I need some advice on this matter:-)

**Precious26** · 06-22-2007, 02:49 PM

Good Afternoon to all you ladies,

you always have such great advice towards any subject I thought you would be the perfect solution to my dilemma:

As of next month I am the Maid of Honor for a friend's wedding that I have known for 17years now that is a very long time. When it comes to the gift what amount should be expected for me to spend? I looked at her wedding Registry and some of it is pricey what do you suggest considering the following is involved with this whole thing I don't want to go into debt because of any gift nor do I want to break the bank because of other priorities like vacation in November, College course for September, and saving for my own wedding for next year. I am in no way trying to be cheap but it just seems to be alot more than it actually should.

1. MOH Gown was on sale for $90.00, unfortunately it's plenty too big so I have to get alterations done at this point I am still very unsure what that's going to cost. Luckily I don't have to buy shoes because, I already have a pair in my closet that would work perfectly(so happy). Sorry ladies I don't sew and it would be much easier for me to use a professional considering I have other things on the go.

2. The up do for the event is going to be $70 including the tip for the stylist.
3. Travelling expenses I live three hours a way there is two tanks of gas that's $120(Travel time for the bachalorette is also included) that is based upon there and back for two sessions.
4. The hotel for one night before the wedding is going to be $180 between 4 girls will be $45 for my portion. At the same time my family lives in the same place, but than I would possibly miss out on all the fun. For the rest of the weekend I am staying with my parents considering they enjoy my company and I am their daughter LOL.

5. The Bachalorette from what I know we might be going bowling but I really couldn't tell you at this point what this may cost considering another bridesmaid and myself are planning this weekend.

Any of your suggestions would be absolutely wonderful. I appreciate all the help I can get from you wonderful people at the village.

Sincerely,

Jeanette

**Missy** · 06-22-2007, 03:02 PM

To be honest I think she's just gonna be so happy you are there for her wedding and standing with her as her maid of honor. I don't think she'll be uspet in the least with a small token of love. I don't spend more than 20.00 as a rule. But that's me. Good luck.

**Izzy0906** · 06-22-2007, 03:07 PM

I just recently was in my girlfriends wedding whom I've been friends with for over 20 years. It was in Kentucky (I'm in NJ) I had to buy the dress (around $120), luckily also had shoes to match, pay for alterations $30, hotel room was paid for by brides parents, plane ticket was $50 (she's a flight attendant and her now husband a pilot so we all got buddy passes), and let's not forget the $155 I put out for the bachelorette party and the $117 I put out for the shower. I gave her $30. Normally I give around what it costs the bride/groom per person for the wedding (fancy place I"ll give about $40/person if I bring someone, more casual place $25/person.) I would say in your situation $25 would be appreciated and maybe even unexpected.

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 06-22-2007, 03:10 PM

Sounds like you're already doing so much. If it were me, I'd just be happy to have you there! How about a wedding memories book that she could fill out? You could even start it... That's something she could even pass on to her future children...

Let us know how it goes.

**Radish4ever** · 06-22-2007, 03:28 PM

For a gift, I love scouting out places like Ross Dress for Less or TJ Maxx or even Kohl's or Target clearance and get a really pretty photo box or picture frame or even a nice silverware set or something like that. You could easily spend $10 or less and get a great gift!

You sound like a wonderful friend! She's so lucky to have you there!!

**MarshHen** · 06-22-2007, 03:29 PM

I totally agree with Missy and the others. I also agree with the memory book suggestion. It's a gift that will last her a lifetime. Also, Congratulations and blessings to you on your upcoming wedding.

**baxjul** · 06-22-2007, 03:30 PM

I agree with Missy. I would spend around $20.

**wanderlusting** · 06-22-2007, 05:08 PM

I like the idea of the memory box. I loved picture frames because it gave me somewhere to put all my wedding photos on display!

**kittykatstrong** · 06-22-2007, 08:26 PM

I agree with Missy. I would spend around $20.

Katy

**OzFreeBird** · 06-24-2007, 10:31 PM

I received no wedding present from any of my three bridesmaids nor did I expect one. Nor have I ever given a present if chosen as a member of the wedding party. This of course would be different if the bride paid for dress shoes, accommodation for me etc. It is an honour to be chosen but it is also a financial drain for most, and the bride and groom usually recognise that - they don't expect what goes for their guests to be the same for those in their bridal party.

How about a large bouquet of flowers for her, or a couple of movie tickets for her and hubby to go out and see something great after they get back from their honeymoon, if you feel you really must get her something?

Or a lottery ticket?

**luvnspnful** · 06-25-2007, 01:10 AM

I'm in a similar situation as the OP. I will be the MOH in a wedding July 8th, and can't decide how much to give either

. I am considering $50. Luckily, the Bride(zilla) paid for my dress, but I had to buy the shoes, have jewellery made and shell out for the out-of-town trip, plus hotel and food.

total expected expenses: $700...:surprise:. No bachlorette stuff to pay for tho-since I've pretty much been left out of the loop for any of her plans:

.

One wedding I went to tho I gave the happy couple a basket full of massage oils and things- it went over great and apparently they enjoyed it

Just remember, it's the thought that counts, and cash counts up nicely

**Jerseygirl** · 06-25-2007, 08:12 AM

Are you also doing a bridal shower? Is this 1st wedding for her? We live in a very pricey area where minimum plate price is $50, average is $90 per person with open bar. Whenever I'm in a wedding I generally budget about $1,000 for everything. Last time I was moh for a first time bride we did an at home shower so it only cost me about $100 for that, I bought 2 place settings and wishing well gifts for about $200, the bachelorette party was about $300, then her actual wedding gift covered the cost of our plates plus $25 = $175

**Precious26** · 06-25-2007, 11:09 AM

I really wanted to thank you for all your replies they are starting to give me some great ideas.

This would be her first wedding, talk with one of the other bride's maid we have decided to possibly do a surprise Briday shower/Brunch. The Staggette will consist of Bowling and possibly a passion party considering this is what the bride has requested as for right now I don't know what the initial cost will be in the long run.

For the most part I am actually looking forward to it, it's happening on July 28th, 2007. I do know that the bride is paying for all of us to have our nails done the day before the wedding which is great. I guess most of you have made me realize there is alot to consider.