I feel foolish

**frugalandsimple** · 02-10-2008, 01:37 PM

I spent the night at a friend's house because of the weather. In the morning, the kids woke up up before her and her boyfriend did. I was hanging out with the kids until my friend woke up. The 3yr. old wanted to pick out her own clothes so I gave in letting her wear a mini-skirt and long-sleeve shirt. The problem was it was 5*F outside and inside the house was cold. I gave in because I didn't want her to throw a fit and didn't know her very well. I also didn't want o wake up my friend and her boyfriend. However, she still threw a fit because she wanted to wear a short-sleeve shirt. I got a little annoyed because I couldn't seem to find anything for her to wear that was weather appropriate. She doesn't have many clothes. It was a short period of time before my friend woke up and I could tell she wasn't happy with me when I let the kid wear what she wanted. She wanted her mommy too but the kid told me that she couldn't go in the bedroom when they're sleeping.

**cab54** · 02-10-2008, 01:56 PM

Well, I don't know how to say this without knocking your friend, so I'll just say it. I hate when people do this to a guest. Putting them in a position like this and then acting snippy. Even if the guest had to stay due to weather.

Your friend should have been happy and grateful that you were trying to dress her at all. She should have been grateful that you were trying to keep her from having a fit. She should have said "Oh, yeah, I'm behind on the laundry--I'll find something for her." I would have. I would never have been so rude to a houseguest trying to help.

You did the best you could under the circumstances. She should have smiled as best she could (being sleepy), and thanked you for your attempts. Then she should have made you breakfast.

She may have just been annoyed with the kid. Don't take it hard. I think she showed poor hostess behavior.

**IntlMom** · 02-10-2008, 01:57 PM

sorry about that. I hate awkward situtations like that......sounds like you did the best you could.

**Sara Noel** · 02-10-2008, 02:08 PM

Your friend should have been awake with her child in the first place and how sad that a 3 year old feels she can't disturb her own mother's sleep!

**closedpurse** · 02-10-2008, 02:09 PM

Don't feel foolish. Not much of a friend if she takes such a situation so seriously. What if it really was the end of the world??? Sorry but your friend should have been attending to her child herself, not leaving you to manage things. Don't worry a moment longer about this.

**perSue** · 02-10-2008, 02:11 PM

i really wouldn't worry about it.
it's just clothes and the child wasnt harmed.
it probably never occured to anyone "what if..." to give some direction in the morning.
mom's will be upset at things like this, DUH, cuz it's their child!

(we can be a little possessive!)
it'll blow over. so don't worry about it.
however, people should give a heads-up when a guest is staying with them and they have little kids. just set some ground rules, in a friendly way.
that way, when the "what if..." happens, you'll have at least an idea.

**frugalandsimple** · 02-10-2008, 02:18 PM

Yeah, next time, I'll ask if it's okay if I help out with the kids until they wake up. She may of been annoyed by that too. Some parents may not like it when others try to take over taking care of a child without asking.

**Marie78** · 02-10-2008, 02:21 PM

I think it was nice that you were trying to help with the kids in the morning and I agree it's a little sad that the mother couldn't be disturbed by her 3 year old child and then wasn't very understanding that you kind of had to compromise while dressing the child or there would have been a tantrum from the child.

Kids can be quite difficult when getting dressed...I used to nanny for a 3 year old boy that refused to go to bed the entire time I worked for them (several months) unless he had a certain pajama on. Every day or every other day, depending on the grossness of the pj I had to wash it and make sure it was ready for him to sleep in. When the mom tried to get him to wear anything else, he had giant fits that were just not worth either of us dealing with. He wore the PJ and for all I know he's still wearing it every night...LOL I hope not since he would be around 6 years old now

.

**LuvMyHubby** · 02-10-2008, 02:29 PM

I think it was nice of you to entertain and try to help your friends child get dressed. She was probably more annoyed with her child than you but expressed it to you.

Myself I never would have put my friend or any houseguest in the position of looking after my toddler. I would have either already been up and going or most certainly at 3 years old my daughter would have been able to come and wake me if she needed me.

**ballylarkin** · 02-10-2008, 02:56 PM

Well, dressing her child is her responsibility. The appropriate thing for her to do after that fiasco is come out and thank you for taking care of her daughter and apogizing for not being up and with her OWN child.

You did nothing wrong. She doesn't seem very responisble.

**FrugalMomof3** · 02-10-2008, 03:15 PM

I think your friend should have been up since these are her children, not yours. It's not your job to act as the parent because she was sleeping. I hate when people do that and I would never do that to anyone else.

I think she should have been more considerate thinking how you were the babysitter until she decided to get up, she should be greatful.

**LadyBoyd** · 02-10-2008, 03:57 PM

Nothing at ALL for you to feel foolish about. I understand feeling a bit awkward because you have a 3 yr old that isn't even yours, wanting to get dressed. So sad the child feels she cannot go into her parents' room while they're sleeping (door closed is another matter).

Mom should have given the child instruction to not bother you for anything. She didn't handle things gracefully. Ideally she'd have laughed at the outfit her own child picked out (3 yr olds are stubborn and pick out weird things), thanked you for helping, and let her wear it...unless she had to go out that day. The compromise there would have been a pair of stretch pants or tights under the skirt. Inside the house we won't freeze, despite the temperature outside.

You did just fine! It was on her shoulders to show a bit of grace in the situation and it seems she failed.

**momtoadiva** · 02-10-2008, 04:11 PM

I don't understand what the big deal is? not for you but for the mom, for crying outload it's not like you let her go outside like that and if the child was cold she would of said so. If mom didn't like what she was wearing then A. she should of gotten out of bed and dress the kid herself or B. changed her after she got up. Good grief you didn't bring the child in the world to raise she should of kept her dismay to herself in my opinon, the world didn't come to an end just because the child wasn't wearing what she would of dressed her in. Some ppl just over react over small things as such, too bad she doesn't realize she's creating her own stress in life.

**baxjul** · 02-10-2008, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by Sara Noel

Your friend should have been awake with her child in the first place and how sad that a 3 year old feels she can't disturb her own mother's sleep!

I have to totally agree. If you weren't there, would the child have been up by herself? She should be up before her chld, JMO

**sweetlittle** · 02-10-2008, 04:54 PM

No harm done on your part. I feel for you. Like all the other posts it sounds like mom wasn't acting much like a mom. I hope that you got to spend some nice time with the daughter. It sounds like she needs that more than how she is getting dressed.

Relax, you did your best in a loving way.