Does this sound like she is trying to nicely blow me off?

**MrsB** · 08-19-2007, 11:23 PM

LOl My brother has been dating this girl for about 4 months and in this time I have seen her maybe 4 times. And when we (me and dh) do see them she will only talk to my dh, not me unless I speak first and then its usually yes or no answers. Its really starting to annoy me that she won't have anything to do with me, BUT I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she just is alittle more comfortable talking to guys or b/c I'm her boyfriends sister or something. So I pm'd her on MySpace with this message:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: *Kelly*
Date: Aug 19, 2007 2:19 PM

Hey S,
Its was nice to see you yesterday at the party. Sorry I didn't talk to you much, CJ is a full time job. Maybe one day when I'm in Greenville we can meet for lunch or something.

Email me sometime at yahoo.com

Kelly
_________________
This is the response I just got back.....

Hey girl,
Classes start back Wednesday and Im starting a new job soon so I don't know how much free time i will have, but maybe all of us can do dinner sometime. You need to spend all the time you can with CJ because as precious as he is, he will grow up quick. But it was good to see you. Hope we can do it again.
~S

To me it feels alittle "off" and that maybe she is trying to nicely blow me off or something. AM I just taking it the wrong way?

Thanks

**mommy4ever** · 08-19-2007, 11:33 PM

Just a thought. Perhaps your brother has said something? If you're close with him, he may have a very high opinion of you and it may intimidate her a little?

Or maybe she's a little stand offish with women. Some people are like that.

**kabin63** · 08-20-2007, 12:31 AM

I was raised with 5 brothers, no sisters, and I have always found it easier to talk to guys. Her reply sounds more to me like she may feel somewhat uncomfortable with you or she may feel she doesn't have a lot in common with you to talk about. I, of course don't know this girl, so it could be a lot of different things. I would just give it time and work at it slowly. It took me a long time to get to where I could really talk to other women, because of growing up with boys. Sometimes I still have a hard time feeling comfortable enough to talk them. If your brother is really serious about this girl then hopefully things will start to improve.
Jst a quick aside. My one of me SIL's told me she didn't like me at first, for some reason, but once she got to know me she found out she liked me. This was after they had been married for some time. So, I vote for giving it time and letting things take their course. Who knows, you may find you don't like her, but until then just hang in there and see what happens.
Kathy

**baxjul** · 08-20-2007, 05:44 AM

I would talk to your brother, and see what he thinks. I find it easier to talk to men also, because of growing up with all boys.

**MrsB** · 08-20-2007, 09:01 AM

Thanks! I'll give some time and see how things go.

**tbs727** · 08-20-2007, 10:31 AM

I thought her response was very kind. I guess I don't see where it could be considered a blow off. I remember being so busy in college that I didn't do anything but work and sleep. I too would talk to your brother. Maybe she's just shy around women.

**Jskell911** · 08-20-2007, 10:45 PM

I agree on a few of these points:

You may intimidate her, seeing as she is dating your brother.

She may find it tough to talk to women.

Another question though, if you are much older than her, that could be an issue as well. When I was college age, talking to a "settled" older woman was NOT something some of my friends would have been comfy with.

**MrsB** · 08-21-2007, 11:45 AM

Thanks. I'll just give it some time and see what happens.

btw- for those that asked, I'm 2 or 3 years older than her.

**Jerseygirl** · 08-21-2007, 07:28 PM

If they have only been together 4 mos she may not be attatched enough to him to want to buddy up with his sister. For me I didn't even want to meet most of the family for quite a while. It stinks to become "part of the family" then realize he isn't Mr Right.

**Libby** · 08-22-2007, 12:18 AM

Im going to go against the grain here and say she's blowing you off. It sounds like one of those generic replys that you can easily type out b/c youre able to hide behind your computer. Face to face she says nothing and all of a sudden she speaks sentences?!

I agree the newness of their relationship could be afftecting her but honestly, is this how she treats people every new person she meets if they're not related to her new bf? When I met my bf's parents and all his friends early on - first month of dating I was nervous and quiet too but I didnt NOT talk to people b/c of it. To me thats just rude.

I'd ask your bro in a private convo and see what he says. Somethings not right with her if you ask me. I know its one thing to be very quiet and scared but if she talks to your hubby with ease you should be the same, she met you both at the same time and ideally she should try to be bonding with you more b/c you're his blood relative.

Again thats just my 2 cents.