Why don't husbands listen?

**itsahumanzoo** · 07-25-2007, 02:36 PM

About two days into our vacation, Dh's brother calls and asks if he can use DH's car. His friend was having a birthday in Vegas, but he had to work friday so he couldn't drive out with everyone and his car would never make it. DH said no because we don't have the car registered or insured yet. The next day DH's brother called back and asked if he could use my car. A 2007 Toyota Yaris, that we bought barely a year ago. DH said he would talk to me and call him back. Of course I said no no no, a million times, no. DH's brother is not a good driver, but that wasn't even my biggest concern. Every time we drive out to vegas we see so many accidents because people drive so recklessly on that road.

Of course DH doesn't listen to me and let's his brother use my car. On sunday DH's brother calls to tell him that he got into an accident. UGH! I didn't even have to say "I told you so," because he already knew.

DH's brother made a right turn, and then had to merge all the way left to get into a gas station. A girl made an illegal turn out of the gas station, and t-boned my car on the front left side. The girl was 16, only had her learner's permit, no insurance, and she was driving a friend's car. She told the cops "I saw him there, but I couldn't decide whether to speed around him or to slow down to avoid hitting him, so I sped up."

There's about $4000 worth of damage to our car, and we have a $1000 deductible. DH's brother does not have $1000, and we don't have it either now, so we have to put it on a credit card. Supposedly we should get it back one way or another, from the girl's family, or from their insurance. My car is going to be in the shop for at least two more weeks, but luckily, our insurance is covering a rental car for me.

Even though this happened while we were on vacation, I chose to not think about it until we came home.

Sorry for writing so much, I just needed to vent!

**auntie2many** · 07-25-2007, 02:40 PM

I don't blame you for venting. You are in my thoughts.

auntie

**pip** · 07-25-2007, 02:41 PM

That stinks.

**Cricketlegs** · 07-25-2007, 02:54 PM

Ohhhh that is just awful.

Maybe dh learned to listen???

**baxjul** · 07-25-2007, 03:20 PM

Maybe now your dh will listen to you? Although, I don't think they ever grow up.

**leezza** · 07-25-2007, 03:21 PM

I hope you don't think ill of me BUT, why the heck are you not taking this more out on your DH???? He knows his brother is a L so why the heck would he pick to please him over you????? I am sorry but this kind of stuff really makes me angry, how dare he put his family out like that????

I am sorry for you and I hope everything works out OK and that you get your car back safe and sound.

Kind Regards,
leezza
PS. from now on I wouldn't leave any of my car keys at the house when I am not there, just saying.

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 07-25-2007, 03:27 PM

ARGH!! I'm so sorry your Dh loaned your car! We have strict "no car loaning" policy in our house...and for that very reason! I worked in an insurance agency years ago and them saying, "loan your car, loan your insurance" continues to ring in my ears.

Sending you hugs...

**frugalfarmwife** · 07-25-2007, 03:41 PM

Ugh, so sorry, here's a few words for hubby

and then one for the brother

!!! You poor thing!

And why don't they listen? Cause their MEN! They are SOOOOOOOOO WIRED different than we are!

BTW, that brother better be kissing major rear for a LONG TIME!!

kj

**miss_thrifty** · 07-25-2007, 04:05 PM

i agree with above, better be kissing up for long time. I would be ranting at hubby for long time too for his costly mistake of lending it out in the first place.

**watchingpennies** · 07-25-2007, 04:07 PM

Frustrating!!! My dh would have lent the car too....(not any consolation I know). I hope that you get the money back, I am sure it will be a pain but worth it in the end. Good luck!!

**YankeeMom** · 07-25-2007, 04:12 PM

I blame it all on that damn Y chromosome!!

**annymoll** · 07-25-2007, 04:22 PM

Originally Posted by leezza

I hope you don't think ill of me BUT, why the heck are you not taking this more out on your DH???? He knows his brother is a L so why the heck would he pick to please him over you????? I am sorry but this kind of stuff really makes me angry, how dare he put his family out like that????

I am sorry for you and I hope everything works out OK and that you get your car back safe and sound.

Kind Regards,
leezza
PS. from now on I wouldn't leave any of my car keys at the house when I am not there, just saying.

This is my sentiment exactly. If DH wants to loan out his car, well fine and dandy. But my car? Not a ghost of a chance. He would not have asked me to do this, and he would not have spoken for me on something like this.It would not be a happy day for DH.

**tbs727** · 07-25-2007, 04:25 PM

I'm so sorry this happened. I have a '07 Yaris too and I would be extremely angry if someone wrecked it. DH wouldn't loan it out if I said no and vice versa.

I hate to say it, but men are not the only ones who do things like this. After her husband told her not to, my friend loaned her sister her car (with liability only insurance on it). Of course the sister wrecked it ($1500 worth of damage) and had no money to fix it. My friend and her hubby had to put it on their credit card and are still paying for it.

**itsahumanzoo** · 07-25-2007, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by leezza

I hope you don't think ill of me BUT, why the heck are you not taking this more out on your DH???? He knows his brother is a L so why the heck would he pick to please him over you????? I am sorry but this kind of stuff really makes me angry, how dare he put his family out like that????

I am sorry for you and I hope everything works out OK and that you get your car back safe and sound.

Kind Regards,
leezza
PS. from now on I wouldn't leave any of my car keys at the house when I am not there, just saying.

I don't think ill of you at all. This isn't the first time DH has gone against me regarding his brothers. On more than one occasion he has lent his older brother (different brother) money, even though we didn't have very much to begin with. I will never understand why he feels like he owes something to his brothers because he is more successful than them.

I try not to make a big deal out of anything, regardless of the issue. He knows he is wrong, and he knows he will be paying for it for a long time. Especially when there is something he wants and I just can't seem to find it in the budget...