It's going to be so much fun.....NOT

[mommy4ever]

Today we are going to SIL and BIL house, for SIL b'day.

Their NEW house, well it's 7yo now. I'm going to sit there, sipping my tea politely, discreetly watching the clock, so that we can go home. Listening the SIL and BIL brag about all the things they have, and bought and plan to buy. Her new leather couches, her new end tables, the new paint job they are having done, their new trailer, their next trip, their next new truck. Blah blah blah.... I want to hear what hteir payments are, is their going to be a 4th consolidation(since they bought the house 7years ago), has she maxed her cards and had to call for them to up her limit? I want to hear when they are supposed to pay their mortgage out. I know their mortgage originally when they bought was only about 100K due to the market they got a really good price for their other house, now BIL told dh it's about 300K+. ROFLMAO


MIL and I will discreetly roll our eyes. It used to be I was the one she'd roll her eyes at.... not it's changed.

We spend most of the summer together with MIL and FIL now, we have neighboring camp sites, so every weekend from May to September, plus 2 weeks. It's been great! She sees our kids alot. She sees that we don't do some expensive things because we don't want to use credit, and she respects that. She's grown tired of BIL crying they are in so much debt, then turning around and buys a new truck, new holiday trailer, trips to mexico. She sees it. She knows our mortgage is paid off in about 6 years or so. BIL has been in his house just as long.... they are looking at 30 years. Everytime the market goes up, they refinance and consolidate, and then spend it all again. When the market crashes.... scary. But SIL and BIL think we're strange. She at one point said to me, "I have no idea how you'll afford to put all those kids through college". We have 4. She has 2. She recently commented that they can't afford the $4K tuition for their son next year....then bought a quad. She brags she makes sooo much money at her work. BIL is sick over their debt. High blood pressure, anxiety attacks. He ownt' quit smoking or coffee(dr said he has to back off, but bil would rather have a prescription) But continues to spend. He finally admitted to dh that he wished he'd been more like us. Yes, we are FAR from perfect we do have debt to pay off. But it's going going down and quite quickly, now. Dh told him we have less than 10 years on the mortgage, BIL said he only wishes, they have 30..they'll be lucky if they pay it off before they retire(he's 40).

But it doesn't seem to be enough. THey need the best of the best. Dh no longer helps them with fixing vehicles. He fixed their truck. The gave us 3 post dated checks to pay for the parts, and BIL said they couldn't afford to pay dh time.... the next week they bought a brand new truck. That was the end of it. Dh will only offer advice, and refers them to a shop. He won't be used anymore.

So, wish me luck this evening, that I don't say something to cause them to be mad..lol. I hate talking money, I hate listening to people brag about how much they make, and buy. That they are so affluent.... when I know they are living a lie.

[frugalfarmwife]

Wow, can I come be a fly on the wall? You could whisper to me and we could giggle

Honestly, I DO understand, went through similiar for YEARS at Christmas with my inlaws, I solved it this year by NOT GOING! I just knew I couldn't keep my MOUTH SHUT and so told my MIL that it would not be pretty and could end up in bodily injury, so she excused me, lol.

Hmm, maybe you could schedule a root canal instead?

kj

[mommy4ever]

Thankfully, we do have an excuse to leave after an hour. dd10 is in a tournament and they have to leave the house at 7am.

You know, I totally understand consumerism! Look at my siggy! I have debt! I know we do. We made some bad choices. But I don't carry on and on. Now MIL was over and knew we got a new stove, and she wants one, so we went over it with a fine tooth comb for her and Fil. But that was at her insistance. We certainly don't cry to anyone that we're broke. there are times theirs more month than money, but I stick to my repayment plan, so we do without. But there is always food in the house, all the bills are always paid. Dh vehicle always has gas. If it's tight, then mine doesn't get filled and I stay home until next pay, or wait and use his.(cheaper to run anyway). Heck dh usually doesn't even realize when we're short..lol. But that's when he gets sent to recycle bottles, and walks out with $40 in his pocket. So then he's good for gas for that week.

They run 2 trucks. She eats out every day as does he. She buys coffee everyday. She shops at her lunch hour every day. They went to vegas, down sized from phoenix, and bought designer clothes, because it was such a good deal. I did some price comparison, so dh and I could have a good laugh, it wasn't that good of a deal once you factor in fights and accomodations and rentals for 4 people( at least $1000 before even shopping, that doesn't include anything but breakfast). They also had to buy more luggage to bring it all back. Umm, I'd rather go on an adventure spend $10 in gas and scour the discount/outlet/thrift shops to get what I want, even if it was $5 more than what they paid per item, I'm still way ahead of the game.

ROFL. But of course, they don't see it the same.

Oh, I'm bad..lol. I'm just tired of them.... Hmmm...think I can have a bad headache and just stay home tonight?

[miss_thrifty]

hehehe I hear ya. I have inlaws like that. they try to keep up with Jones and nothings seems to be good enough always getting more or better.
I'm glad your as COURTEOUS and keep a smile on I couldnt do it. i did it for too many years, then had to tell SIl enough-lol you live the way u want and i live the way I want .
some people where never learn lol

[MomOfTwoGirls]

I'd also like to be a fly on the wall. Ahh, to live the good life, but living the good life and actually having the good life are sometimes 2 VERY different things.

[frugalfarmwife]

With my inlaws it wasn't what everything cost, or "money woes", it was looking down their noses and flaunting what they had compared to us. Well, in the last year BOTH BIL's went bankrupt, MIL is on the verge, baby BIL's wife left him for her boyfriend that lives in his mommies basement. Baby BIL lost his house, moved in with mommy and STILL lets his now x walk all over him.

Yep, and we're the "lowlife no good ones in the family" sure, they can think what they want, but ONE word would have set me off lol, and it would have NOT been pretty at ALL.

We're HAPPY with our older vehicles, older house, farm lifestyle and laid back ways, just don't tick me off or else, lol.

kj

[mommy4ever]

ROFL. I HAVE a good life.

I have a beautiful home, 30yo though, that will be paid off in approx 6 years. I have 4 healthy, intelligent well behaved children. I have food on my table, a roof over our heads. And a husband who loves me. If all we had was our beds and a table in this house, we'd STILL have it ALL.

I wish people would see it the same way!

[Darlene]

So when should I be here for story time tomorrow?
It'll never be enough. They will never be happy, it's sad life they have made for themselves.
Smile knowing you have made choices that give you all you need and more.
Try to go armed with subject changing topics and make the rounds talking to other people. Hope time flies!

[mommy4ever]

BUt SIL family is there, and they are the same way. Except her dad. He was military. He's a very smart man. When he buys, and it is the best of the best, it's paid for with cash. I have NO problem with that. Id buy a new holiday trailer in a heart beat if I had the CASH of it. We're not there YET. I just envision the $0 mortgage. That will free up $1200 an month! Think what we could save for? Then with $0 student loan/cc/LOC that savings, what could it be designated for? College would be paid for cash, everything cash, and retirement funded.

But people live on cc. We prescribed to that train of thought for the first 5 years of marriage.... we're still paying for it, but the difference, is we know the difference.

[JanieD]

We're HAPPY with our older vehicles, older house, farm lifestyle and laid back ways, just don't tick me off or else, lol.
kj

I love this sentence!

Why can't other see that you're happy with what you have & the life you're living? Guess they're to caught up in having it all, but at what price. Health, peace of mind & happiness can't be bought! So easy to see this whenever I read about situations like theirs. Hope times goes really quickly during your visit!

[Momto2Boyz]

I'll be waiting to hear your story tomorrow! We have family that is the same way, so I can totally sympathize!

[sdrjeolsen]

Been there with some "friends." Let us know how it goes! Good luck.

[emily_hope]

Been there with some "friends." Let us know how it goes! Good luck.

Same here. I have friends who have to 'keep up with the Jonses'. Always talking about money. Always talking about their trips. Always talking about how much they spent. Going out to eat. Blah, blah, blah. I am happy with what I have. We have the baby EF or freedom fund, we have the fully funded 6 month EF and we have all our credit cards paid off. We don't have brand new vehicles, but they are paid for. We have a mortgage on the home we live in and we have rental property that has a mortgage (right now it's covered with the rent). I like to hear stories of how people saved money, what a bargain they got and how they managed to pay cash for an item. Or how much time they get to spend with their family because they aren't in debt and don't have to spend every waking moment working their butts off. That is what I like to hear.

Be sure and update us after your visit this evening. Have fun!

[C@rol]

Good luck tonight.
Hope it goes quickly.
Have friends like this so I understand.

[momof42003]

I had the EXACT conversation with my DH about his brother and SIL....

Backround:
We have been married for 14 years, have 4 wonderful kids, bought a house 10 years ago(still have about 15 years left),have a paid off (once brand new) minivan, and DH has a Corvette we are paying on (not that much it is a used Corvette)... My house is decorated in handme downs-the only things we have ever bought new are bunkbeds, one dresser, my computer desk and two LazyBoy recliners that fell completely apart... My home is 30 yrs old, and the carpet needs to be replaced, as well as the fence. For not "having much" I have a home filled with "nicer" things, KIDS and love....

Brother and SIL... Married 8 years this March, no kids, dual income, bought not an older house but brand new before it was even done, two cars they are still paying on-one brand new. They have a $3000 bedroom set, $1500 guest bedroom set *with a $250 comforter set on it*, $3000 livingroom set, probably $1500 in "prettys" for the walls/candles/etc... Top of the line computers (two of them), $3000 tv/bue ray dvd/new sound system and speakers, and the list goes on....

They make just over what my DH makes (they work at the same company), the only reason I know how much they have spent is because they almost brag about it... "Oh look what I just got..." UGHHHH!!! I seriously do not care what they have... Really... What I can't stand is with all this beautiful stuff, they are nasty slobs... Garbage all over the place, dog eats out of their dishes and then they sit all over the place, the dog(a 5yr old boxer) is allowed on all that expensive furniture, just real annoying things... They NEVER clean up after themselves.

I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. I keep reminding myself that I am not eyeball deep in credit, my house has alot more equity in it, and I have FOUR AMAZING KIDS...(They can't have kids.)... I know where you are coming from totally.... Just remember the positives in your life because you DON'T live the way they do...