I Feel So.....STUCK

[many houseapes]

I'm not trying to post a "woe is me thread" & appologize if it appears that way....I'm just frustrated.
I just feel so stuck where we are at. A little background-
I was raised around gardens & animals & we want so badly to be able to move out of the city where we can have that type of life once again.
we moved back to tx 10 yrs ago to better our lives & that of our children & even though dh finally has a more secure job now, we are still having a tough time saving money for a place where we can be self sufficient. Even with our frugality,it seems to be a hopeless situation due to all of the price increases & things happening everytime we turn around that sets us back. Sometimes I fear that if & when we do get the funds to get out of this place, we might be too old to enjoy any of it..........anyone else feel like this?

[leezza]

Sorry you are having one of those kinda days........but one of the most important things I read in your post was that your DH has a secure job, (that is really wonderful and is also very hard to come by these days). I can understand why you dream of having a place for gardening and raising animals but you never know what is in the future, this may be just a stop along the way for you and your little homestead may be just down the road........maybe there is a reason that you are where you are??? maybe someone needs you there, or maybe it is just the right school district for one of your children????

Take care and keep your head up : )

leezza

[perSue]

i have a little dream of my own to move away, live more simply, grow my own foods, have a yard big enough for critters to run about...
I want it SO badly I can "smell the roses" already!

But, I feel "stuck" sometimes too. I want to get outta this place sometimes so badly, I just want to pack up the car & GO!
But I can't...

So I make-do. The days I feel "stuck" I just do something special for myself, reminding me of why I'm here... where I am, in my life, right now.

I have a tiny little flower garden, I grow some foods, it's not much, but it's something. So i'll go tend the garden, or like now it's cold/snowy out, so I tend the herbs/veggies i've got growing inside. I can "pretend".

It makes me feel a little better... sometimes i feel worse.
but i know that any dream i have, as long as i work towards it, i'll attain.

and you will too.
sometimes we've gotta scrimp/save & be misers now in order to have that dream of ours later on...

try to keep in mind the "end-game" and why you're doing this... and don't give up on a dream.

without dreams, sleep would be really boring!
(and so would life!)

[sdrjeolsen]

YES, ABSOLUTELY yes, I have soooo felt that way, for a long, long time. I grew up on the farm and why I married a city boy??? Love is truely blind. We had several close calls as far as moving out to the country, but at the last minute something would happen or financially it wasn't the right timing, I know dh just wasn't ready for it. It really broke my heart and I seriously think I struggled a bit with depression over the whole thing. I am a farm girl through and through, hated city life from day one. Literally cried every day for the first 6 months that we were married even though I was madly in love, I missed the rural life so terribly.

We finally decided after 21 years of marriage that it was now or never and took the plunge, and we had to go into considerable debt to do it. That scares me at times...OY! what have we done?? kind of thoughts. We were completely debt free, we are now in debt for the next 15 years...that's a lot of "retirement savings" time.

The thing that kept me going was every time I'd sock away another dollar into savings or pay an extra dollar on debt, I'd think, I'm one step closer to having my dream.

I do at times feel that we missed the best part...when I'm 65 or 70 do I really want to drive one-lane mountain roads in the snow?? Do I want to worry about being able to get out and to town in time if their is a medical emergency? My two oldest want to live in the city, they never caught the country bug getting to run around after chickens and play in barns.

I totally get where you are coming from, as I've just crossed to the other side. Hang in there, it will happen. Thankfully your dh has a stable job, that is a huge blessing. Just keep taking one step at a time toward your dream.

Also, do what you can where you are at. Plant a garden if you can. We actually lived in subdivisions where gardens were forbidden. Plant some fruit trees, blueberries, etc. if possible. Can you take the kids to a nearby farm and visit or find someone in your church/volunteer group that may have some land and ask them to educate you about things to help pass the time and fill the void? That will put you one step ahead when you do get your place. Good luck!

[perSue]

sdrjeolsen,
what a great idea!
use visiting other farms, etc as inspiration!

Maybe I'll do that too!

[pkellyc]

Take care of your health. Our minds are never too old.
I have a 78 year old mil who has been homesteading in a city all of her life. She still gardens on a small scale and I swear some days she is single handedly saving the city's water supply all by herself. I hear at one point she tried keeping chickens, took a rooster by mistake, which alerted her neighbors to the fact that she was keeping farm animals. Needless to say they made her get rid of them.
I have a brother who taps maple trees and makes maple syrup and candy all in the city. His 1/2 acre yard is nothing but vegetable gardens, flowers and fruit trees. Irrigation systems, weeds and canning jars are all part of his everyday life. He has the heart of a farmer.
For myself I have very little sunlight in my 300 ft. deep lot. You will find squash, cukes and tomatoes planted with my rose bushes, in a small 15 X 3 ft. sunny space.
I call it the jungle.

I would love to have more land, a garden of my dreams and a state of the art kitchen in which I could can to my hearts content. But I do not have these things. I do try to focus on what I do have and bloom where I am planted. Who knows I may have it all some day. I am 47 years old with lots of life in me yet. I count my blessings daily enjoying the simple things and doing what I can do. I too have days where I wonder where my life went but I am still living and worry seldom makes things happen.
So here is a big hug for you today and I hope you feel better soon.

[perSue]

I'm feeling really inquisitive today...

So, why does it seem like so many of us want a respite from the hustle & bustle of "city/busy life"... to live on farms - or at least bigger plots of land to live OFF of. Yet our "modern" world tells us "NO!"

To have a garden, even just a simple one... heck I'd live next door to someone who helps w/the garden and we could split the work, the cost, the foods!

There are places around where you can "rent" your land and "visit" your garden and grow whatever you want... but I hear those are expensive... and tend to be around bigger cities.

That's always an idea too.

[tina150]

I'm so opposite, I want to live in a bigger city, we are in the city now, but not much here

[Edna_E]

...

So, why does it seem like so many of us want a respite from the hustle & bustle of "city/busy life"... to live on farms - or at least bigger plots of land to live OFF of. Yet our "modern" world tells us "NO!"...

I think it has something to do with the same drive for simplification - there IS something relaxing about nature, and about clean simple design lines, and about pale colors. I think many of us are overstressed, and are looking almost desparately for ways to de-stress. I seem to be looking at lots of things at once, which might be less effective than making one change at a time. On a grander scale, say at the societal level, I am of the opinion that it is high time that we start dealing with the fact that our members on average are overstressed and that we pay for this in many ways - stress-related illnesses and medical conditions, poor work-habits in the workplace, poor work-habits at home (affecting parenting in many cases), and so on. I think we need to start figuring out how to combat the increasing stresses so that everyone can be healthier and more productive as well as happier. Unfortunately, I don't have any wonderful ideas as to HOW to combat it at the societal level.

[frugalfarmwife]

I was born in town, raised to be a "lady", yet farming is in my blood, it just skipped a few generations.

Most days it IS wonderful out here, I work on the animals schedule, not mine. I love the dirt, the grass, the trees, the critters, gardening, hanging my laundry, not worrying about what others think.

BUT! There are those days when I crave people, not having to feed 2x a day, cable TV, walking to the store, NOT having to mow, weed, etc, etc.

All in all it is wonderful, but it is also a 24/7 job.

kj

[my4littlebuffaloes]

I am sorry you feel stuck. I think we all feel like that at times and it is hard to get out of it and gain perspective.

here is my example. I want to take a vacation to the beach. We lived in CO and I had grown up in SC near the ocean. I wanted to go back. We had no extra money and it seemed like it would never happen. Finally I decided that something had to be done and even if it was a little I would start saving for my beach vacation. That was 5 years ago!

I have saved my change and rebate checks into my savings and now have aver $300 towards it. We have moved to Ohio now and are a lot closer to the beach. Doing something all this time to reach my goal made it easier to deal with not being able to go. Eventually I will get my family to the beach for a week, but it won't be until we have the cash on hand to do it.

Get a picture of a piece of land out in the country and tape it on the fridge, or on a jar or box. Stick whatever extra money you can come up with in it. Start doing something to work towards your goal. It will definitely make you feel better.

[KJayEsq]

I live in a city and I do enjoy city life. I like the restaurants, bars, shopping, etc. However, my job is very stressful and I am to the point to where I am too stressed to enjoy the other aspects of city life.

I don't really have the country/farming bug, but my dream of "getting out" is to someday own a little house right by the ocean. I would love that. I'd work at a less stressful job, take my bike rides on trails where I had an ocean view, walk my dog on the beach, and smell that amazing ocean air ALL THE TIME.

I would love to do that. Maybe someday I can....

[mikandmari]

Manyhouseapes, I could have written this post. I live right on the outskirts of Wilmington, Delaware. It's convenient to everything, and I can walk to many places... though not after dark!

My big goal is to move about 15 miles west, to Cecil County, Maryland. It's rural, yet I can still drive into the city of Wilmington to my job. But the way prices have spiraled out of control, and with the economy going bad, I can't help but wonder if it will ever happen. If I stay here, I can be debt free (including the mortgage) in less than 5 years. I'm so afraid to make the big move... I remember very clearly how if feels to lay awake at night worried about money.

How do your kids feel about moving? Would they have to change schools? We'd like to move as soon as the youngest one finishes high school. I hope the real estate market is straightened out by then .

[Luv2BeFrugal]

I know how hard you work to keep costs down...and know that things are really weighing on you...

Sending up prayers that you'll get your piece of land soon!

In the mean time...how about container gardening? Maybe sell the rabbits and get a few chickens instead?