How do you explain to your children?

**Jamauk** · 12-24-2007, 09:18 PM

When my kids ask for stuff that their friends have I never say "we can't afford it" its something I learned from TWG - as that implies that their friends can have nicer stuff than we can. Instead I try to tell them "we don't chose to spend our money on that, we spend it in other ways."

We try to keep Christmas very simple for the kids - they each got four gifts from Santa and one gift from us. These were all small modest gifts. Trust me, my kids really want for nothing and anything we may have "missed" was definately made up for by one of the grandmothers.

So, when friends start to talk and say "Little Billy" had gobs and gobs and gobs of stuff under tree and DS comes home and asks why Santa left so much for Little Billy and not so much for him - what do you say? I can't really use the "we spend our money in other ways" defense on that one.....

**FYI, this hasn't happened yet, I just want to be prepared in case it ever does.***

Thanks!

**sunshine** · 12-24-2007, 10:09 PM

"Santa knows YOUR parents don't want you to have so much stuff" ( or have such and such item)

"Do you really think you could take care of that many toys?"

"

**FrugalMomof3** · 12-24-2007, 10:26 PM

I use to just tell them that "Santa wanted them to have that but you to have what he gave you"

Now that my kids are older they understand that we can't afford to get them such expensive gifts, they completely understand.

**i.m.cheap** · 12-24-2007, 10:39 PM

We solved that problem by never enforcing the Santa myth to start with. Molly always knew Santa was "made up" like the characters in books. Your family and friends buy your Christmas gifts, and they buy things they think you would like to have.

toile · 12-24-2007, 10:51 PM

Ok now how exactly does this version of Santa work?
With my 3rd child...... and theres a little gap there between the older 2.

I am just so over Santa?
The concept doesnt even make sense now when I tell my toddler ...

How excatly will that play out?
What about school when the other kids do believe?

I dont want to ruin it for anyone whos really into it etc..

**i.m.cheap** · 12-24-2007, 11:06 PM

Originally Posted by toile

Ok now how exactly does this version of Santa work?
With my 3rd child...... and theres a little gap there between the older 2.

I am just so over Santa?
The concept doesnt even make sense now when I tell my toddler ...

How excatly will that play out?
What about school when the other kids do believe?

I dont want to ruin it for anyone whos really into it etc..

I just couldn't bring myself to lie to my child about Santa. It just didn't make sense to me. I told her that some parents tell their children that Santa brings presents, but he is really just make believe.

**sugarbaby** · 12-24-2007, 11:46 PM

When I was a child my mom was insistant on not lying...so when I was 5 and asked her about Santa she was caught off guard! I told her she should be punished for lying to a child & swore I would never teach Santa to my kids when I grew up....I kept that promise and told them the old story about St. Nick & explained it was a game a lot of people played...they understood & it didn't seem to "hurt" them any! Now raising another family I've told them the same thing....! I was wrapping gifts the other night in the bedroom & dd2 who is 6 asked if she could help...I told her no Santa was in there...& she laughed & replied no, dad's in the garage & ran down the hallway laughing! Being truthful is a must!

**redhead68** · 12-24-2007, 11:54 PM

We told our children that we have a deal with Santa that he will fill their stockings and bring them three of the gifts on their list: one big and two small. Santa will not bring anything that we disallow, no matter how sweetly they ask in their Christmas letters.

My eight-year-old is still trying very hard to believe, but she suspects there is more to the story. My six-year-old doesn't have any clue, and he's completely happy that Santa brings his three most wanted gifts. Comparing with other kids has never come up.

**leezza** · 12-25-2007, 12:09 AM

If the subject comes up if ever, maybe you could say something like, "That is what Santa brought for you that must be what he wanted you to have".

I think it's great that you want your kids to have a happy tradition to grow up with.

I still believe in the Spirit of Christmas and I can still hear the Bells : )

Kind Regards,
leezza

**missyali** · 12-25-2007, 12:13 AM

We do a few gifts from us, and one from Santa. Grandparents do MANY! We told our daughter that we are very lucky to be able to buy her things and that she should only ask Santa for one thing as there are others who he needs to bring things to. She asked why other kids get more and we explained that we'd only ask for one since we get so much from others.

**Jamauk** · 12-25-2007, 01:29 AM

Originally Posted by missyali

. She asked why other kids get more and we explained that we'd only ask for one since we get so much from others.

I like that one! And I think its true! We have so many family members and they all love to shower my kids with gifts. I'll explain that Santa knows he is well taken care of.

Thanks everyone for your input!

**Nantahala** · 12-25-2007, 08:59 AM

We only did Santa when we were very little, then mama switched to "Jesus got three gifts so why should you think you should get more?" It worked. *lol*

**kaykwilts** · 12-25-2007, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by Jamauk

When my kids ask for stuff that their friends have I never say "we can't afford it" its something I learned from TWG - as that implies that their friends can have nicer stuff than we can. Instead I try to tell them "we don't chose to spend our money on that, we spend it in other ways."

We try to keep Christmas very simple for the kids - they each got four gifts from Santa and one gift from us. These were all small modest gifts. Trust me, my kids really want for nothing and anything we may have "missed" was definately made up for by one of the grandmothers.

So, when friends start to talk and say "Little Billy" had gobs and gobs and gobs of stuff under tree and DS comes home and asks why Santa left so much for Little Billy and not so much for him - what do you say? I can't really use the "we spend our money in other ways" defense on that one.....

**FYI, this hasn't happened yet, I just want to be prepared in case it ever does.***

Thanks!

This is why I think Santa Claus is maybe not such a good idea. I think kids often wonder why Santa is more generous to other kids than to them.

**amykhar** · 12-25-2007, 11:32 AM

We always told the children that Santa brought one present and family and friends did the rest. But, we also tell them that sometimes its fun for grownups to pretend to be Santa too - so some gifts might be labeled from Santa even though Santa only has room for one toy per child in his bag.

Of course now, the kids all pretty much know the truth. But the rule around here is sort of don't ask, don't tell. If we keep believing in Santa, he'll keep giving

**zakity** · 12-25-2007, 03:02 PM

Santa only brings one or two gifts and the rest are from us. Usually, the Santa gifts were the huge unwrappable ones or the "group" gifts to all three of them.

They know what a budget is and they know that we save in some areas so that we can afford other things. It is all in how we choose to spend our money. They prefer to pack their lunch and do more activities than to do fewer activities and eat lunch out. They also realize that eating out is not good for you. A burger, soda pop, and fries is not a healthy meal.