How to deal with a potential liar???

**Dancing Lotus** · 08-29-2007, 03:24 PM

I think someone I recently met is a liar. She tells me things that just dont make sense. She is my bil's girlfriend. My bil has been away and two weeks after her got back this girl tells everyone she is pregnant. WTH? How could you know you are pregnant only two weeks along? SHe has also told me a lot of weird little things that dont add up but the biggest one is her claim that she has cancer. She says she has cervical cancer, but gets no medical treatment for it other then a "myster pill" that I had to take her to the pharmacy to pick up.

Today I took her to the doctor and she came out with some new perscriptions and tells me about how her doctor wants to change her meds for this and that becuase of being pregnant but makes no mention for ther suposed cancer. Dont you think it would be a big deal if a woman with cervical cancer got pregnant??? I dont think this can be right but how do I call her out on this without the rest of the family thinking Im horrible to question a sick person. I think she is useing my bil, I cant imagine why becuase he is a big loser. Anybody have any thoughts on this? Am I wrong to think she is not being honest?

**baxjul** · 08-29-2007, 03:27 PM

Hmmm, does seem strange. Usually if you have cervical cancer, you get a hysterectomy.

**miss_thrifty** · 08-29-2007, 03:41 PM

OmG!!! i think i would deffently check into it.

**lwlynch** · 08-29-2007, 03:43 PM

I had a friend for about 4 years that told the biggest tales all the time. I just kinda took her with a grain of salt and didnt bother too much. Just don't let your guard down and then they know too much about you and they make up even more stories. Watch your back!

**Sari** · 08-29-2007, 04:02 PM

Well, I know from fertility treatments you can test to see if you are pregnant at 10 days or so, so it's not impossible I guess. I don't know about the other stuff, other than just trying to catch her in a lie.

**Dancing Lotus** · 08-29-2007, 04:05 PM

lwlynch- I try not to say to much about myself and I dont respond to much for what she says. Right now I am sorta forced to help her becuase she has no car and my bil pays me to take her where she needs to go. It s way good money so how can I turn it down. I made 350 in just three weeks.

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 08-29-2007, 04:06 PM

Sounds way fishy to me... Why not look up some "technical" information on the subject so you have background info and then ask questions that any person going thru that (after having talked to a doc) would know the answers to...like if she'll need surgery...what kind of meds she'll need and if she's watching for possible drug interactions (that can sound like concern for her safety)...what steps she'll have to take after the baby is born...the due date the doctor told her (then you can ask her again another day saying you can't remember exactly to see if she says the same thing). I'd start playing detective...sounds like she's a sneaky one... Good luck!

**Missourimom** · 08-29-2007, 04:11 PM

I'm not sure, but don't they have pregnancy tests now that can tell you you're pregnant as soon as you missed your period for a day? I don't know, maybe I'm just dreaming that up? lol. I don't worry about it since I can't have babies anymore.

Usually we get those "somethings not right" feelings for a reason AnnK. You're in a tough spot to be in.

**kaykwilts** · 08-29-2007, 05:05 PM

Pregnant and cervical cancer too? Sounds too fishy. I agree she must by lying. Must be one of those people who like all the attention.

**latierra84** · 08-29-2007, 05:06 PM

the due date question, i like that idea!

be careful. sounds like she may be trying to scam your brother, and if not him then at least use him to get to your family.

**Judi Dial** · 08-29-2007, 05:23 PM

and have a friend who's facing one as a potential SIL too. Her problem is that not only is the woman a liar, but she breed nastiness and claims others are abusive, mean, hate her, etc.

The only partial solution that I know to this sort of thing is to document it. Write down what she says every day. Then, when two months later she says something like, "Pregnanat? I can't be pregnant, I've got cervical cancer, remember?" then you have her pegged. And, after a while, you've got a record that is consistent, or of her inconsistencies.

Dunno if you want to go to that much trouble, but that's what I'd do.

I like the due date idea above too.

Isn't it a pity some people feel like they have to scam instead of simply being human?

Good luck!

Judi

**YankeeMom** · 08-29-2007, 05:26 PM

My question is, why bother? Why get into the drama just to "prove her wrong". Is it gonna make any difference in the long run? Not if she's lying, but if she isn't lying...you will be the one to look like the bad guy.

Just let it go in one ear & out the other.

She may be exaggerating. She may have had a bad pap test & had someone who didn't know what they are doing tell her they are "pre-cancer cells". Who knows.

**Dancing Lotus** · 08-29-2007, 05:47 PM

Originally Posted by YankeeMom

My question is, why bother? Why get into the drama just to "prove her wrong". Is it gonna make any difference in the long run? Not if she's lying, but if she isn't lying...you will be the one to look like the bad guy.

Just let it go in one ear & out the other.

She may be exaggerating. She may have had a bad pap test & had someone who didn't know what they are doing tell her they are "pre-cancer cells". Who knows.

I think you are right. Why bother. I just dont like being lied to and I smell a rat. Other then her strange stories I kinda like her . I think she is just one of those people that always have something wrong. You might be onto something about the "pre-cancer cells". I will ask her about her due date and file it way in my memory. If she is lieing she will mess up and change the due date. IF she is lieing then it will come out on its own and I wont have to say a word. I just dont want to invest any of my personal feelings into it. I dont want to care and then be hurt when she splits town. KWIM?

**FrugalMomof3** · 08-29-2007, 05:50 PM

I think it sounds fishy as well but try to catch her in a lie but other than that, it sounds to me as if she is a major attention seeker.

**Libby** · 08-29-2007, 06:38 PM

Um...maybe I missed this in the previous posts but has she told your BIL that shes been busy baking?? If the answer is NO - then ask her why? Its great news and should be shared. Hopefully that will get the ball rolling for your BIL and open doors so he can ask questions - when is it due? How long have you known???

And maybe put a bug in his ear/reminder about her cervical cancer before she tells him shes preggers?

But I do agree....in one ear, document it somewhere for use later and then out the other. But I know how you feel - you dont want to see your BIL used and abused. No one does.