Childhood fantasy vs real life did it turn out like you wanted?

**frugalandsimple** · 02-11-2008, 05:19 PM

It's completely different. I thought I'd be living in a big house with lots of land. I also thought I'd have all kinds of stuff to fill my big house with. Along with that, I would have a house full of pets. I also thought I would have a great career and making lots of money.

Reality: I didn't realize that everything is so expensive. I work full-time at a job that doesn't pay much and still live with my parents. I don't have much to show for the money that I've earned for working the past 10+ years. I have 3 cats & 2 dogs.

**forHISglory** · 02-11-2008, 05:28 PM

Don't let this posting hijack the thread, but Cab54 asked about the rest of the story on my calf.

My family and I were gone when my calf went down in labor. I had brought her up to barnyard from the pasture so that I could keep a better eye on her. It was her first baby and sometimes things don't go right. And then we had to be gone. When we returned home, I went out to the barnyard to see how things were going. That's when I found her and the pigs. A strange squeaky bellowing sound was coming from her and she tried to thrash back and forth. I grabbed a two by four and began beating on the pigs and screaming. Then when the pigs had run away, I knelt down by her head and picked up that big beautiful head and laid it in my lap. Her huge brown eyes just rolled. My dad heard the commotion and came running out. He took in the situation immediately, and told me to go to the house and get his shotgun. I stood up and said, "Yes! Kill every one of those pigs!" I still remember my dad putting his hand on my shoulder and saying, "Daughter, pigs do what pigs do. You don't punish an animal for doing what it does naturally. But we need to put your calf out of her misery." The pigs had eaten through her belly and womb, had eaten the half born calf, had eaten the after-birth. Although I knew she could not be saved, I railed against the injustice of it all. It wasn't fair! My calf was the victim, and she had to die??? But I trudged to the house and got the gun. My dad said that I could do it, or he would do it, and that I could stay or go. I gave him the gun and turned around to leave. That's when I heard the shot and began to sob. Nothing seemed right: my calf shouldn't have to die that way; the bottom fell out of my college dreams. And the pigs got to live.

A few years later, my grandfather was dying of cancer. It had attacked his liver and he was turning a horrible yellow color. I remember the same helpless feeling that I had when I discovered the pigs eating my calf. And my father's words came back to me: "Pigs do what pigs do." I realized that cancer does what cancer does. And so many other things in life fit the same pattern. Bad things happen. But I can't live my life in bitterness and anger. I have to realize that I deal with it the best I can and keep on going. So although it was a horrible time, I learned some valuable life lessons from this.

As I said, don't let my story hijack the thread. This is a great group of stories that need to be told.

**frugalfarmwife** · 02-11-2008, 05:34 PM

Forhisglory I'm sorry you had to go through that with your calf, but know and understand that sometimes farming AND life can be cruel and unfair. But yes, "pigs do what pigs do", and we do what we have to.

I've never dealt with a situation that horrible in farming, but have had the tragedies of raising livestock and it's not fun.

Your story is very touching, thank you for sharing.

kj

**changed4life** · 02-11-2008, 06:19 PM

My life turned out mighty blessed and pretty much how I planned.
There were many bumps in the road, but they only helped me grow.

**Jskell911** · 02-11-2008, 08:08 PM

When I was small I wanted to be a professional baseball player--LOL. Then from my teens on, I wanted to be a special education teacher.

Reality:

Dropped out of college 20 credits shy of bachelor's degree to have DS and work full time, married loser of 1st hubby, divorced by 26.

Now, still no degree, BUT I have my wonderful DS and a fantastic DH who always reminds me I deserve the best.

Oh, and DS has Asperger's, Sensory issues, and Anxiety disorder. I am pretty sure I would not be a good Spec Ed teacher. So, even though I am a GREAT advocate for my DS, he taught me that.

**Marie78** · 02-11-2008, 08:33 PM

I wanted to be a writer, and publish books for a living. I wanted to have a house (cottage) with a garden and cats. I wanted to have a husband and a few kids by the time I was 30 years old. Of course my husband would have a great paying job, we would live quite comfortably and have no debt. I would remain trim and attractive and be very happy.

I'll be 30 years old in a two months time and I went to college for teaching. Not sure why not writing. I think I told myself I would never find a job as a writer. I didn't like/and couldn't find a teaching job in education. Now I have a 4 year teaching degree and I work as an administrative assisstant. The job pays well enough, with good benefits (hard to complain). I gained 25 pounds in my mid to late 20's and I'm still working on getting back to my thin self. I have two cats, an apartment, a fiance, and neither of us makes enough to live "quite comfortably." There are no kids yet and I don't know if I want there to be anymore. As for the writing, I journal each night and I get the urge to write short stories every now and again. I still might try to publish someday. Of all the dreams not coming true, writing a book is the one I still want to do and will feel I have missed out on something if I don't try to do it.

**Cricket1** · 02-11-2008, 08:36 PM

So many posts here remind me of Rascal Flatt's "Bless the Broken Road" song--which I love. Not related to anything--just wanted to throw that out there!!! LOL.

**Mamaof2rugrats** · 02-12-2008, 11:29 AM

Well I always planned on being a police officer until I got married and had children. As it turns out I got married right after I went to college( and of course quit college) and had my DS not long after. Then came DD and the divorce all within a few years. So that left me a single mom of 2 and back in my hometown in Missouri working my butt off for very little money in a little apartment.
I wanted to be a police officer and then just a wife and mom to many children- homeschool them, live in the country hopefully on a farm., living in the very rural areas of the upper south(Missouri,Kentucky,Arkansas....) I still hold out hope that one of these days that will work out.
Until then, this is okay too.

**frugalfriend** · 02-12-2008, 01:17 PM

forHISglory ~ loved your posts! (Even though the story about your calf made me just about lose it!

)

**FrugalWitch** · 02-12-2008, 06:07 PM

I can assure you that I never pictured spending my life from age 23 onwards being a caregiver for various elderly relatives. I have wasted my entire life taking care of people, emptying bedpans, cooking, cleaning, errand-running and other endless, thankless tasks for 20 years. I have absolutely nothing to show for it. Six years ago the juggling got to be too much and I had to quit my paying job to take care of my Momma. (she's my 5th relative in a row I've been stuck with)

I pictured at least having some fun and freedom. I pictured having job and personal satisfaction. Instead I feel that I was just born to wait on people who do not even appreciate my efforts and sacrifices. I took care of people who's own children wouldn't lift a finger to help. I wouldn't wish my life on my worst enemy!

Nobody daydreams this life when they are young, naive and hopeful.

**momofslg** · 02-12-2008, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by FrugalWitch

I can assure you that I never pictured spending my life from age 23 onwards being a caregiver for various elderly relatives. I have wasted my entire life taking care of people, emptying bedpans, cooking, cleaning, errand-running and other endless, thankless tasks for 20 years. I have absolutely nothing to show for it. Six years ago the juggling got to be too much and I had to quit my paying job to take care of my Momma. (she's my 5th relative in a row I've been stuck with)

I pictured at least having some fun and freedom. I pictured having job and personal satisfaction. Instead I feel that I was just born to wait on people who do not even appreciate my efforts and sacrifices. I took care of people who's own children wouldn't lift a finger to help. I wouldn't wish my life on my worst enemy!

Nobody daydreams this life when they are young, naive and hopeful.

It takes a very strong person who can take on what others can't. I think you should be happy to know that you made a difference in the lives of these you have helped. Have you ever read the book The 5 people you meet in Heaven?
Maybe these people were placed with you for some special reason you may not know yet....
Bless you for your compassion

**momtoadiva** · 02-12-2008, 09:36 PM

I too comend you FrugalWitch...you truly have sacraficed for others, I think that something amazing will come of this, you certainly deserve it. You are much stronger than I am taking on so much.

**forHISglory** · 02-12-2008, 11:56 PM

FrugalWitch, my heart goes out to you; it goes out in admiration. Not too many people anymore do what you have done. I understand how you might feel cheated at life, but you are doing far more dedicated living than most people. Your life has NOT been a waste; you are here for a purpose, and that purpose is compassion and reaching out. Few are called; few can do it. Take care of yourself.