Wondering if this sounds strange?

**baxjul** · 11-26-2007, 04:37 PM

My dad passed away in June, my mom 3 years ago. My sister is executrix of the estate. We sold the house, and everything is supposed to be split 50/50. When I went up there in June, she already had most of the expensive stuff in her house. All I got was the china, and only because I packed it andgave it to my BIL (dh's side) when I was there. Now, with all of the money we are supposed to each get around $35,000. This should have been settled by now, everything is done. I asked her about it and she said she is working on it, so I said can I have some in advance for Christmas. She sent me $4,000..... out of her personal account!!! I don't like the way it came out of her account. Shouldn't there be a seperate account????? Of course with me being 1400 miles away, she just says, "I'm working on it"! What I'm worried about is that she didn't go thru a lawyer, and my BIL is a gambler big time!!! I'm kind of starting to get worried that they blew the money already. Does this seem strange to anyone else?

**nodmicks** · 11-26-2007, 04:40 PM

Gosh I don't know Baxjul. I only had experience with it once and it was all through an attorney.

**PAVallygrl** · 11-26-2007, 04:41 PM

YES. I would imagine there should be a seperate account for the Estate. You may want to contact an attorney yourself considering that there is a potential drain (the gambler). Be prepared to hand over a copy of the will to the attorney so he/she knows what is what and get ready for a problem with your sister. But better to have everything out in the open than wake up one day to find the entire estate (including your share) GONE

**Cricket1** · 11-26-2007, 04:42 PM

Was there a trust set up?

**baxjul** · 11-26-2007, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by Cricket1

Was there a trust set up?

No everything was in Dad's name.

**annymoll** · 11-26-2007, 04:48 PM

Something stinks. Why did she not split the household items, or sell them and give you your half?Money from her personal account? Pee Yew. Get thee a lawyer, copy of will in hand.(Sounds like she's workin it allright.)

**FrugalMomof3** · 11-26-2007, 04:49 PM

I agree that you should get an attorney involved, this might also make the sister fork up your other part you are entitled to. I sure hope things turn out for the better, keep us posted

**brenda67** · 11-26-2007, 04:58 PM

Sorry to say... but it sounds like you probably already got the sh## end of the deal in my opinion! The estate should have been in a seperate account and you should of known step by step how it all got resolved by the lawyer. This is exactly why my Dh doesn't want anything to do with his mom's estate when her time comes..he thinks his siblings(whom are very good people btw) true colors will shine through with greedyness..If it's true that your share of the estate is gone...not only have you lost your parents you lost your sisters friendship and trust.... I hope that everything works out in the end for you.((HUGS))

**baxjul** · 11-26-2007, 04:59 PM

I don't even have any other relatives to call and ask to check up for me.

**PAVallygrl** · 11-26-2007, 05:05 PM

Get a Lawyer. He/She will do the checking for you. It may cost, but at least you won't be swindled out of your share. If it were me I'd be asking her (the sister) some VERY hard questions and if I got more than a "I'm working on it!" I'd let her know my plans on hiring an attorney to make sure that my interests are taken care of properly. Just the mention of it might spur her to "work on it" faster. I do know that when someone is the executor/executrix of an estate they should NOT be co-mingling the money with their own private funds. That is a hint off the top to me that this is not Kosher.

**baxjul** · 11-26-2007, 05:09 PM

I'm starting to feel kind of sick about this.

**dolphin** · 11-26-2007, 05:45 PM

I'm sorry but it doesn't sound right that she did not keep the money in a seperate account. You need to ask her for an accounting. Tell her you need an accounting right away and ask for a specific time when the proceeds will be sent. If she says she can't do it then ask her why and go from there. I pray the money is not gone. Did she pick the amount of money to send you or is that the amount you asked for?

I did my MIL's estate but it was in a trust and we had an attorney and I still did lots of work. It took about a year to close it all out but mostly because Mom's trust attorney was not very good. But, I kept a seperate checking account, sent small chunks of money as it came in and kept a large chunk of money in the account. I sent several accountings of the details of where all money went and had to file her final taxes before any money could be distributed. I also sent a final accounting.

All of your Mom's and Dad's personal posessions should have been divided equally amoung you girls. If she has some things in her home that you did not get the opportunity to have say-say about and they are valuable then she has to give you half the value of those items.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

**cottageliving** · 11-26-2007, 05:52 PM

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please get an attorney - or at least call one for an initial consultation to see what your rights are. Do you have a copy of the will?

Please keep one thing in mind: your father WANTED you to have 50%, so do not feel bad about ensuring you get your inheritance.

I am concerned that your BIL is a gambler -- this spells trouble. Please get with an atty as soon as possible. Your doing so will NOT make the problem any worse -- the relationship between you and your sister is already affected by her unwillingness to manage your father's affairs appropriately.

Hang in there - and know you are supported.

Sorry about your father passing....

**dolphin** · 11-26-2007, 05:53 PM

For example...we had an estate appraiser come out to the MIL's house and appraise her things. He appraised things at what he thought estate auction value would be. We had to pay dh's brother $8000.00 because dh's brother didn't want any of her posessions but wanted half the value of them.

**frugalfarmwife** · 11-26-2007, 05:55 PM

Ok just speaking from experience, there MIGHT be another reason for this, mind you I said MIGHT.

When my father passed away one of my older brothers was in charge of all paperwork etc, it took him 3 years to get it done. I was never told the reason (I'm just the "dumb" baby sister, but really didn't want to upset what little family ties we have left).

It ends up he just couldn't really face the loss and didn't want to deal with it, he did finally finish everything. Good thing I didn't need the money right away

Hugs, let us know what you find out.

kj