Being frugal,trying to do it all and letting go!
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  1. #1
    Registered User MANDERS's Avatar
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    Default Being frugal,trying to do it all and letting go!

    Well august was just a humdinger and I have decided that next august I am sleeping the whole month.I found myself loosing everything I have learend about frugality and simplicity.I didn't think one family could eat out that often or gain that much weight in one month.I found myslef drying clothes,buying conveince foods with out coupons ,eating out more,and giving in to Jason wanting new computer equipment.I found myself fighting with Jason's sister and his mother and then finally with him.Then finally it hit me.I can't do it all,i thought I could but I can't.i don't know if it was that I am so much younger than everyone i know and I thought I had to prove something and try to measure up.

    So Monday Jason and I had a huge fight(more like a break threw for me)that lasted 4 hrs and I was crying the whole time.I woke up the next morning with a head cold(probably from all the crying)decided to take a 3 hr nap with Cannon and not answer the phone all day untill my best friend called on the aswering maching and wanted to know if i was still alive.I finaly picked up Lauren at school and came home and played witht the kids.Then It was quiet time or inother words alone time and time for mommy to sit donw and get real with dr phil. OH lord is that man wonderful the show was about money and how it is the leading cause of divorce.I felt like the men on the show not the women.I was the controler and never realized Jason resented me for controlling the money he brought home.So finally I came up with a buget along with Jason that works for everyone.And i have come to realize that we are closer to our dreams than we realize and that life is way to short to worry about if every load of laundry i do from now till the day i die is being hung.I figured out that it didn't matter if i saved a lot of money on groceries if no one was going to eat it.I thought being frugal was one way or the high way but its not and the way I go about it should meet my families and mine's needs not anyone elses.

    Then it all quickly came together,I found out hey i don't have to answer every phone call or go to every birthday party or baby shower.I can have it all and still pick and choose what i do and don't do.And that if I am sick and tired of hearing everyones complaints about the same thing that i am the one who chooses to listen to it and only i can put a stop to it by not listening to it.And so what if they get mad,I'm not here to make people outside my house happy but to make my family (dh,dd and ds and my self)happy

  2. #2
    Registered User MANDERS's Avatar
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    OK I didn't read this until i posted it.Wow it feels so good to let that all out.I guess simplicity for me is jsut being with my family and making them happy.Untill this past week i didn't realize how much time i put in outside my family with phone calls,birhtday parties etc.It felt real good to vent

  3. #3
    Registered User bmiltimore's Avatar
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    Amanda, it sounds like you finally found what is "simplicity" for you! That is great!

    I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. I spent so much time complaining to DH about the people who do stuff to make me mad. The key is, if I let it upset me, then I am wasting my time on their problems. It is hard, but once you separate yourself and don't get sucked into the drama, life seems a lot simpler.

    Life is short and it is about what makes you and your immediate family happy. Right now my world consists of DH and me...anything outside of that is a choice I make. I can choose to enjoy life and be productive, or chose to be around toxic people who are only energy drainers.

    Well said, Amanda!!

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    Registered User mustang80's Avatar
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    Good for you Amanda! You're young to have figured it out already. Some of us thirty-something folks are just starting to scratch our heads!

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    Good for you, thats what inner simplicity is all about. Not keeping up with everyone else. Frugality is a state of mind that many go overboard with and others live frugally so that they can live!!

    Yes I hang out clothes and bake from scratch but we just went into debt by the tune of $42,000 for a brand new van. I've learnt to let go of what others think and enjoy life. I purchase top quality 100% cotton at quilting stores only to do my quilting. It doesn't bother me what others think. I'm doing it for me and for my family.

    One thing I've learnt over the past couple of years is life is very short and to enjoy it to the max. Richard Carlson wrote a great little book called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, its all Small Stuff which really opened by eyes to living simply.

    We don't have to follow in the footprints of others when it comes to frugality/homesteading/inner simplicity. What we do have to do it learn what is comfortable for us and our family. I'm proud of you for finding that out at your age. It took me years to figure it all out.

    Inner simplicity is making the most out of life that we possibly can and enjoying it to the max. Always remember, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone but YOU!

    Way to go!!!

  6. #6
    Registered User PrairieRose's Avatar
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    Yeah what Homestead Mamma said! I agree. As we get a little older we realize that it REALLY doesn't matter at all about what others think of us, it only matters what WE think of ourselves. It makes us feel good to do the best we can for our family and friends but sometimes you just have to draw the line. There are family members and friends who never seem to see the "limit" and you have to kindly show it to them. I love what I do, spending my time on my family and home and I really prefer not to be involved in every little event in our community. I'm not anti- social but I can see how this stuff robs you of the time you want/need to do a few things for yourself and your family. It's all about picking and choosing. Hang in there girlfriend, it gets much easier, with time.

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    FV Buddy aka Kellie Bob Jerseygirl's Avatar
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    Amanda--good for you! I wish I had the maturity to come to the same conclusions about my life, I envy you for having that moment.

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    Registered User aylasmommy's Avatar
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    That is a great for you!

    I have been feeling stressed out trying to make it to our budget..and then it dawned on me that I'm just trying to limit our spending just to SEE if it can be done and that I don't really need to deprive my huband of certain things

    I am glad you were able to make a budget that works for you and Jason

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    Registered User MANDERS's Avatar
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    Thank you all for the great replies.Oh I have been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember,I remember being in 7th grade and trying for positions for chairs for band and I wanted one of the top 5.Well I pushed and pushed till i got it perfect and ended up getting first chair.LOL then half way threw the year I dropped band cause it wasn't ''cool''.It has also been hard for me to say no to people.I feel like i will make them mad.But now I've come to realize it doesn't matter if they are mad or not.I tell you what dh loves the new budget and me not being on the phone everytime he walks in the door and actualy having time for MY family cause that is why I chose to stay home.THank you again

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    Althought I've already posted I'm posting again. Way to go!!

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