I feel overwhelmed with fear and sadness!

**brenda67** · 03-05-2007, 01:51 PM

My Dad stopped here last night (my only living parent ) and I was asking him questions on how he has been feeling..a little background about my Dad he is 58yrs old and had a Heart attact close to 4yrs ago he was told by the Dr that after fixing the one artery that he had another clogged at 80% and the Dr's comment was why fix something that isn't broken... Dad also is a diabetic, has high blood pressure,high cholesterol and is over weight in his belly..well for the past month he has been telling me that he has weakness in his one arm and it was from what he thought was a pulled muscle so I told him you really need to see your Dr maybe it's not a pulled muscle? He is a boneheaded German and said it's just a pulled muscle period..Anyway he was sitting here telling me that he had really bad chest pain Sat night and he's pretty sure it was a slight heart attack..Hello...why didn't you call me or call an ambulance??? then if thats not bad enough he tells me that Sun afternoone he takes his shoes off and both legs from the knee down are swollen and rock hard...I told him he can't put it off anymore that his swollen legs is probably heart related or he might have a blood clot...He refuses saying that he needs to work another 700 hrs so his insurance is good for another year (he is an operating engineer in the Union) and that he needs at least 2 months of bills paid in advance so when he goes in for surgery he will be set for that time..I told him he is playing with his life and I begged him to please do it now not wait for another couple of months..

So this morning I called him on his cell to beg him to go see the Dr that he won't make it another couple of months he needs to go now.. He tells`me I know I'm gonna have another Heart attack that his urine is a dark yellow and has constant loose stools among the other signs I mentioned all previous signs of his last Heart attack and his vision is blurred..I told him that Dh and I have enough money and available credit to see him through this..he declines and still insists that he needs to work at least another 6 weeks..He also told me if he died he wouldn't change anything in his life and if he had a stroke and couldn't talk on what I need to do to take over his estate..I'm starting to feel the pain like he's already dead..I know I've done everything I can on my part but I just want to scream and cry cause I know that something really bad is gonna happen and I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to handle whatever happens..I know that my father has his mind set and theres no changing it...He is not trying to upset me if anyone is thinking it..he only told me caused I nag him other wise I wouldn't know anything..I'm sure there is more that he's not telling me too...Thanks for listening and just letting me get it all out..

**thriftstorequeen** · 03-05-2007, 02:00 PM

I'll be praying for you and your Dad.

**brenda67** · 03-05-2007, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by thriftstorequeen

I'll be praying for you and your Dad.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart....

**Missy** · 03-05-2007, 02:07 PM

Sounds hard! I am so sorry! Big hugs to you, your dad and you are in my prayers

**autumnlynn** · 03-05-2007, 02:07 PM

Sending prayers for you and your dad. If you would like, I will add him to our church's prayer chain. Just need to know his first name.

**FrugalMomof3** · 03-05-2007, 02:08 PM

I too will be praying for you and your father, God Bless and take it easy.

**Neeley** · 03-05-2007, 02:16 PM

We will be sure to keep you all in our prayers and thoughts.

**Darlene** · 03-05-2007, 02:17 PM

I'm so sorry. I lost a father who didn't take care of himself (had all the signs of a heart attack and ignored them)he died at age 41 and left behind a wife and 5 kids the oldest being me at age 13. I so feel your pain and frustration. If only he (my Dad)knew that things would have been fine money wise, we would have found a way but to have him not there in our lives was the cruelest loss of all.
I hope your Dad lets you help him. Can you call his doctor and enlist his help?

**pip** · 03-05-2007, 02:33 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I pray that he will realize that he needs to seek medical attention now. I pray that you will find comfort somehow.

**Cricketlegs** · 03-05-2007, 02:37 PM

I'll be thinking of you and your dad!

**northernmom2boys** · 03-05-2007, 02:38 PM

Im so sorry you are going through this.Your father will be in my prayers

**banana** · 03-05-2007, 02:53 PM

I'm soo sorry to hear that you are going through this. I will keep you and your father in my thoughts and prayers. I am praying that everything works out well for him and that he seeks medical attention soon. Take Care.

**brenda67** · 03-05-2007, 03:46 PM

Originally Posted by Darlene

I'm so sorry. I lost a father who didn't take care of himself (had all the signs of a heart attack and ignored them)he died at age 41 and left behind a wife and 5 kids the oldest being me at age 13. I so feel your pain and frustration. If only he (my Dad)knew that things would have been fine money wise, we would have found a way but to have him not there in our lives was the cruelest loss of all.
I hope your Dad lets you help him. Can you call his doctor and enlist his help?

OMG...All I can do is cry reading your post.. you do know how I feel..I thank you for sharing your hardship with me((HUGS))..I know you and your family must of went through hell especially all of you being so young...All I can do is pray that my Dad makes the right choice so myself and my brothers don't have to face what the near future has to bring us..

**brenda67** · 03-05-2007, 03:47 PM

Thanks everyone for your kindness and prayers..My Dads name is Hank..

**Darlene** · 03-05-2007, 03:50 PM

Can you talk to his doctor and enlist his help? Time for an intervention with all of you and anyone else who cares for him to face him together. Sounds like he may be depressed too. Big big hugs.