What am I saying wrong?

**Dancing Lotus** · 05-09-2007, 12:39 PM

I dont understand. I have always been an easy person to get along with. Im pretty quite and I tend to be the peace keeper. But for some reason ever since I joined the on-line word I keep offending people. I dont think I know how to type what I feel.

I am on a coupon train- it a new train that has only been running for three weeks. The first two weeks I recieved nothing but I kept sending mine anyway. The third week I recieved a gaint envie with couponos but it got torn up in the mail. Most of the coupons were useless.

I sent the person who sent the envie to me this email.
Dear -----
I got your envy and it was torn in the mail. It was sealed in a plastic bag. I dont think regular envie are good when you are sending that many coupons.

Im not sure Im going to keep doing . Its not worth the cost of shipping.

Its not word for word but close to what I wrote.
The two statements were not intended to have anything to do with the other and i later sent her another email that explained that I was very happy with the amount of coupons she sent and my thoughts of leaving had nothing to do with her.I was jsut makeing chit chat.

She then sent an email to the person in charge and told her she was leaving the train and atached my email with hers. So in other words she was pissed off at my email. I explained myself but I guess she still didnt understand.

Now Im sick to my stomack becuase I think I hurt this persons feelings and I dont know what to do. I always seam to be makeing this types or mistakes!
Would you have felt the same way she did or is she just being over sensitive?

**itsahumanzoo** · 05-09-2007, 12:55 PM

I have the same problem. I tend to be very blunt when typing something to someone, and I'm always afraid it will come off as mean. You could write her an apology, just explaining that you didn't mean to sound rude or mean, you were just letter her know what happened.

What I always do is add lots of silly faces to my messages so they can't possibly be taken serious! Haha.

**Ceashels** · 05-09-2007, 01:01 PM

Perhaps her feelings wanted to be hurt? You are not responsible for how other people feel. THEY ARE!

I don't think there was a problem with what you wrote. If this person chooses to not participate in the coupon train because someone offered her feedback on how she forwarded a rather bulky envelope... then she needs to grow up some.

If you didn't provide feedback then others would be receiving the same torn up worthless coupons as you did. And you may just have done someone else a big favor! You'll just never know.

**sixfreds** · 05-09-2007, 02:43 PM

Okay here is what I think, I think if I got that email I might be upset too.
Maybe all she can afford are regular envelopes and she did the best she could and here you are telling her her best isn't good enough for you.

I will add that I am usually the one who gets hurt, my mother-in-law said to me she was moving to FL (we live in NH she was living in MA) to be with her grandchildren and when I said you have grandchildren here said well those are YOUR kids and since my daughter had the ones that live in FL she loves them more (my kids are fathered by her son) and to this day she can't imagine why I am upset, she was just saying what she thought what is wrong with that??
So some people are sensitivie (like myself) and I take things people say personally and it does hurt eben if it is just a little thing it can hurt as much.

Eileen

**Missy** · 05-09-2007, 02:44 PM

it's hard when posting messages. So much of our communication is visual. Gestures, facial expression, eye movements...all are just as much of conversation as the words themselves. While internet allows us to get our words across it doesn't always let us have conversations as we'd meant them. Feelings get hurt, unintentionally of course. I hope that this gets smoothed over soon. Hugs!

**FrugalMomof3** · 05-09-2007, 04:03 PM

If it's bothering you so much maybe you can send her an apologetic email explaining that you didnt mean to come off rude or angry.

I too tend to get angry or upset very fast by what people write or even say, sometimes the people who say it dont even realize that what they said is harmful or hurtful.

**Dancing Lotus** · 05-09-2007, 04:12 PM

Thats the thing I did send her an appology and I told her word for word that I was totaly excited about all the coupons. I was as sweet as pie. I am also a person that gets hurt easy. I often think someone is being rude or mean when in fact they are not. I just dont understand why she would "tell" on me even after my appology. I feel like this is all "high school" drama, and Im the one who looks bad.

It makes me feel terrible and I do worry about hurting someone. Im the type of person that will hang out with someone I dont even like becuase I dont want to hurt them.

**tbs727** · 05-09-2007, 04:25 PM

Sometimes our true meanings just don't come through online, just like Missy said. You've done what you can in apologizing, so you've done your part and you can move on. The only suggestion I would make is maybe to read over your messages to see if anything could be misunderstood. I think it's enough that you care that you might have hurt someone's feelings. That shows you are a caring person.