~*RANT/VENT*~ How Do I Rid Myself of the Ex?

**Libby** · 05-13-2007, 06:44 PM

I honestly don't know where to begin....I know I could've put this in the 'Family'/'Relationship' forum but to me that doesnt seem appropriate. But I don't see a forum for 'how to push people out of your life'.

As many of you members who've been here a while know I've had nothing but trouble and angst with my ex and now I thought I was home free. For those who don't know - it was a nasty break up. I left him and mighty high and dry if I do say so myself. Immediately after he 'scored' another gf and that suited me fine. No more having to listen to him whine, complain, put me down or beg. I was home free!

I had about 4 months to myself and loved it totally until I got swept off my feet by my current bf. I never knew relationships were supposed to be or could be 'this easy' if you will. I take each day as it comes and go with the flow.

But as of April I'd get a text message here and one there from my ex. I'd see that I had missed a call and it was the ex. But I ignored it and brushed it off for he's the type that would take the 1/4" and run with it thinking we're on the road to recovery. No reaction is best is what I thought and I still do think that.

Im guessing his gf left him or they broke up or he's realized she's nothing like me. I know who his new gf is and to be honest, they're a match made in heaven! They actually 'deserve' each other if you will. But now the phone calls and text messages are coming faster and sometimes multiple times in the same day.

The last message was sent last evening saying "I NEED to know if you've been talking about me to others" (1) What business is it of his whom I speak with and of which subject matter (2) He has no right to know or even ask (3) I dont have to and never have answered to him.

Again no reaction is best. But its getting to me. He doesn't know or see this but his childish behaviour is going to cause me to snap, which is giving him power b/c he's getting a reaction. Its make me boil inside and its going to start affecting me and the current bf which totally isnt fair to him. He keeps telling me that its not my fault but in a way deep down I feel it is. This crap that keeps happening to me signifys that I have not ended things with the ex or done it properly.

But what more can I do?

I have been contemplating changing my cell # and pray that he doesn't revert back to calling my dad's landline and disturbing him to get to me. (If he sends text messages there's no gaurantee that I'm getting them and I don't have voicemail so there's really no confirmation that this is even my phone # right? I refuse to answer phone #'s I dont know.) AND I'm afraid that now he's going to be adamant on speaking to me and show up at my place of work or better yet at my doorstep, in which case I would totally start the paperwork of a restraining order. I mean how thick can a skull really be? I've said it point blank that there's nothing left to 'US' and there will never be. I do not wish to speak him anymore and told him not to contact me. See how far that got me?!

Any advice on what to do here ladies? Any tips? Frugal or not?

Im at my wits end and I really don't know what I should do or where to start. My life has moved on for the better and I need to get rid of this dead weight *trying* to pull me down.

I JUST WANT HIM GONE!!!
(Thanks for taking the time to read this ladies)

**Hollyhandi** · 05-13-2007, 06:50 PM

Could you do both and change both lines. ( cell and your dads landline)
File harassement papers maybe?
Good Luck Shorty and hope you get peace soon.

**annymoll** · 05-13-2007, 07:19 PM

I would just change the number if I couldn't block the calls. Otherwise I would continue to ignore his messages, would delete them without even reading them.He should tire of it if you do not respond.If not, you can take the next legal step.

**mikandmari** · 05-13-2007, 09:15 PM

This happened to me (very similar). I contacted him ~one time~, to tell him not to contact me ever again, or I would call the police and get a restraining order.

I was very nice about it, told him I wished him the best in life, but that I had moved on. He still got nasty and hung up on me, but he's the type who wants no trouble with the law, so he never contacted me again.

Of course, this was a few years back, we didn't have the luxury of text messaging at the time. Text messaging may be better.

You may feel a little bad, afterwards, but trust me... the feeling will pass

. Then I promise it will be okay to feel a little self-righteous for giving him what he deserved

**Cricket1** · 05-13-2007, 09:36 PM

I think that you should do what you're doing. Ignore him. You're right--he doesn't know if you're getting the messages or not. If he comes by, tell him nicely that you'll get a restraining order, etc.

If that doesn't work--send him over to Missy and her empty recliner. She'll get rid of him!!!

**emily_hope** · 05-13-2007, 09:41 PM

(((HUGS))) I know exes can be a bother. I think you are doing the right thing by ignoring him. Hopefully he will tire of his game and go away or latch on to some other girl. Try not to let it disrupt your life.

**Lady Jennelle** · 05-13-2007, 10:10 PM

I don't get it with guys when you say to leave you alone and yet they persist in being a pain. Grrr!

I'm soon to be divorced and thankfully have only run into my soon to be ex one time in the past 2 years since I booted him out.

After many drunken phone calls from him, I think I finally got my point across and he didn't call again [of course I also got my number changed not too long after so that may have helped. *lol*]

I wish him nothing but good but also wish him to leave me alone and actually he has except that I found out yesterday that he's been asking a friend of his who lives in my building about me.

Ugh ... doesn't he get it - I want nothing to do with him. Period!

Anyways, honey if I were you and he keeps it up - I'd make it plain that if he keeps it up that you will be getting harrassment charges filed against him.

Also, getting your number changed sure couldn't hurt.

Good luck with getting things straightened out.

*Hugs*

Love,

Jennelle

**nwmissourigal** · 05-13-2007, 10:41 PM

I am so sorry you are having to go thru this. I think that ignoring him is the right thing to do. But if it does continue I would really thing about a restraining order. I truly wish you the best in the issue that's in your life right now...Blessings....Kathy

**autumnlynn** · 05-13-2007, 11:52 PM

I know what you mean about ex's being a pain. I totally think the best thing to do is ignore him. He will eventually get tired of it. I think no reaction from you is the best.

**ktsmama** · 05-14-2007, 09:33 AM

My ex did the same thing to me. I tried my best to ignore his calls and texts, but finally I had had enough. I called him and politely told him that I wanted him to stop calling or contacting me. I even went to far as to "invent" a story and told him that I had talked to police several weeks ago and at their suggestion every time he called or texted I would go by the police department and they would take the info off of my phone and notate it in my file. I told him that this information was accessible by my lawyer should I need any of the info. This stopped him in his tracks.

Hope everything works out for you!!

**tigo** · 05-14-2007, 10:34 AM

I am in the same boat- the ex is an idiot and a psycho. He demands I start divorce proceedings (I was in no hurry as I don't intend to get married again any time soon) then starts sending all these gifts and love letters. Mind you, the last gf I caught him with has been intro'd to the kids and so on while he is doing this. I don't reply, don't answer his calls/texts/emails. I do let SO see them so he can get a chuckle out of it. He has heard all the ranting and raving about what a horrible wife/mother I am and all the gooyey sappy letters. I think of it like a 2 yo's tantrums, ignore them and eventually they will stop.

**Ceashels** · 05-14-2007, 10:48 AM

I vote with continued ignoring of the texts and messages. If he does show up where you are at, politely tell him you are heading to the police department to get a restraining order. Most times this is enough. If he does call your dad's line then let your dad rip him a new one and get a restraining order.

I required the local domestic violence department to help me get my keys back from an ex. Having them pull up in his drive infront of the house was priceless. I also told him with the cop as my witness that if he ever contacts me at home or work I would pursue harrassment charges. It worked.

I wish you luck in this. It is behavior that is not appropriate to any individual with a greater than 3rd grade developmental level.

**Libby** · 05-14-2007, 07:10 PM

Thanks for all the input ladies, Im VERY glad to know Im not alone in my thoughts here. *BIG HUGGLES TO Y'ALL!*

It still eats at me that Im giving in and going to change my phone #but its for the best right? I just wish my ex would grow up/act his age and realize that its over and he cant change squat.

On a brighter note, it will only cost me about $15 + taxes to get my phone reprogrammed to change the #. I need to call back and speak to a diff rep about it as this one didnt seem very insightful nor fully understand what I was asking about.

Im one step closer to freedom! God give me strength to survive the week before another sneak attack slips in and

!

**Missy** · 05-14-2007, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by Cricket1

If that doesn't work--send him over to Missy and her empty recliner. She'll get rid of him!!!

It's what I do. It's a service. I'm a giver.

LOL

Good luck I think changing your number and stating that you (and your dad if you want to get down to it) will charge him with harassment or a restrainign order if he continues.