late birthdays and starting school

toile · 01-18-2008, 11:07 AM

Can I get you ladies takes on something please.

My daughters supposed birthday lands on the day school starts.
I say supposed becuase her adoption info is all over the place and possibly not accurate.

I suspect she's younger but never really cared one way or the other.

She appears younger than her cribmates adopted at the same time/same age too.

Ok so heres why I ask now.
In GA you have one shot at the pre K thing.
People knock their selves out trying to get a spot.... there's not enough for every child. If you "hold your child back" your not allowed to apply next year etc.. It's a free program but all day long and runs just like regular school but for 4 year olds.

My question is really more about K than pre-k though.
Have any of you held back a child with a late birthday?
Were you glad you did?

I'm just not feeling ready for all day school for her and then the next question is keeping her home 2 more years really.
If we are leary of starting K on her 5th birthday exactly etc..?
She would be 6 if we keep her home until then etc..?

You would think after 3 kids I wouldnt worry so much ha?????

**perSue** · 01-18-2008, 11:13 AM

i finally got my mother to confess about holding me back because of a late bday. the class that was ahead of me was always "my" age - and my then classmates were always younger!
It didn't really affect me at all... it was what mother thought best.
as long as you dont tell her in her school years, it won't meant anything honestly.

however, with K-garten classes, it's ALL about maturity and social skills.
Sure, knowing ABC's & 123's are all fine & good... but would she do well in that type of environment?

If in doubt, hold her back... that's one more year for you to enjoy her being at home.

**MirandaK** · 01-18-2008, 11:17 AM

Myself & my 4 cousins all have late summer birthdays. 3 of us went early and 2 late. I think it really depends on how mature/ready you gauge her to be.

I was the youngest person in my grade and it wasn't a big deal but I was a really early reader.

2 of my cousins were both ready educationally speaking but were very emotionally immature and they went a year later. It really just depends on your little one!! Tough decision for sure.

**Darlene** · 01-18-2008, 11:24 AM

I should have went with my instincts instead of listening to others & hold my son (b'day in Sept)back and started him a year later. We ended up doing it in 2nd grade.
He just needed that extra year and it made the world of difference. Instead of struggling he shined. Now he's an adult (Jr in college), been on the Presidents list at college & is doing better than great.

Go with your gut! Momma knows.

**frugalfriend** · 01-18-2008, 11:43 AM

I was just listening to Dr. Laura talk about this the other day. I totally value her opinion, and when she said she likes Kindergartners to be 6 yrs. old or as close to 6 as possible when they start, it confirmed that we made the right decision. I got the same advice from school admin. too. We held back our September boy, who will turn 6 a month after he starts Kindergarten this August. I am so glad we did it. It was obvious he wasn't quite ready and I have really enjoyed this "extra" time with him.

**stinkbug** · 01-18-2008, 11:50 AM

dd has a late fall birthday and was within 30 days of the cut- off, they allowed testing if you wanted your child placed either way. We waited. Mainly because she and sister are 18 months apart and that would put them 2 years apart in school, not one. They were competative enough, and I didn't want them that close in school. It turned out well. She was one of those kids that needed the extra time.

**Laurie in Bradenton** · 01-18-2008, 12:43 PM

DD has a Sept. 27th Bday and Sept. 1 is the cut off here in our town. We still ended up holding her back in the first grade because she was struggling. Now in the 7th grade she's in all honors classes and straight A's. She's more confident and happy because things are easier for her. We're all glad we held her back even her, althought she'll tell you if you ask that she should be in the 8th grade. lol Its turned into a family joke.

Laurie in Bradenton

**Frugal Girl** · 01-18-2008, 01:00 PM

My daughter's birthday is Oct 6...5 days after the cutoff. And she had to wait a whole year to go to Kindergarten. But you know what? She isn't behind in her school work. She says all the work is easy. I'm guessing it's because she's older and can easily understand it.

I would rather hold the child back and year and make sure they were ready than to watch a child struggle throughout school to catch up or keep up. Not that your child would, but I'm saying that I've seen it happen when children went to school too young.

**Katybird** · 01-18-2008, 01:19 PM

My son's birthday was Sept 2, the cutoff here is Sept 1 (he missed it by 13 hours

) so he started a year later, he was almost 6 when he started Kindergarten but he thrived. He needed the extra year home to be really ready and I had an extra year with him home. We both won

.

**monkeywrangler71** · 01-18-2008, 01:31 PM

My oldest was born in Nov. Back home the cut off is the end of Sept, so she was nearly six when she started. You don't have the option to put them in early, so about half her class was close to 6. I never saw any kids suffer from the late start, although I do know some of the younger ones struggled.

Here the cut off is the end of the year, and they have 2 years of kindergarten. My youngest was also born in November, so she is supposed to start school at 3. My son is supposed to start this year, he will be about 4 years 1 week. I'm not sending either of them.

**monkeywrangler71** · 01-18-2008, 01:41 PM

Oh, and it's the same deal here, you only get one shot, only it's for both years. If I don't send them to Junior Kindergarten the year they turn four, they skip it. If I don't send them to Senior Kindergarten the year they turn five, they skip it. So, if I send them at 6 they aren't being held back, they get dropped into the same grade as everyone their age regardless of their skills or maturity.

**geckoace** · 01-18-2008, 02:54 PM

my son will miss the cuttoff for K with his friends but i have opted to send him to half day everyday PreK he is doing a 2 day a week program now. he is academically ready for K next fall, but socially and emotionally I think he could do with something a little more time. the school he will go to (hopefully) is multi-age classrooms so he will get the best of all worlds throughout elementary school.

What i have always heard is girls who are close to the deadline are often ready and boys even those with summer birthdays are often not. i don't know myself.

i will say I went early and it didnt make to much difference my sister went late and it didnt make too much difference.

I think you know your child best and are better qualified to make the choice than an arbitrary date cuttoff

**StartingOver** · 01-18-2008, 02:55 PM

Our cut off is Sept 1 and my son has a late August b-day. I held him back as I knew he socially was not ready.

It was a hard decision at the time, as all his friends at that time were starting school that fall, and he was going back to preschool.

Never, ever did I regret that decision. He is a 4.0 student, loves school and learning comes easy for him.

Jo · 01-18-2008, 03:10 PM

Same story here...I held my late summer boy out, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. He was already reading and academically ready, but socially he was soooooo not ready. Even now, he's shyer than most(gets that from Dad, not me LOL). He'll be 18 in August, and starting his senior year.
For the original poster...that's a tough one..if you hold her out of preK, she'll miss the education, but since you're not even sure of her birthdate, I'd err on the side of caution. It would be hard to watch her struggle in school or to have to be held back in a "real" grade where she would have to leave her friends or be mocked for it.
In my son's case, he was so academically ready, he would have just been pushed through the system....a walking wedgie waiting to happen.

**Royal** · 01-18-2008, 04:51 PM

Well here in Holland kids start the monday after they turn 4 years old. My son was to turn 4 in September and school started August 25th (this was in 2006) and he just started with the rest of the school, so he was 3!!! I have to say though he is now 5 and a very keen learner. He mind is like a spong. He soaks everything up. He loves to learn and is good at adding and subtracting and he's starting to read.(OK enough with the bragging).
What I'm trying to say that it totally depends on the child.
My youngest son will be 4 shortly and going to school (3 full days, 2 half a days every week) as well. He likes to play, which is quite normal for a 3 1/2 year old. A different situation than with our oldest, and we will have to wait and see how that goes.