kids in Sunday School

**pqb57** · 11-18-2007, 08:04 AM

The following statements about the Bible were written by
the children; they have not been retouched or corrected
(i.e. incorrect spelling has been left in etc.)

1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got
tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's
wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the
animals come on in pears.

3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of
fire by night.

4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history
they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray
by a Jezebel like Delilah.

6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the
Apostles.

7. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients

8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten
ammendments.

9. The first commandment was when Eve told adam to eat
the apple.

10. the seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit
adultery.

11. Moses died before he ever reaches Canada. Then Joshua
led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told
his son to stand still and they obeyed him.

13. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who
lived in Biblical times.

14. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700
porcupines.

15. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she
sang the Magna Carta.

16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived,
they found Jesus in the manager.

17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate
contraption.

18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do
one to others before they do one to you. He also
explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone.

20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and
managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12
decibels.

22. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

23. One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a
taximan.

24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy
acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called
monotony.
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