Am I unreasonable?

[emortis13]

I’m 21 years old and I have lived on my own for one year. In this year I have adapted to life without people giving me orders or instructions all the time and have come up with my own.

If you enter my home you take off your shoes or you can stay in the entryway on the yard long rug with them on. There is even a chair to sit on.

Today someone acted like I was crazy that I didn’t want rain and mud all over my apartment.

I only have a driving permit so no, I am not going to be driving so and so anywhere with out an insured and licensed driver in the passenger seat. 2 permits do not make a license. And 3 do not make a get out of jail free card.

I am 21 years old this means I can buy alcoholic beverages, I refuse to buy this for younger people and I refuse to allow younger people drink in my house.

I am not going to stay up all night to watch some TV show that comes on at 4:30am. I have a life and I need my sleep.

I want to live how I want to and frankly I don’t understand why people cannot just except that I do not want to live how they do. Does this really make me crazy or weird? People keep acting like it does.

[emily_hope]

I don't think you sound too unreasonable. The one people probably balk out is the taking off of their shoes. But, I know people that want you to do this. It's your house and your rules. Stick to your guns.

[foxxyroxie]

Just my 2 cents, but the people that balk the most about taking their shoes off at the door wear shoes in their homes and their floors and carpets tell the story. They pay little respect to your 'stuff', because they don't take care of their own 'stuff'.

My example to people not repecting other people's stuff is that BF's sister is a smoker and insists she can smoke in our van, even though we are both non-smokers and we request that people do not smoke in our vehicle. If she wants to ride with us, she'll have to refrain from smoking or she can drive herself in her own vehicle so she can smoke like a chimney all the way there and back.

[Holly]

Its your home and your life.
Not unreasonable at all

[Darlene]

Maybe the problem is in the way you deliver your rules or maybe you have the wrong group of friends or... Sounds like this last year has you a bit more mature than your party loving friends and maybe it's time to cultivate some new ones or just keep letting the ones you have know that this is the way it is.

[mommy4ever]

Those rules seem fine to me! I'm that way.

I always find it interesting though, I've never been around any one that thinks it's ok to wear shoes in the house. It's not known up here. That may have to do with 9 months of winter though. Dh does wear shoes in the house but they are his "indoor" shoes as he has bad feet, so when we're doing work around the house he puts shoes on, sometimes I do as well, depending on how much straight standing I do, but again, they ar emy gym shoes, so never seen the outdoors. The thought of some one walking in with their shoes well, i'd be some ticked off with them, and you are well within your rights to say No shoes please.

[PrairieRose]

I agree with Darlene that it *might* be the way your message is delivered rather than the message itself. Try to be a bit more diplomatic and say please and thank you. My momma always said you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. (Don't know why you'd wanna catch em when you can use a swatter... but anyway you get the jest) I think your rules are fine, just be sure not to beat people over the head with em. We have a non smoking rule here. If you wanna smoke, please step outside.

[pip]

You sound like you are mature for your age. At 21, there are a fair amount of people that are thinking more of having fun than being responsible and maybe they just haven't caught up to you yet. If people are giving you a hard time about your rules, you can always try to soften things a bit with the way you are presenting them. I mean, you can still care about the people around you even though you stick to your principles.

[YankeeMom]

Just my 2 cents, but the people that balk the most about taking their shoes off at the door wear shoes in their homes and their floors and carpets tell the story. They pay little respect to your 'stuff', because they don't take care of their own 'stuff'.

That's a pretty broad statement. Not everyone who dislikes removing their shoes at someone else's home are disrespectful of themselves and others. I HATE having to take my shoes off at someone's house. You may as well be asking me to take my shirt off. It's that personal to me.


OP, I don't think you are unreasonable. Your friends just probably haven't matured as much as you have and you may be outgrowing them

[Lorelei]

No, particlularly not with the driving and drinking rules. Funny thing, if you were to give in to the pressure and something happened, guess who probably faces the worst legal penalties? Yup, YOU!

[bumplett]

I tend to agree with Darlene ~ maybe it's time to surround yourself with more mature friends?

[Odilia]

I don't think you're unreasonable to set your own rules, but I don't think it's unreasonable that some people won't like them. If you're happy with your rules, then don't worry about those who get hacked off about them!

I appreciate when people take their shoes off at the door, but I don't ask them, too. My own mom can barely walk without her orthopedic shoes, and my dad has always been embarrassed about his feet (his toes are somewhat deformed). I'd rather spend a few moments sweeping and mopping up vs. embarrassing someone who may be in similar circumstances of my parents. We do have a fair amount of elderly visitors, though, and I think it would be asking more of them to take off their shoes than it would the young adult crowd.

[ravenmaniac]

Sounds like you are a very mature individual. You stick to your values. Enforce your rules as you see fit. Driving on a permit and providing alcohol are not smart choices. Good for you for standing up for yourelf. I don't like taking my shoes off at peoples homes because I find it embarrassing. Mabe offer a nice shoe "scruffer" people can wipe their shoes on before they come into your home. A door mat set on the inside of your door that holds water, like LL Bean's Waterhog Mat, is a great idea. I found one similar at Target and I love it. Keep a mop handy to wipe up water or a towel to soak up water. I do find that people who don't respect your stuff usually don't respect their stuff. Even if some people see you take very good care of your stuff they still won't see the big deal if they don't show the same respect. That burns me up. Mabe I'm being unreasonable but nothing is worse when you keep your stuff nice and your friends show no respect.

[Jaded]

I think you sound very mature and responsible. In your house, you have the right to demand any behavior you want from your guests. I have friends who like me to take my shoes off, so I do, or I bring bedroom slippers with me when I go there. It's kinda nice sitting around in my scuffs....like a pajama party!

Your friends are most likely your age too, right? Well, they just have some growing up to do.

You'll be fine. In time, you'll weed out the users and the brats and find some real friends who are as marvelous as you are.

[carlitasway]

You aren't unreasonable! I wish I was this responsible when I was that age. I think I would have saved myself a bunch of heartache and mistakes.