Do you take a gift if they say not to?

**orderandlaw** · 07-15-2007, 06:25 AM

Ignoring the fact of whether it's proper etiquette or not: if you get an invitation to an event that specifies no gifts, do you bring a gift or a little something anyway, or not?

**tink** · 07-15-2007, 07:30 AM

Yep, I bring something!

**quiltergirl** · 07-15-2007, 07:48 AM

It depends. I love cards so I would usually at least take or send a card -- we usually make our own. I'm a giver too, but most people just don't need more "stuff." If it is someone I know very well I might take a gift, but it would be something "special" like photos or a story about the person. If they are very close to me possibly a memory quilt. I might send or take it to the house instead of showing up with it at the party -- depends. When we had my mom's 80th birthday party we told the guests that their gift was their presence at the party -- we also asked them to bring photos and memories to share. We also asked for a card shower. At the party we had everyone write down a memory of my mother and we put them in a box with photos and other memorabilia. We also gave her a huge card -- about 3 ft. tall -- everybody loved that.

**emily_hope** · 07-15-2007, 09:40 AM

I don't bring a gift, but I do take a card.

**Jerseygirl** · 07-15-2007, 09:55 AM

I usually take a small seasonal plant and a card with a note that we made a donation in their honor to a charity they appreciate. ---Kellie

**kittykatstrong** · 07-15-2007, 09:58 AM

I might bring bread or something that can be enjoyed at the party.

Katy

**Holly** · 07-15-2007, 10:03 AM

We never get any that says no gifts...
If I did I would take a card with a gift card to their favorite resturant.

**sdrjeolsen** · 07-15-2007, 10:03 AM

I'll usually bring something small. Something that eveokes a special memeory to the receiver. Sometimes just a handmade card if I don't know them as well.

**Grayce** · 07-15-2007, 10:53 AM

I would take a card.

**FrugalMomof3** · 07-15-2007, 10:54 AM

I would take a card as well.

**claimsgirl66** · 07-15-2007, 11:01 AM

If I know the hostess has put a lot of time/effort into ithe event, I like to recognize it. Depending on the occasion, I may bring a small bottle of decent wine I know they will like and/or a small box of good quality chocolates (Lindt store right near me with very good sales items) or something like that. For $10 I can usually bring a little something. I think has to do more with being brought up not to show up empty handed at a friends home. I figure the hostess or guest of honor can always enjoy them herself when she has a minute to herself! Though when I have people over, I do not expect them to bring anything.

**Buckeye5** · 07-15-2007, 11:03 AM

It depends on the situation for me. How well I know the person, or how involved I am in the event.

**Neeley** · 07-15-2007, 11:32 AM

Funny this came up. DS is turning 12 in August and we have decided to have his invitations read "no gifts, please". He wants his celebration to be all about the party, hanging out with his buddies, having a good time and not about gifts. I am going to emphasize to his friends' parents (the majority we are good friends with)how important it is to DS that gifts are not brought. If one child brings a gift another may feel uncomfortable that he did not so DS said he does not want any brought.

Plus, he gets enough anyway and might as well let his friends' parents save their money.

**Libby** · 07-18-2007, 12:26 AM

Depending on what the event/occasion is - I usually bring something. Preferably food b/c who doesnt love food?

Dinner Party/Social Gathering: Wine, munchies or something that can be shared

Wedding/Birthday Celebration - usually a card and sometimes with giftcard inside

**Edna_E** · 07-18-2007, 10:46 AM

NO! I read an article on this once that said that taking a gift to an occasion where it has been requested that they not be taken is a demand for attention to the giver - not my style! I do sometimes send a gift before or after the event, where the recipient can enjoy it privately. I tend to be a traditional food-or-flowers type for hosts/hostesses, but do books or games for kids birthdays.