

[autumnlynn]

Personally, I would send out the e-mails. If it has already been decided on that there will be name drawing and no individual gifts, tell them you want this confirmed in advance so there are no misunderstandings or hard feelings. If I child gets one gift each at the party, then that child will have something to entertain him, and in my opinion will appreciate it more.

If it has been decided on in advance, then no one should violate that. It just isn't fair. I live far away from family, and I made it clear that I wouldn't send gifts and didn't want anyone to send them. If someone sends for my children I always thank them, but I don't send back. The reason is that it is so expensive and time consuming.

Please let us know how it works out.

[leela21]

This is really hard!!! I would send the email and ask for a reply so you know what to expect. Kill them with kindness in the email. Something like "we love you all so much it hurts to not be able to lather you with gifts". Maybe at the gathering you could bring a big plate of homemade goodies for the kids and wait to hand them out until everyone is done gift swapping. Say something like "and now for the grand finale-candy!"

[miss_thrifty]

We put stop to alot last year, and i stopped buying for god parents, my parents(I dont talk to them), small gifts for 2 nephews, uncles etc.
Nobody in his side ever listens, inlaws but too much for our kids, i dont like it, suck up time for being crappy grandparents heheh

[marei]

We used to buy for all nieces and nephews and the older they got the harder it got and even though we tried very hard to buy something they would like/use we never knew if they were hitting the mark. A few years ago my sisters and brother all decided to quit buying for the nieces and nephews, we would draw names among the four of us and we set a $50.00 limit and could either buy a $50.00 gift for the house or divide it between the couple. Has worked out great.

[MirandaK]

I have a big family (18 of us) who are all together for the holidays. Of that, there are only 5 kids (including me and I'm freakin' 27! Other ages are 20,18,13,10) Everyone used to buy for everyone. Now we have scaled it down to only buying for the kids. We don't even do a gift exchange among the adults anymore. (The hilarious thing is that when I started college, I was supposed to be an adult and not get gifts from everyone. Then the family decided when I graduated college, I wouldn't get gifts. Then it was when I got married...I've been married 3 years and I still get gifts because I am one of the "kids". DH thinks it's the funniest thing ever.)

We always set the gift giving rules when we are all together at Thanksgiving. That way everyone knows what the plan is for Christmas.

[Lady_V]

hmmm... my first question is... how old are these 8 kids?
If they are infant/toddlers, how well can you sew? I've seen some EASY teddy bear and dog patterns free on-line, stuff them with whatever clean rags/material you have. (cost - $1.00 each)
If they are pre-school... nothing says loving' like playdoh... recipes also available on-line free, you can get the little plastic pails at the dollar tree and decorate them with their names. Toss a few cookie cutters on a ribbon, curl the ribbon... Wallah! (cost - depends on how many you have to make, but next to nothing for the playdoh, cookie cutters cheap... I've made 5 of these for $8)
A little over preschool, but not a 'tween... how about a game? I've seen chess, checkers, dominoes, just about everything at the dollar store.
For the 'tween and teenagers... don't stress... nothing anyone gets them will be what they want, no one is as smart as them. If it's a girl, a journal, some gel pens and stickers ($3), for boys, cologne/aftershave, small shaving cream and razor (OK, not as exciting, but it's an idea and goodness knows, we know where to find the freebies!)
If your family refuses to see your view, I hope this helped. I think to kids, as long as they aren't the only one not opening something.
If all else fails... you can always make them personalized cookies.
Best of Luck!!

[northernmom2boys]

The ages range from 6years to 15.The problem I have too is that these kids are all spoiled rotten.My one sil only has one girl and I swear she is the most spoiled child on the earth.I dont buy large expensive gifts,so every year you can see the look on my sil face when her daughter opens the gift,its like ''oh you only bought that'' I just dont want to do it this year.My dh said last night well start shopping now so its not such a rush and I was like but its still expensive and I dont know what to buy lol
I think I will mention it to my mil an she will probably pass the info on,shes better than the pony express lol
I am such a pushover that after all of this worrying over how to break it to everyone I will probably end up buying everyone gifts,
spending too much money then venting about that lolol
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP
Michelle