SIL Rant

**Mom23boys** · 08-14-2007, 07:59 PM

I had this all typed out and somehow I lost it. I am going to try this again.

SIL, DH's sister, moved in with MIL and FIL, who lives next door, in April of this year. I think she is very lazy and she doesn't work eventhough she has no ailments or disabilities. She also has two kids which she receives child support on. She doesn't have to pay child support on them if she works cause FIL will watch them. He did so in the past when she worked a few years ago. MIL is the only one in the home who works because FIL is retired. SIL stays home and sleeps most of the day.....her 2 children are 9 and 12. MIL struggles to pay all the bills alone and has asked SIL to get a job, but she isn't even trying to look for one. MIL is enabling her and needs to give her a deadline to get out I think, but that is just me. SIL also receives food stamps, but she is claiming a niece who doesn't even live with them. UGH!! I know this because she told me. I prefer not to know. DH is fed up with SIL and wants to find a new home away from them.

Anyway, SIL's car broke down this summer and since we are home during the summer she started calling me or DS#2 to give her a ride to the corner store to get cigarettes and a coke. DH finally had enough of it and told her to go get a job and get her another car! Yesterday she came over just to "sit in the a/c" as she said it because FIL doesn't like to run the a/c. We do, but just enough to keep things cool. Then today she comes over and says that their phone isn't working and wanted to use ours. I thought she was calling the phone company, but I assumed wrong! She made two long distance phone calls. I don't think she would have gotten off the phone from the first call, but I finally said something. Then she has the nerve to make the second call and guess who she saw pull in the driveway? Yep, DH!! She immediately hung up and was walking out the door when he was coming in. Why? Because she knows he will say something to her. When he pushed redial to see who she called, he was furious! When he sees her again, he will tell her about it. He has told her plenty of times how he feels about her!

I don't mind helping people, but I hate being taken advantage of.....KWIM??

Stepping off my soap box now!!

**Missy** · 08-14-2007, 08:07 PM

next time she comes to the house for a phone call hand her .50 and point her to the nearest pay phone!

not cool of sil. hopefully she'll get the hint

**claimsgirl66** · 08-14-2007, 08:13 PM

I have never been in your position, but I think Dear Abby or Ann Landers used to say: no one can take advantage of you if you don't let them.

Sounds like DH is fed up and you all are on the same page. Good luck setting your foot down!

**frugalfarmwife** · 08-14-2007, 09:19 PM

Family, can't live with em, can't shoot em, sucks doesn't it? So sorry you're having to deal with this, I'd honestly ignore what goes on next door, sorry but they're enabling her, but it would stop at my door, she wouldn't come in!

Good luck to you

kj

**kabin63** · 08-14-2007, 11:19 PM

OK, I completely understand where you are coming from right now. I can't really get it all out in detail, don't want to hijack this post, but I really feel for you. I going through a somehwhat, similar situation. All I can say is "How do you get them out????" Sorry, I am a little bit stressed right now. My heart goes out to you and your inlaws.

**kabin63** · 08-14-2007, 11:22 PM

I, SOOOOO wish that I could have stopped it at my door. Hard to do with step daughter.

Originally Posted by frugalfarmwife

Family, can't live with em, can't shoot em, sucks doesn't it? So sorry you're having to deal with this, I'd honestly ignore what goes on next door, sorry but they're enabling her, but it would stop at my door, she wouldn't come in!

Good luck to you

kj

**frugalfarmwife** · 08-15-2007, 12:12 AM

Originally Posted by kabin63

I, SOOOOO wish that I could have stopped it at my door. Hard to do with step daughter.

Hugs Kathy, I know you're strong. Sorry that she's invaded you again, want me to come kick her butt? Ya know I could!

kj

**Darlene** · 08-15-2007, 08:13 AM

This is your que to stop being a pushover Michelle.

She had the nerve because you allowed her. You know this.
Just say no & for what it's worth, it's is more than OK to say no.
You can do it Michelle!

**Dancing Lotus** · 08-15-2007, 10:14 AM

I can so totaly get how you feel. Its happening to me now.
MY mil has totaly enabled my bil for years, well she moved and left us with bil to deal with. He is thirty two years old and never had a bill in his name, never even had a checking account. He doesnt have a drivers licens and it has only been one week since mil is gone. He has called me every single day wanting a ride somewhere! Saturday he wanted to go grocery shoping and we ended up going to five differnt stores. I gotta find a better way to deal with him.

**Mom23boys** · 08-15-2007, 11:14 AM

Kathy and Ann, sorry that you are having to deal with a similar situation. It is so aggravating!!

I talked to MIL about her last night and told her about the phone calls. She was upset and mentioned to me that she has given her to the end of the month to find a job or get out! I sure hope she sticks to her guns this time.

I told DH I am not letting her in the house unless he is home. He said she is not allowed to use our phone for any reason! He was upset to say the least! You can tell he is about ready to explode on her. He is tired of her using everyone, especially his mother!

***One night MIL asked DH to look at her (MIL) car. While we were over there, SIL came out and asked her mom about dinner. SIL said there were only 4 hamburgers and there are 5 people next door. Well, MIL said you all eat and I will be fine. She wasn't going to eat that night just so everyone else could eat and she is the only one working!! UGH!! We happen to be standing there to hear that conversation so I told one of our boys to go to the house and get their grandma a plate of porkchops that we were having. I wasn't going to let her starve. DH had to leave because he will say something that will upset his mom about his sister. It is hard to walk away and leave someone hungry.

I wish I lived in another town!!

Darlene, I am going to say NO! I hate manipulators!!