Would I be rude if

**Dancing Lotus** · 11-14-2007, 10:11 AM

I gave my sil some of my receips for thanksgiving? I already had a menu, made place cards and made a spread sheet for my cooking time line when I was informed that my brother wanted to host. Fine not a problem, but I dont really want to eat my sils dry Turkey. She isn't much on cooking and everything is going to be from a box or a can. And thats fine but I like to make my Thanksgiving entirely from scratch. I understand that not everyone feels this way but to me it's just not Thanksgiving if some extra effort isn't put into it. I don't mind all the extra frozen or boxed whatever but I really want to show her how I do my turkey. However, I dont want to insult her.

**nodmicks** · 11-14-2007, 10:18 AM

I hate to say it but if you hand her your thanksgiving recipes it seems a bit rude. If she knows they are your reipes you always make.
However if you send her a recipe saying I just tried this and it was really easy and good it might work.

**carlitasway** · 11-14-2007, 10:26 AM

She may take it the wrong way. Why does she want to host if she doesn't cook? My sister is this way and it irritates me sometimes. She makes a big deal that she wants it at her house and then she waits until the last minute and gets stressed. She asks for help to cook which means my mom or I do all the major cooking and she does a side dish or two.

**thriftstorequeen** · 11-14-2007, 10:27 AM

Maybe if just go and enjoy the family time. If she needs help she'll let you know. You can always cook a turkey and all the trimings at your own home at a later time. I hope you have a nice time!

**Katybird** · 11-14-2007, 10:29 AM

If someone handed me their recipe without my asking for them I would be insulted or at least have my feelings hurt. Could you maybe offer to bring the turkey, maybe you could tell her that since there is so much to do to prepare the meal that you would like to help out by bringing the turkey if it is ok with her. She would probably be happy to have one less thing to have to do on Thanksgiving morning since it is always such a busy morning and it looks more like you are trying to help rather than insulting her cookinig skills. If she doesn't accept your offer then I would just eat the dry turkey and smile and then make one at home for your immediate family over the weekend

.

**annymoll** · 11-14-2007, 10:30 AM

She may think that she is a good cook, and that you will enjoy her meal. She may think that her cooking is better than yours! I would just ask her if she would like any help, or if she would like you to bring a dish.(Put gravy on your turkey, makes it less dry. Grin and say,"This is lovely. " She will think you are a wonderful SIL.)

**vverkin925** · 11-14-2007, 10:43 AM

I have a similar situation here. A dear friend has invited us to her house for Thanksgiving and she and her husband are terrible cooks. The funny thing is that they LOVE to cook. They just seem to overcook everything. Every time they ask us over for dinner we just cringe. But we always go and we are always grateful for their hospitality.

As for Thanksgiving . . . I am off to purchase my Turkey today and will fix the whole shebang on Friday.

**Missy** · 11-14-2007, 10:54 AM

ROFL, my SIL (...the youngest one) wants us over for turkey day. Im terrified. I have seen her undercook chicken, out of impatience. So we will go, but we'll figure a way to maybe bring the bird. I dunno.

LOL

**cab54** · 11-14-2007, 11:08 AM

Nah, I wouldn't. Suffer through her meal (gracefully), and then have an immediate (you and SO and kids?) family turkey dinner on the weekend privately. I don't think she'd use the recipes anyway. If she's not used to cooking from scratch, there is a whole lot more to it than just reading.

My MIL cooks like crap, but i have eaten her meals occasionally for 34 years. Now, she is older and I have thanksgiving. Sometimes ya just gotta do what ya gotta do.

**cab54** · 11-14-2007, 11:09 AM

And if her bird is dried oout, at least it's overcooked, (read:safe) rather than undercooked.

**Dancing Lotus** · 11-14-2007, 11:29 AM

YOu guys are right and I already knew it but I was hopeing.

Anyways I just got off the phone with my brother and the reason they want to host is becuase its my nephews birthday and they want to have a big surprise for him. I'm cool with that so I have decided that I will do Thanksgiving on Sunday at my house and then I will consider Thursday my nephews birthday pary and not Thanksgiving. Oh- and she is a self admitted bad cook. She said she doesnt really want to but my brother is pushing it. SO I told her then she should make him cook.

**PAVallygrl** · 11-14-2007, 11:59 AM

Pass the Gravy please! Oh my! Didn't mean to use that much, it came out of the boat sooooo fast! Well, let me just make some more for everyone OK? LOL!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

**Kitten20** · 11-14-2007, 12:07 PM

Well, if she doesn't really want to do the cooking in the first place and knows she is a bad cook, it would probably be okay for you to offer to bring the turkey. IMO anyway. I don't see why she would be offended. But it sounds like you've already come up with a great plan anyway!

Happy Thanksgiving.

**DixieJ** · 11-14-2007, 12:24 PM

Since she admits she's not a cook and not wild about cooking, I would offer to help out by bringing the Turkey and maybe a side dish and see if she takes you up on the offer. I bet she will be glad for the help.

Dixie Jean

**Cricket1** · 11-14-2007, 12:26 PM

Yes, I do think that's rude--sorry. If I was cooking everything whether it be from box or scratch, I would be offended. I agree with the others--see what you can bring. Other than that grin and bear it! Have fun with the family!