My son is gone

[danni]

He's been picking fights with everyone in the house and being completely miserable for a few months now, he finally told me he wanted to go live with his dad.
I left hid dad when I was 7 months pregnant with him, and 3 months after David was born his dad disappeared(he didn't want to pay $200/mth in child support). We never heard from him until 2 yrs ago when David turned 13 and since then he's been trying to get to know them again.
I think David really needs a chance to know his dad because he hasn't had any male influence except my dad, but I miss him!!!! We took him up there on sunday so he's only been gone a few days but everytime I think about him I start crying.

[Cricket1]

Oh that's so heart wrenching. What a great mom you are though, to realize how important a man is in his life. I have nothing to say, but sending big your way.

[celina]

my best friend went through the exact same thing...she let him go cause that yearning he had wouldnt go away....and he wouldnt have run off in the night eventually...stayed there about 18months and now he's back home..and he really grew up he saw how great it was to be mothered..

[Darlene]

I'm sorry. Big Mom to Mom hug. This isn't a you've been a "bad" Mom it's just he needs to see what's what with his "dad". This isn't the end of your relationship, just a little change for a little while. Have faith.

[Michelle]

Stay strong.

[Persimmon Lace]

Sometimes they just need to know what it's like on the other side. It's so hard, my dsis wouldn't let go of her son to live with his dad even though he made her life miserable. Now she sees that it would have been good for him to go for awhile. It's so hard but hopefully he'll "see" the truth of things and be grateful for all you've done.

[PrairieRose]

Aaawww I know it's hard Hopefully he'll see how loving his home was after a while and come back to you and be happy to be there.

[banana]

Sending you a big hug!

[dmvezina]

I know exactly what you are going through!!! My 18 yr old dd did the same thing just a couple of months ago. For about 6 months now, at least, my dd was miserable, she mistreated everyone in the house, etc. She moved out three times, the 3rd time the state police forced our hand into taking her back. Within a week she was threatening to commit suicide to her sister right in front of her if she didn't do what dd wanted right at that moment. Two days later I had her on a plane to Florida to her dad's. We live in NH, so this was not an easy thing for me. As awful as she was being I of course still love her. I cried & cried for days upon end. It does get a little easier. I do still miss her very much but do talk to her almost every day. I think we're sort of building a better, different relationship now. Although her attitude & behaviors haven't changed any since she moved to her dad's. THAT makes the whole a tad bit easier for me. But, I know on Christmas morning I'm going to break!! She has been here every Christmas morning with me all her life! And I know that being 18 she would move out on her own eventually anyways. She is still in high school too by the way. So that moving out on her own still would have been a bit away. It's tough! I think being a parent today is so much harder than it was for our parents.
If you need to chat, pm me!!! I just wanted you to know that I completely understand how you feel and that it does get a little easier. I struggle every day on whether or not I did the right thing in letting her go to her dad's. But, she does sound a little happier there than she did here. HUGS!!!!

[Tracy]

Sending you big hugs

[nuisance26]

~Oh this must be so hard on you! ***HUGS*** My younger brother had a very rough time at this age also. I hope you ex can be the kind of influence and support your son needs right now.~

[crazyBMB]

My heart goes out to you.

[ama]

That is a tough situation to go through. Big hugs to you and the rest of the gals but I agree. Sometimes they have to see what life is really like to change their attitudes.

[wanderinggrandma]

How come kids don't come with an instruction manual?? It would make it soo much easier. Remember you are doing what you feel is the best for your son and keep busy.

[danni]

Thanks for all the support and hugs. I know he needs to do this but its still so hard to know he's not going to be home soon. I am trying to keep busy and when I do think about it I tell myself that maybe he'll mature and that I should enjoy the fact that there is less fighting.