Rules for Ohio (yep, they hold true!)

[frugalfarmwife]

THE RULES OF RURAL OHIO ARE AS FOLLOWS
> >Listen up City Slickers!
> >
> >1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
If you don't pull them up I might do it for you!
> >
> >2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
> >
> >3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "dirt road."
> > I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive,
> > you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
If'n ya'all DON'T get out of the way ole Hilde and I will run you OVER!
> >
> >4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you.
> > But they smell like money to us. Get over it.
You DO buy them at the grocery and eat them, so don't give me that "ohhh, POOR cow story
> > Don't like it? I-70 goes east and west, I-71 goes north and
> > south. Pick one.
> >
> >5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn
> > pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
And if you run into them on the road be PREPARED to meet the farm wife that'll kick your butt for it!
> >
> >6. So every person in rural Ohio waves. It's called being friendly.
> > Try to understand the concept.
> >
> >7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are
> > coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand.
> > You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
> >
> >
> >8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want
> > sushi & caviar? It's available at Jim's bait shop.
> >
> >9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
> > religious holiday held the closest
> > Saturday to the first of November.
> >
> >10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.We train our men/boys RIGHT here.
> >
> >11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak.
> > Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of
> > ham & turkey.
> >
> >12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
> > vegetables, and breads. We use three spices:
> > salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you
> > folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
> >
> >
> >
> >13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and
> > served over ice.
> >
> >14. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know
> > how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
> >
> >
> >
> >15. College and High School Football is as important here as the
> > Cavs and the Knicks, and more fun to watch.
> >
> >
> >16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards --
> > it spooks the fish.Hit the bull in the next field over and be prepared for what happens!
> >
> >17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities ,
> > Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an
> > education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at
> > everybody when they come for the holidays.
> >
> >
> >18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
> > Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.Amen to this, we love our country and our men in uniform, and MANY of them are Ohioans!
> >
> >19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap
> > ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we
> > want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.
> >
> >20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T
> > take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska,
> > worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants.
> > The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.
> >
> >A true BUCKEYE & nbsll send this on!!!

kj And the bolding is my personal addition

[karone]

lol, the old superintendant for our schools made the decision to let us have a snow day very close to when schools would open. seemed like he thought we would be safe going to and from school in the busses.

[joyofsix]

Pretty much holds true for rural Indiana too.

[Buckeye5]

LOL!! I thought this was a very true picture of Rural Ohio, loved it!!!

[kittykatstrong]

so funny and very true.

[stinkbug]

Pretty much true for all of rural America....including Idaho!

[luv-my-lexi]

So true... sounds like Oklahoma too!!

[cab54]

As a suburban-but-used-ta-be-rural Ohioan, I got a big laugh out of that! Thanks, FFW.

[eyrehead]

#7 sounds like something my husband would say!! I loved this!! As a rural Ohioan, who lives on a dirt road, and waves to everyone I pass on the road!!

[Holly]

Pretty much goes for rural Upstate NY also

[BetterLateThanNever]

LOL you forgot the 4th food group Green Bean casserol. The official state dish of Ohio.

[perSue]

that's funny!

[AmyMCGS]

LOL! I love the football comment- I really think high school football is a bigger deal around here than pro. Most of the football fans I know can recite stats of the local HS teams.

[Lori Biever-Launder]

It's true for much of Oregon as well. BTW, the FIFTH food group is jello molded salads!