Some people just don't get it....long rant!

[claimsgirl66]

I was watching "Big Spender" & got all riled up again.

Just have to vent , one of those things when a friend constantly complains about having too many bills...and you wanna say: well, stop buying stuff!

Here is story: have co-worker who sits near me, decent guy, pushing 40. Recently married a nice woman with 3 kids , (had good sized wedding & honeymoon which they are still paying for). Also has a good sized house, couple of dogs....so has some bills to pay like alot of us. Anyway, we chit- chat about bills, the usual jokes on payday about the $$ going out faster than comes in, home repairs, expenses, etc... the usual talk. Well the office was reconfigured and he recently moved so he sits near me, so I overhear, unfortunately, a good amount of his phone calls. Trust me, I am not eavesdropping...just know all this stuff as is a small office.

So they are doing some home repairs and upgrades...started out as deck falling apart, so that needed to be done, decided to make it better, bigger, etc...which of course cost $$$. Then along the way, (of course) found more hidden damages to the house they did not expect, so the total repairs are more than they budgeted....trust me, I hear the phone calls 3 times a day! Then things are bad with the kids dad, so more ongoing legal issues. They have my sympathies on this, having to spend more $ on legal fees to deal with the ex. I try not to judge, we all have bad luck: you found more rot on the house than you thought, and the idiot ex is suing over child custody; nothing they planned on. I am sympathetic when he chats about it at break time. He says: we are cutting corners, no more big vacations for a few years, the new deck and back yard will be good enough for us til we get caught up, bringing lunch to work every day...good.. I applaud this.

Then I start hearing about the bounced checks for the heating fuel as he is wheeling and dealing with the fuel company. He has a line of equity on the house with the bank which he uses like "free" money apparently also. Then the other day he tells me cannot go to a work luncheon (free food!)as he has to leave the office to drop off a utility bill THAT DAY or they will shut off propane....???? His mom is in ill health, couple hour drive to see the parents, so then I hear him telling his sister he cannot afford the gas to drive up, so the siblings will need to rotate weekends visiting his parents, to save fuel costs. So then....I hear him on the phone this week with his travel agent asking about booking a trip to Cancun!!!! I just bite my tongue now at work ( not like he would take my advice anyway) when starts his pity-party on lack of $$.

Trust me, I have had bad luck & made my share of idiot financial moves ...and am fixing them now. But it is hard to muster sympathy for someone who is complaining about how they have no $$ to see their ill mom, & utilities are being shut off....they should not be planning a vacation to a resort in Mexico....OK I am done venting. I am sure I am not the only one who has had to listen to this sort of thing.

[PB&J]

I hear ya! My inlaws are JUSt like that. Always telling me how broke they are, how they can't pay their bills, buy groceries, etc etc. And then yesterday, FIL tells me he bought a motorcycle! I was like, WHAT??! They had a car repo'ed because they couldn't pay for it and he buys a motorcycle. Sheesh. Who are the nuts that give those kind of people credit?

[itsahumanzoo]

DH has friends that are JUST like that! They're always complaining, and they never want to go out with us because of money, but they go to Vegas at least once a month! And they don't stay in cheap hotels, either.

Now we go to vegas now and again, but the difference is that we stay at my cousin's house, and we don't gamble at the high roller tables, or any tables for that matter!

I feel you!

[starsapphire]

Originally Posted by PB&J

I hear ya! My inlaws are JUSt like that. Always telling me how broke they are, how they can't pay their bills, buy groceries, etc etc. And then yesterday, FIL tells me he bought a motorcycle! I was like, WHAT??! They had a car repo'ed because they couldn't pay for it and he buys a motorcycle. Sheesh. Who are the nuts that give those kind of people credit?

LOL DH and I have a doctor friend and several years ago we were both commiserating about not enough money, too many bills, etc. and two weeks later he buys his wife a new motorcycle. Ever since then I don't believe him when he cries poor Which he hasn't done lately since he left private practice and works strictly for a hospital and makes tons more money.

[Mom23boys]

I hear ya! I have someone close to me who does this same exact thing and it bugs me. They have 4 cars and only 1 runs. Yet they would rather blow their money on something else. It is hard to feel sorry for them.

[AnnK]

I see people like this every day. And all I can think this that they would die if they knew I hadnt been on a vacation in almost 6 years. I would rather pay my bills.

[annymoll]

If people want to spend, spend,spend-I really am not bothered by it. It is more annoying to me to listen to the complaining about a lack of their funds.What a bother.

[orlivin1225]

I totally understand that frustration. I have a friend who calls to vent about how tired she is because she works the night shift and hubby works the day shift and her kids get up at 6:30pm, and she doesn't get to sleep much. I said, quit your job. She said that she can't because hubby just bought a brand new car, and her income pays that bill. I said, sell that car. She said they can't because he works 40 miles away and needs his car. I said, let him use your van. Ohh.... he won't drive my VAN!!! It's a soccer mom's car! <sigh> Okay then, stop b*&^ing and deal with your lack of sleep! You can get rid of cable, you can stop 'going out for coffee' with friends, you can stop shopping at Kohl's and spending 'only' $100, every few weeks. I wish I had those problems.... oh wait.... no I don't ! LOL

[Cricket1]

I have a friend that always vents about how broke she is and how late bills are. In the next breath she talks about booking a vacation because she's never going to have the money, anyway. She just got back from a vacation (all on credit card) and her dh lost his job. Again--that stinks, but better planning may have prevented all the financial hardships.

[jamie79]

I think we all have someone in our lives like this. Makes me mad.

[kaykwilts]

I too am sick of people who poor mouth all then time and in the next breath talk about their latest gadget or the vacation they are taking.

[Libby]

Hehehe - I 'dropped' my friend like this from my life and trust me - I feel MUCH better. She was trying to convince me to do the same as her. All she had to do was 'sleep' with her hubby and he'd pay things off. She got her knickers in a huge knot when I asked when was a good time for me to sleep with her hubby too so he could pay my bill when her and I were to galavant off to Vegas for a 'girls' weekend

She was one of those who would not admit trying to keep up with the Jones' but didnt realizes he was ONE of the Jones' only trying to outdo herself. Sheesh! She thought she was saving money by only spending $200/wk on clothes & shoes vs $500. Granted she is a plus size girl and the plus size clothes do cost more but you dont need that much new clothes & shoes/wk! Everything with her was on plastic, to be paid off by hubby and she claimed to be a 'thrifty/frugal' stay at home mom.

Like I said, I dropped her or removed her from my life. I dont need friends like this dragging me down and since I've dropped her and adjusted my lifestyle to what works best for me - I was able to climb OUT of debt and get on top of things.

As someone mentioned earlier in this thread, we all know someone like this but I guess on the other side of the coin, they really havent seen the light and it does start out with babysteps right? When that coworker realizes that doing is saving him more then talking about it he'll start 'doing' more to save and pay off debt.