An update on our neighborhood (a/k/a Peyton Lane)

[frugalfarmwife]

Sigh, I am SO SICK AND TIRED OF STUPID PEOPLE!!! The neighbor "woman" is just RUINING her children. For those that didn't see the previous post, she went off the deep end about a year ago, she has 3 children by her x husband who are 16 (boy) 13 (boy) and 12(girl). The oldest has moved across the street with his dad, somewhat a better situation but still not great.

Well in the last year she literally threw herself at my friends husband, stealing him, at the same time she was sleeping with two other men. Of course she got pregnant, move the friends husband in (oh great, instant daddy to her kids who they DO NOT RESPECT) had a baby and is ignoring the older two kids.

A few weeks ago we had the kids tresspassing on the property while we had hunters out there, the kids (4 of them, teen boys) were SNEAKING AROUND IN CAMOFLAGE CLOTHING AROUND THE HUNTERS! She knew they were doing it.

I reported it to the sheriff, had a LONG talk with him about the situation, the kids welfare, etc. I even TOLD him if something isn't done with this 13 y/o boy SOON he's going to end up in the system. Now I LIKE this kid, he's really a GOOD kid but he's screaming for attention which he is NOT getting, mom is to busy with new boyfriend and new baby.

She BS'd her way through it with the sheriff, she can be VERY charming and convincing and she pulled the wool over his eyes.

Well as of today I'm ready to PULL THE HAIR OUT OF HER HEAD!!!!! This son HATES the boyfriend and makes no bones about it.

So what happened?

This kid, 13, got busted for smoking marajuana in the bathroom at the Jr. High with two other boys. So now he's out of school, and she's pawned him off on the boyfriend, having him take him to work with him!

This kid is going to seriously explode soon and it scares me. There is NO ONE in the family that is willing to step up and see what is going on, the grandparents think "it's Gods will, it will all work out" The real dad has a temper and authority problem and might beat the snot out of him. The mom is just an idiot, and the boyfriend thinks he can "handle this", hate to say it but the kid is smarter than the boyfriend.

I HATE being right in this situation, I HATE that this kid is in trouble, my hands are TIED because mom/boyfriend are constantly telling the kids that my hubby and I are bad people. I so just want this kid safe, he has SO much to offer, but honestly? If something isn't done I'm really scared that someone is going to get hurt or worse.

I'm working on wording the situation and calling childrens services, and honestly don't CARE what the mom thinks, this poor kid needs help, he's just screaming for it and no one is listening.

Thanks so much for listening, and any advice on wording, who to contact let me know, help me out here, this kid really needs help NOW.

kj

[Cricket1]

Have you tried calling his school guidance counselor? I'm not sure what he/she can do, but atleast the school will be aware of the whole situation. Maybe they have some sort of mentor program that he could be part of. Just a thought.

[MOMMYDEAREST]

Well I work for cps (child protective services) and if you call them I'm sure they can advise you of what to do. I'm not syaing the situation isn't bad, but don't call the hotline unless you suspect child abuse. I hope things get better. I'm a foster parent, and its a bummer to see kids heading in the wrong direction. Thank god that child has a very concerned neighbor

[frugalfarmwife]

Thanks to both of you, and Cricket thanks for the suggestion of the school counselor, we're a VERY small system here and everyone knows everyones business, so yes the counselor knew the situation. She could not divulge information and I didn't expect her to, but she took note of what has happened around here, agrees with me that he's a good kid going down a very bad path, and urged me to call protective services.

Sigh, she also told me she's not going to be seeing him anytime soon, which confirms what we've heard that he's going to be out of school until at least January, and we know he's already failing some classes.

And Mommydearest, putting together a written overview now to call CPS, thanks, won't call the hot line.

thanks again,
kj

[MOMMYDEAREST]

frugalfarmwife- good luck & keep us posted.

[frugalfarmwife]

Thanks for info on CPS, called them, they did take the information however said unless there are signs of abuse they really can't do anything, and to call the sheriff as needed on things. Sigh, I wish there was a clear way to point out mental abuse and the plain out neglect this kid is experiencing. I'm pretty much drained from the whole thing, it is NOT easy making calls like that.

I will call the kids dad tonight and talk to him, see what we can do to help him in this. He's tried for custody several times but been told he has "anger issues" trust me, dealing with this fruitcake of a mom I'd have anger issues too!

kj

[MOMMYDEAREST]

I have only had to call CPS 1 time, and it took me weeks to get the nerve to do it. But in the long run, it was the best decision for the kids involved. I will keep these kids in my prayers, and thanks for the update

[powerfm1]

Well thank goodness someone is in this kids corner. We are all responsible for children and you're doing everything you can think of to do.

Hope this kid gets what he needs - darn shame.

[ilovechocolate]

Thank you for being concerned about this young man. Does he know that you are concerned about him? Are you available to talk with him and maybe could your DH spend some time with him? He really needs to be with people who care about him. He sounds as though he is desperate for help. SMoking pot in the bathroom at school? If that's not a cry for help I don't know what is.

Our schools have a mentoring program. I agree with the previous poster about checking with the guidance counselor about it. Unfortunately, guidance counselors at school are pulled in so many different directions that they often aren't able to put the efffort into a child that is needed.

[shoiji]

Let us know how things go. Like the saying goes "it takes a village to raise a child".

Good for you for being concerned about the teens welfare!

[leezza]

frugalfarmwife,

You know what you might want to do is go back over
all the posts you have made about this and print them
out making sure they have the date stamp on them.
Maybe that way the sheriff could have some written
information to put into his file, or better yet go over
his head and contact your local state police office.

Put everything into order of contact and problem:

Family Stuff
Kid Stuff
Contact sheriff
Contact school
Contact CPS

You are such a good person to try and help this child.

I know its hard for you but, "You are doing the right thing".

Kind Regards,
leezza

[Michelle68]

This must be very frustrating for you. I hope this boy gets the help he needs. Keep us updated.


--Michelle

[kaykwilts]

Your trashy husband stealing neighbor is going to have a wake up call one day when one of her kids winds up in jail due to her neglect. What a piece of work!

[frugalfarmwife]

She already had to pick him up at the Justice center last Friday, and we're sure there will be charges in this latest incident, it's just sad.

We used to be close to both of the boys, they'd spend a lot of time here with us on our farm, working on tractors with hubby and helping me with the chores.

When the whole cheating thing started I got wind of it right away, gut feeling kicked in and I cornered my friends husband in the driveway and let him have it six ways to Sunday and it was NOT pretty! He didn't deny it and tried to play the "yeah, uh huh, I know, I'm stopping it" card, but it kept happening, so I called his wife, that was HARD, but if it had been me I'd have wanted to know too.

He then moved in with the trash over the hill and we quit speaking to either one of them. They have told the kids that we're evil and dishonest people, not to talk to us, if they even mention us it gets them in trouble.

In fact, he's MAD that no one stopped him from cheating, even claims he's mad at God for not stopping him, HELLLOOOO, I got in his face BIG TIME, how much more of a hint did he need?

Now I have talked to a friend that has a friend on the board of CPS, she's going to talk to her to see if there's anything else at all that can be done, to at least put in a good word to try to get this kid help.

BTW, hubby is FURIOUS about all of it, it's also effecting the other children, now their friends parents don't want them around them because they have to visit here every other weekend. Oh, and paperwork is in the works to change visitation to supervised only for these kids, they don't need to be in the middle of all this crap.

thanks again for all the suggestions and good thoughts guys, this poor boy really really needs all the prayers he can get.

kj

[MarshHen]

Poor kid! How many children are in this family anyway? Please, do what you can to help this boy and the rest of his siblings. It's not gonna be easy, I can promise you that having gone through it myself with my adopted daughter and her four siblings, but it's quite possible that you will be saving the lives of these children.

I agree with the previous poster. Document everything and keep it in a file. Everytime something happens, call someone and make a record of the call. So many of these cases are passed over and the poor kids fall through the cracks until the unthinkable happens and then it's too late.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Some people should not be allowed to breed! Cut it off, take it out.......WHATEVER!!!

God bless you and your dh for helping these children. You are in my prayers that your efforts will make a difference in the lives of these children. Maybe just knowing that someone really cares about his well being may make a big difference in this boy's life as well. We all need to know that someone really cares about us, and it's clear this so called woman (I won't call her a mom) only cares about herself and her needs. And IMHO, your friend is better off without this "Jerk" of an ex-hubby, even though I know it had to hurt her to know he would cheat on her with this heifer. How is your friend doing BTW, since this has happened. Oh, and bless you also for telling her about his sorted little affair. I would expect a good friend to tell me if my scum-bag hubby was cheating on me and they knew about it. The heifer will get tired of him and dispose of him and then where will he be? Don't be mad at God buddy! Maybe God was trying to tell you something when KJ cornered you in the driveway that day, but you wern't thinking with your brain or heart then were you. We know quite well where you were thinking from! You deserve everything you get!

I can see how painful this is for you and I'm here to pray, support and lend an ear.