I am kinda of upset..

**oct2667us** · 12-29-2007, 06:39 AM

I have to send my dd cheer leading coach a note tell her that I can not pay for my dd shoes this month it will have to wait till I get my check in Feb. I feel bad about tell my dd that I cant get her shoes but I have to pay the rent and light bill and phone. Why do sports have to cost so much. they want 50 for her shoes just to cheer in . I feel sports help kids stay off the streets. If my dd did not go to cheer leading she would want to be on line all the time or hang with her friends . And I am sorry teens at this age need to stay busy doing good thing not just hanging around getting in to trouble. even the best teen can get in trouble if they are board. It makes me really feel bad because my teen has been called poor at school before and I am sure this is going to make her feel even more poor. But that is life we have to do with out to live.

**kaykwilts** · 12-29-2007, 06:45 AM

I am so sorry you are going through this. I think it is cruel for other kids to call her poor. You never know when one day you may be in the same situation.

Is there anything you can sell on ebay to get the money for the shoes?

**Daisygirl** · 12-29-2007, 06:54 AM

I have been in your situation. It makes you feel so badly when you want to do something for your kids and you can't. But here is what I see from your post:

1.) You are responsible. You know that as important as the shoes are the bills have to be paid first. A lot of people would scrimp on the iblls and get the shoes and then be at risk of losing their home or their power. What kind of lesson would that teach your child? You are doing a great job prioritizing! WTG!

2.) Kids that do not get everything handed to them tend to appreciate the things they have a little bit more.

Finally a suggestion. Is DD old enough to babysit, shovel snow for the neighbors, etc? My kids are required to pay for a portion of things like that themselves, even if it is only $5-$10. I think if it is not worth shoveling some snow for them, it is certainly not worth my time at work. Then again, se must be of an age that such a thing is possible.

Best of luck and here is hoping a little money falls from the sky for you!

Hugs

**SammeyG** · 12-29-2007, 07:13 AM

I agree that bills come first. Eventhough that my dd lives with my father and step mother I feel like that they aren't teaching her the meaning of a dollar. She isn't even 12 years old yet and already has a cell phone. Also she is tring to con my father into a e-mail address. The frist month that she had the cell phone she ran up an $300-$400 cell phone bill. She does play basketball. This season is the second season that she has played. But her whole life my dd has always gotten in the past what she has wanted. I do know what it is like growing up with hardly any money. It taught me the vaule of a dollar.

**AmyBoz** · 12-29-2007, 07:53 AM

Sorry to hear this, but I'm sure she'll understand and will appreciate the shoes that much more when they come.

**FrugalMomof3** · 12-29-2007, 08:03 AM

I totally understand and agree with the others that bills comes first and yes she will understand the importance of being responsible once she get's older.

**onencgirl** · 12-29-2007, 08:59 AM

I totally understand the situation you are in... hang in there.

**powerfm1** · 12-29-2007, 09:31 AM

I second the snow shoveling and baby sitting solution. I made my kids work for and pay for special things they needed. I was single mom also. Can only do so much.

This all paid off. All of them are good workers, high achievers and extremely vigilant and responsible people.

I'm very proud of them.

**Jamauk** · 12-29-2007, 10:07 AM

I'd like to second (or third) the babysitting, snow shoveling thing.

I am a huge believer in sports or other extra curriculars for the reasons you mentioned above. I know the high school I went to offered assistance for sports because they were so cost prohibitive to many families.

You could maybe talk to the Pricipal or Guidance Counselor to see if there are any such programs at your school or in your community.

((HUGS))

**wildflowerpa** · 12-29-2007, 10:16 AM

I agree that kids have to be taught the value of a dollar and earn an allowance if th want one. My sd was amazed... "a loaf of bread is how much?" We do not allow cells, belly shirts,hip huggers or my space ect. accounts. She tried the latter and now I use an online keyboard.This may seem harsh but with the probems we've had it seems the only way. She also does chores for spending money and chores that she is expected to do without pay. e.g her room and clothes ect. Ok I've said enough to sound like the wicked sm

**Mom23boys** · 12-29-2007, 10:26 AM

I am sure the coach will understand. The bills are more important and you said you would be able to purchase the shoes in Feb.

**oct2667us** · 12-29-2007, 10:37 AM

thanks all for your kind words. I would love to make her work for it. but as far as baby sitting I am sorry I dont trust her enough to let her. that sound bad but she has lied about boys being at her friend house when she was over there. I could not trust her not to let boys go over the house where she is baby sitting. she is not a bad teen I just have to stay one step of her on stuff like that or she will do the wrong thing and she know right from wrong.