And was it a choice? Do you want kids...waiting, can't have them, etc?
My Dh and I can't have kids. I feel really left out of most groups of women. Especially at Church. We've gone to our Church for over 3 years...none of the ladies have reached out to me (though I've tried reaching out to them). Our friends just started going to Church with us about 9 or 10 months ago (it's my Dh's best friend and his wife/kids). His wife has already made friends with other mom's there. It's so frustrating. Seems really unfair...but at the same time I understand the tie that would automatically be there.
Does anyone know how to handle this? Is there a way to not be left out? Or am I just SOL?
No kids here either. Dh and I were together for 7 years and due to infertility never got pregnant. We were moving on to adoption together but then he died. I do plan on pursuing adoption by myself once things get a little more settled. Is that an option for you?
I feel for your situation so much. I am childfree (single) and didn't have kids out of choice (never found a guy I trusted enough to raise kids with and knew enough to use birth control) I am always left out because I don't have kids and have just accepted it for what it is. I'm a homebody anyways so while the lack of social interaction sometimes hurts, it's not as bad as when I was younger.
A possible suggestion is to join in wherever you can. If there is a kid function, volunteer to do something to help. Maybe the "moms" don't know that even though you don't have a child, you are still willing to help out. Join a group (bible study,etc) Whatever is available. Just be willing to participate on an ongoing basis. I would think somewhere along the line you would find a common bond with someone. goodluck!
I am sorry that you feel left out. It is probably not becuase they dont want to be friends but as a person with kids I can tell you that they probably think you dont want to be friends with them because they have kids. Kwim?
You might have to try extra hard to invite yourself , and after a while you will fit right in
We've talked adoption...and hope to years from now... It's pretty expensive. Even the ones through the state have the cost of the home study and then the "minimal" adoption fees...around $2000 per kid. That's an attainable goal, but it will definitely be years from now...we have too many bills to go to one income or to cover daycare out of one income. So, that's a "down the road" goal...probably in 8-10 years.
I have 1 grown one, but I know what you mean about feeling excluded. I think if you try volunteering for activities, it might give the parents an opportunity to get to know you. Vacation Bible School, Sunday School, Logos (or similar programs) are usually crying out for people to help - and the usual assumption is that people who don't have kids aren't willing to be around them - so the lack of invitations may be an attempt at courtesy.
I get that just for being single, and thus making an uneven number at someone's table. My reaction is simply to instigate something (lunch, dinner, hiking, movie-night, whatever) when I feel the urge, but it does still rankle that it doesn't get reciprocated.
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Why not try asking them over with their kids, and planning an outing that would be like a family thing? My kids are both grown, but some of my younger friends have kids, and I invited them to go to the water park with me (of course, they have to pay). I wanted to go, and I didn't want to go alone, and having the kids there was fun. She got help with the kids, and I got to be in a family situation, which I hardly ever get to do anymore.
I meet my friend who has small children at the park a lot, and the kids play, and we chat while pushing them on swings or whatever. It's fun.
Just call one of them up and say something like "Have you ever been to (whatever) park? I hear it's nice. Wanna pack up the kids and a picnic lunch and go sometimes?"
A lot of times people with kids think people without don't want to be bothered with them. Just let them know you would welcome the kids, and they'll include you more.
No children here, but hubby and I are nothing but big kids. I suggest finding different groups/situations also, I know with me the horse community is great, it seems that MOST horse owning moms are more their own person (don't anyone take that wrong please, lol!)
I know that it frustrates hubby that I'm not close with many of the other farmers wives but their kids ARE their entire lives, so we really have nothing in common.
But, I'm also one that doesn't feel the need/want to be around children a lot, I'm just a bit different, lol, just ask my mom!
kj
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No kids?
I feel really left out of most groups of women. Especially at Church. We've gone to our Church for over 3 years...none of the ladies have reached out to me (though I've tried reaching out to them). Our friends just started going to Church with us about 9 or 10 months ago (it's my Dh's best friend and his wife/kids). His wife has already made friends with other mom's there. It's so frustrating. 
Jacqueline 
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