Need gift advice, please

**brainyblonde** · 09-09-2007, 10:42 AM

I have been invited to a bridal shower (but not the wedding) of my brother's stepdaughter. I see her infrequently - maybe once a year during the holidays. No bridal registry information was listed.

I have tentatively decided on a gift card - probably Amex, since it can be used many places. What do you think is an appropriate amount?

**Cricket1** · 09-09-2007, 10:51 AM

I would do $25.00.

**Michelle68** · 09-09-2007, 11:09 AM

$25 sounds good to me, too.

--Michelle

**Amanda W** · 09-09-2007, 02:40 PM

If I were you, I would spend $20 or $25.

**PrairieRose** · 09-09-2007, 02:43 PM

I was gonna say $20-25 range, that's what we spend on most wedding gifts unless it's a truly special person to us and then we spend more.

**ScrapMama** · 09-09-2007, 02:44 PM

I say go with $25.00.

**Bethany** · 09-10-2007, 02:04 PM

I have never heard of anyone being invited to the shower, but not the wedding. Is that a common practice?

**cdmom** · 09-10-2007, 04:22 PM

I think it is poor ettiquette to invite someone to a shower and not the wedding...though you did not ask our opinion about that....sorry. Not to sound cheap, BUT sometimes an actual gift will be less expensive than giving money. For instance, a set of nice towels on sale or a cake plate. JMHO

**Critter** · 09-10-2007, 04:46 PM

Have either of them been married before or living on there own? They might have things like towels, bedding or such but might like some new items also. I would look for a nice set of towels for the bath or kitchen. If you go with bath get something neutral. You can always use towels. I didn't get any but 1 set for a shower gift (had 2 showers) and then my mom told people we needed towels and I got all kinds for wedding gifts I still had some that were new about 6 years later and we have been married 15 this October.

I would go with towels money is nice but you could get towels on sale and spend less. I think it is rude that you are good enough to goto the shower and get a gift but not good enough to goto the wedding that isn't right in my book who cares if you only see her once in a blue moon the point is you are good enough for the shower but not the actually wedding that is strange. Ok I know that wasn't asked but that is how I feel. But I vote towels if you are set on doing the gc then I would go with $20-$25 also.

**always2busy** · 09-10-2007, 06:29 PM

I usually decline showers/weddings unless it is someone very close. This doesn't sound like a close relationship. If you want to get her something pyrex is always good.

**emily_hope** · 09-10-2007, 09:05 PM

Originally Posted by cdmom

Not to sound cheap, BUT sometimes an actual gift will be less expensive than giving money. For instance, a set of nice towels on sale or a cake plate. JMHO

I would do this, too, instead of a gift card. If she is registered somewhere, maybe you can find a couple small items that are on her registry list.

**emily_hope** · 09-10-2007, 09:08 PM

Oops, sorry I looked back and I see there was no registry listed. I still agree with picking out a gift. You might even find a good sale item.

**geckoace** · 09-10-2007, 09:51 PM

Honestly, If she's not someone you are close to I would probably skip the shower and send the couple a lovely card. but if you really want to get something then 25 amex gc is plenty

**brainyblonde** · 09-10-2007, 10:13 PM

I certainly hope this is not a new trend! Funny thing is that last October we received a "save the date" wedding announcement. I found out about a month ago that the venue has changed a few times, and only my mother received an actual invitation to the wedding. That was really fine with me.

Actually, I think it is in very poor taste to invite someone to a shower that wasn't invited to the wedding. (Just seems like a solicitation.

) I really only considered going to the shower because of my brother - he has helped us with his expertise in a few home improvement projects.

After talking to my mother and finding out that there is a registry, I have decided that I will give her my money to be combined with the other siblings not invited to the wedding, and collectively purchase a gift from the registry. I won't have to attend the shower.

Thanks for all of your input.

**Edna_E** · 09-11-2007, 04:31 PM

$25 sounds good to me.

Remember that showers are given by friends, whereas the invitations to the wedding are by the couple or their parents - it really IS ok to be invited to a shower but not to a wedding. Many people choose to have very small weddings, but their friends might want to have a shower for them anyway.