Spin Off from Daisy's thread - Do you pay an older child to watch a younger sib?

[bumplett]

I didn't want to hi-jack Daisy's thread - but I'm curious -

Do you think that older siblings should watch their younger siblings for free?

Or do you think they should be paid as though they are a babysitter?



My personal belief is that an older sibling should be paid - as well as have the ability to decline babysitting if they have other plans -
I do not feel that it is the older siblings responsibility to care for the younger (after all, they didn't have the children)

[itsahumanzoo]

I wish my parents thought like that. Every new years eve in highschool I had to babysit my brother and sister. For free of course.

Although now, my little sister watches my son and does not want me to pay her. But I'm not in Florida very often, so she only gets to see him a few times a year.

If I had a child who was old enough to babysit their younger sibling I would definitely pay them. It's part of learning responsibility. I also think it makes the child more likely to say yes if you ask them to babysit.

[Neeley]

DD is 14 and DS is 12. We have been letting them stay alone for a couple of years. In our case DD is not really a "babysitter". They watch after each other. So in our case, no we do not pay them.

If we had a larger age difference and one was actually babysitting, that may be a different story. The would most likely get paid. But they also would not be given the choice as to whether to do it or no - when they are told they are going to do something, they are expected to do it. The kids are not allowed to go somewhere without our permission so it would not be messing up any plans they may have either. Our kids are responsible for certain household chores, some cooking, animal care etc...Everyone in the house chips in, no one gets a free ride. Helping with younger siblings is just a part of being a family and doing your part to chip in. JMHO

[Libby]

Maybe its just the way I was taught when growing up but NO I dont think you should pay them to babysit. Its part of a family lesson - are you trying to teach your oldest that everytime you want them to watch the younger one(s) to expect money? If they have that option then the one time you need them for a few minutes here and there they will expect money or will always OPT to say "no". Thats a hard battle that you may be bringing upon yourself for down the road.

Now Im talking about the 1/2 hour here or few hours there while you run out to run errands etc. Not repetitive situations like afterschool. If its a special afterschool situation - then maybe a negotiation is in order. Pick something they can work for - a new bike, a new pair of jeans, whatever....instead of paying them straight cash, keep a tally of what you would've paid them and put it towards that item/goal. Or let them opt for the straight cash - some kids dont get allowances right? And even then, I wouldnt offer to pay a whole heckuva lot either. This way its more like a 'life lesson' if you will.

However - on special occasions aka date night - I think they should get paid (more then then weekly afterschool thing). Or when on a family vacation and parents want a few hours to themselves - the older sibling stays in the hotel room with the kids until the parents return back etc - ie a few hours for parents QT.

This way they will see the difference in babysitting out of necessity (afterschool situations) vs solely for money (parents date night).

But thats just my two cents.

[YankeeMom]

We do pay our 15yo dd to babysit. She is of the age now where she is learning that her time is valuable and she is worthy of being paid for a job well done.

That said, they do not get "allowances" nor do they get paid for doing chores or getting good grades. IMO those are all things we all have to do that have compensation other than monetary. You clean your room, you get to enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done...as well as being able to walk to the bathroom in the dark without killing yourself
You get good grades, you get to enjoy moving on to the next grade with your peers, doing school activities that require a higher GPA, and ultimately good college scholarships, college entrance, and rewarding career.

Free babysitting? No, I don't think that just because they are the oldest that means they were born to be a built-in free babysitter for the rest of them.

[ubumartin]

No. My girls used to ask to be paid for babysitting and my response was...I will pay you to babysit, but then you will be responsible to pay for all of the things I pay for now like dance, sports etc. It doesn't go both ways. They have always been told that there are just things they have to do because they are a part of this family and that is just the way it goes. Whenever they have brought it up in the past my reasoning puts an end to it pretty quick.

[cab54]

I didn't pay older ds to watch younger ds. I watched 5 younger bros and sis's for nothing (all the time) and I survived. I see it as what happens when you're in a family. As long as it isn't done so much that the older child doesn't have a life.

[StartingOver]

I do not pay DS to watch his younger sister for a few hours. If he starts to complain, I gently remind him he can then use his own money to purchase all the extras thru-out the year. He understands, and doesn't bring it up often.

[leezza]

Ok, My thoughts are that the parents had the children and they should take care of them period.......

Where I grew up there were a lot of large families, 5 or more children and the oldest ones always had to care or drag along the younger ones if they wanted to do anything.......this isn't right if you can't take care of them yourself don't have them, its not fair to the older children. (makes a lot of people to not want to have children because they already feel like the raised kids while they were one).

Now, I don't mean like if you need to run down the street to the post office for 1/2 hour or so........thats Ok. But anything beyond that should get paid or that child should be able to decline.

JMHO,
leezza

[annymoll]

I would pay. It is my responsibility to provide childcare for my children, regardless of what I am paid as a parent through employment.I do not believe children should bear that responsibility.

[Jaded]

My older son used to get paid to watch his brother, and also for mowing our lawn. He didn't get an "allowance", he got paid to do chores. I wish it had worked with my younger one, but he just said "I don't want the money" and wouldn't do anything. My older one is very fiscally responsible, and of course, the younger one isn't. But I think at 22, he's getting better.

[bumplett]

thanks to everyone for being so honest and civil

very interesting comments - in hindsight, I think I should have made this a poll also

[Daisygirl]

I agree with the side that says kids sould get paid. For Chloe, I am not giving her tons of money (well, for a 12 year old, $20 a week is a lot). She will use that for going to the movies, things that she wants that I refuse to buy (expensive shoes), and the Kids Night at the YMCA she likes to go to which costs $5. So with the money is coming some budgetary restrictions. She won't be able to afford to do both things in a week so which will she pick, that type of thing.

Chloe also knows if I have to run to the store of if one week it were a choice between her getting paid and the family not having groceries or gas for the car, we would all pitch in extra that week, meaning she would not get paid that week, as far as a family responsibilty goes. (I hope we are never that broke again!)

[sixfreds]

I don't pay my 14 year old to babysit her siblings (8 year old triplets) BUT I do giver her money for movies or to go to the mall or other fun activities she wants to do with her friends, she baby-sits 4 hours in the morning I am home right after lunch, 5 days a week unless she has plans if she has plans I usually take the triplets with me to work (I am a meals on wheels driver).

So I don't really pay her BUT I do give her money to do things things or buy things she wants and she can decline if she has other plans.
But being part of a family means helping and if I wasn't working part time we wouldn't have money to do fun thinsg so I could stay home and we woulnd't be able to do those fun things or she can help me out so I can work and then she can do extra fun things.

Eileen

[lori121]

I never did get paid to watch my siblings, or my niece & nephew that my mom watched......