Did/does your income determine your family size?

[littlemotherhaywood]

Now aside from the unplanned (but well loved and appreciated children) did your income play a role in your decision to have/not have kids or more kids? When we had our son we thought we would have another baby by now and our circumstances have just changed so much since his birth. We bought a lot of our baby stuff with the intention that another child would use it. I packed away two huge totes of girl and boy baby clothing thinking I would once again have another little one to dress. Now, here we are two and half years later and half the income facing some pretty tough choices. In the attic is all of that "baby" stuff that I wonder if I should keep or try to sell for the extra cash. The older it gets, the more outdated and worth less it becomes because more and more people are already selling some of the same items we have. With two children I have the time to volunteer for activities and we can have just a three bedroom house. I know they could share a room but they are four and a half years apart and at each other's throats all of the time. I just can't see them sharing being a long term thing if you kwim. We'll never need a bigger car. I just can't help but think that a third child would cost us quite a bit and obviously now we're not in a position to raise a third child the way we would want to. I know that our situation now isn't permanent and that the option is always open. I was just wondering how other people decided what was best for their family.

[Missy]

I was kind of forced into stopping where we are. See, I don't dialate and therefore need to deliver via c-section. Last c/s i had a heart attack on the table and although we had decided on a tubal already, that was the "Yup, good choice" moment we needed to be sure that a tubal was really the best option for us.

And looking at the reality of it, we couldt afford a larger home/car/etc with our current income. Even if it bumped up we would need help. So I figure God blessed us with the three we have and the ability to care for them properly as we are now.

[littlemotherhaywood]

Oh my goodness, that must have been so scary for you. Yes, I believe we are always given the answers we need to know our choices are right, but I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope all is well for you now.

[many houseapes]

When dh & i started our family..we didn't have much at all...dh worked at a gas station(jobs were scarce then) I stayed home. That was 1985. At first we felt that we should let our finances dictate the size of our family(I had a tubal after #5 was born...and had it reversed 3 yrs later)...but the more we prayed about this, and as time went on...we saw God doing wonderful things.Dh was able to go back to school without having student loans, our smallest needs were being met...somehow God provided everything.Although times are still tight,we have decided to let God be who he is and just trust him and not ourselves. We now have 10 children and I am resolved...if He wants us to have more children that's fine...if He says no more...then that's okay too.
One thing that I have learned with having my tubes tied(then reversed)...It is not a good thing to make long term decisions based on my current situation. Things change...sometimes things change sooner than what is realized.
Not trying to be preachy...just sharing what life has taught me...sure hope this helps.

[peanut]

We did. Dh is a professional in a low paying profession. I knew what his income would cap out at (I grew up down the street from a family whose father was in that profession). In fact, it's reached about two thirds that. He's now 54 and the kids are grown.

I had an idea of the amount of stress I could handle, with kids, and knew it meant only part-time work for me. Both my first kids were special needs - kind of... One was an extremely fast paced learner and the other had health issues and was extremely gifted too. I couldn't handle any more children and part-time work. As it was, people were refusing to babysit my youngest because of her health issues. Without a babysitter we were left to rely on dh's relatively low income. That meant no more kids.

On top of that, the school was talking a special needs class for the youngest, who would in no way be challenged by the course content. We were already seeing behaviour problems in both children related specifically to the school situation. Our only recourse to ensure they were challenged intellectually was homeschooling. That meant no income from me. We stopped at two.

[kabin63]

No. Finances did not dictate, but my hubby all ready had 3. So, he has four and said no more.

[starsapphire]

Income did not determine my family size. By the time I had my first and only, I realized what a rotten bastage my first husband was. I was determined not to have any more children with him and I didn't. By the time I left him and got my life together again, I realized I didn't want any more children. My (now) husband has one son who will be 18 next month. He doesn't want any more either. So I have one daughter, 3 beautiful grandkids one stepson and one unofficial stepdaughter (DH's son's sister - she has a different dad, but thats his sister and thats good enough for us )

[ScrapMama]

Not at this moment in our life. We have 4 children and dh is in an industry where he can continue to make more money. I'm planning on going back to school next fall for my LCSW, which will take me 2 years, the low paying wage in that field in our area is $72,000 per year. We plan on having one more child, but either while I'm halfway through schooling or already done. I had only planned on going back to school part-time.

[Emerald_Mommy]

I don't think our finances have "dictated" our family choices. This new baby is kind of a surprise but only in the sense that he/she is a coming a little sooner than we had "planned." We don't want to be irresponsible but we've always been able to provide for ourselves and our family. Three kids is already going to be a lot in some people's eyes but we're thinking we probably want 5, when all is said & done. Now, that doesn't mean I want them all really soon! But we'll see how it goes and how we feel God is leading. I can't imagine life without my girls, no matter what "squeeze" they put on our budget!

[Jill B.]

What actually determined how big our family was that I have always needed to work, at least part-time. It was so stressful with 3 kids at home and DSD coming on weekends. I felt that I never got time off. I worked at work and I worked at home.

I did want more but just wanted to be a SAHM and that wasn't going to happen. So, yes, finances did play a role in the number of kids we had.

[my4littlebuffaloes]

I think it has played a part in my dh's decision. We have 4. Dh only wanted 2, I wanted 5. We agreed on 3. #4 was a surprise and then dh got a vasectomy. I would love more, as many as God would provide us with. Dh just doesn't think we can handle it. Money is one of the factors. Stress level is another. Time with each child is another. I am happy with 4, but would love more.

And I have to say that as the kids get older, the clothes get more expensive, they eat a lot more food, shoes get more expensive, things crop up like ds needing glasses and braces, 1 child has health issues and sensory integration disorder. These things all cost money, which does make it hard. We have never said no to having another child strictly because of money, but it is one of many factors that everyone has to consider.

littlemotherhaywood, just because now wouldn't be a great time, doesn't mean in 1 year won't work out. Just because now isn't the time, don't think it is forever and give up your dream of another. Just take it one day at a time.

jennifer

[AmyMCGS]

Finances didn't make us decide, but medical complications did. My doctor came out of the delivery room with my son (my second emergency c-section) and told my husband 1.) the baby & I were fine, we must have guardian angels and 2.) that I'd nearly died and that we should not be having any more children. The next day, the doctor told me the same thing... he emphasized that I'd likely not survive another pregnancy. I wanted more children, but I guess it's not meant to be.

[northernmom2boys]

I think they did make us decide to only have two but also our lifestyle.Two is a good number for us,now if another was to come into our lives then it wouldnt be the end of our world,but we arent planning on anymore.I have come ot realize that they are small but very very expensive.

[Darlene]

Yes, finances did play a part. Having me home with the kids was something that was very important to our family. We could afford to raise only 2 children on my husbands income, so that's what we did.

[littlemotherhaywood]

Thanks ladies for all of your responses.