Update on English paper

**emily_hope** · 09-22-2007, 10:45 AM

Thanks, everyone for all the help. DD18 did change the original sentence. I let her read what all of you had suggested and then she came up with her own. Here is what she had originally written:

The details allow readers to know how the people in the stories are feeling and how the different things are affecting them. All these details give more emphasis on the stories. Authors who use details in their stories allow the stories to become more realistic, which can engross the readers; therefore, allowing the readers to become aware of how different obstacles are affecting the characters and making it seem as if the readers are being affected as well.

And she changed it to read:

The details allow readers to know how the people in the stories are feeling and how the different things are affecting them. All these details give more emphasis on the stories. Giving more emphasis on the stories, allows the readers to become aware of how different obstacles are affecting the characters and making it seem as if the readers are being affected as well.

I don't know if she chose the best way to express her thoughts and she hasn't received her grade yet for the paper. We are still waiting to see what the professor thinks of it. English is not her best subject, but she is giving it her best effort. So far, she has been more disciplined about college than she was about high school. Thank goodness!

**FrugalMomof3** · 09-22-2007, 11:10 AM

I hope she get's an A, but I know my son had to do a paper and the teacher was a jerk about it saying something to the effect of "I know you didnt write it" (which he did) so he gave him a 70 without even reading it to it's entirety.