Need some ideas about son (LONG)

**shellyrporter** · 02-12-2008, 06:37 PM

I know I am new here BUT I thought this would be the place to go for a little advice. I have 4 year old twins. One of them has always been slightly behind. Speech problems, couple months later walking than sisters, minor things or so it seemed.

Last year I started getting the feeling that something was wrong. I thought it seemed like he might be slightly autistic. But then, he started doing a lot better so I pushed those thoughts out of my mind.

Well, you guessed it, in the last month things have gone downhill drastically.
He goes to public preschool. All of a sudden we started getting notes home daily about how bad he is doing and behaving. He makes noises all of time, doesn't want the other kids, except his sister, to talk to him, the teacher said she had to separate him from the other children, etc.

I had a meeting at school on Friday of last week. Both his teacher and his speech therapist said he has steadily regressed this year, especially lately. Before the meeting I had already scheduled a doctor's appt. with his pediatrician. Long story short, the doctor suspects autism. If he doesn't test for autism then he said he might have ADD but he expects autism.

What am I in for???? He would definitely be functioning so a mild case BUT the doctor said also that he may have to be removed from the school environment he is in because he just can't handle it.

To top it off, the place that they wanted to test him it WON'T accept my insurance. I am about to cry and in the meantime am waiting quite unpatiently to find out what alternative they will give us.

Sorry for the long vent but I just want to know what to do and/or expect.

Thanks

Michelle (If this is in the wrong place, I am sorry. I didn't know exactly where to put it.)

**Michelle68** · 02-12-2008, 07:01 PM

Michelle, I don't have any experience with autism, myself, but I found a site with many links for info: http://nichcy.org/resources/autism.asp Our DD does not have autism, but because of a brain injury at birth, does have learning disabilities and also was slow to walk and talk. I remember getting calls from her kindergarten teacher every single day because of what she was doing "wrong", so I know a little of what you're going through. She's now 19 years old and graduated from high school and working at a fast food restaurant, a job she's loving. I'm sending big ((hugs)) your way. BTW, here's some more info I found for a support group in your area:

Advocates For Autism Awareness
Charla Dewitt
1012 Cliffwood Drive
Bardstown,KY. 40004
(502)349-0214
Nelson County

Good luck and keep us updated.

--Michelle

**Cricket1** · 02-12-2008, 07:19 PM

First of all, big hugs coming your way. I have a son (doesn't have autism), but has some special needs--partially deaf and has an articulation disorder.

Keep on top of doctor's office to help you find another place that he can get tested and will accept your insurance. Also, my son is in public preschool and has had friends that were assessed and tested for autism and the school provided it--I thought they had to by law. I would check into that possibility, also.

Good luck. We're here for you if you ever need to talk.

**FreesiaE** · 02-12-2008, 07:42 PM

If he does have any problems see if you can get him into a head start program. That way all therapy issues will be paid for by the government. Once he gets to public school age immediately get him an IEP. It is a legal document that will ensure his rights are being met and will give clear and definable goals. The public schools will also be required to give therapy if it is in his IEP.

**momtoadiva** · 02-12-2008, 08:04 PM

I have zero experience with autisum, only what I learned it my psycology class sorry I wouldn't be comfortable giving advice. I do want to send you big hopes that everything pans out and your son and your family are able to get needs met. *hugs and keep us posted

**Jskell911** · 02-12-2008, 08:37 PM

My 11 yr old DS has Asperger's Syndrome. This is a high functioning Autism. Have them look into this as well. Early intervention is super important. Unfortunately, we didn't get a diagnosis until he was 8. BUT we learned so much!

Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions.

Good luck and hugs to you!

**mom2bobsarah** · 02-12-2008, 10:01 PM

I have a 5 yearold and due to his birthday he had to do 2 years of pre-school. Well, last year it was a battle every day, there was always some kind of problem. We send him to a Christian school so they are not as quick to assume that there is anything other than age at play. Some kids are emotionally "younger" than others. This year, he is a whole new kid he loves school, is able to sit still and pay attention and so forth. Were he in public school I feel strongly that he sould have been labeled as Asperger's, I have gotten many books on it because I was thinking that may be his problem. He is very quirky about things being "just right" and if they are not. he loses it. He does not have temper tantrums per say, he just loses control, emotionally. I am so thankful that he has the same teacher this year as she understands him and his quirks and she chalks up his problems last year as being just a little behind emotionally. I like the fact that they are not jumping to have him "classified" yet. At 5 they are still young, I am not saying that it might not be prudent to check things out, but keep in mind that all kids are different and have their quirks. I think that the school systems are very quick to tell us what is "wrong" with our children these days. Your son could just be having a hard time adjusting to school for various reasons. It is like pulling teeth trying to get info. out of my son, but sometimes if you talk to them you might get an idea about what is going on. If he does not like change, it could be that he is having trouble transitioning to different activities, this doesn't necessariliy mean he should be considered autistic. Our schools around here get a lot of additional funding for each "special needs" child they have and I think that factors into some of the screening that they do. Now, with all that rambling said, please do not think I am one of those parents who think their kids are perfect and can do no wrong. My son is different than a lot of other kids, especially from my daughter, but I have also found that he is very similiar to many other children as well. Last year, he could not tell you the names of the kids in his class, this year he has several good friends. I know this was long but I hope that you were able to find some help in this long-windedness. Good luck with your sons.

**zakity** · 02-13-2008, 01:51 AM

If he is before school age, then the school system has to put him on an IFSP (individual family services plan). It is a "preschool" IEP basically. That is what one of my twins was on. He had speech and OT for some delays and OCD issues.

Call the school district and tell him you need him checked out through the EI system.

**powerfm1** · 02-13-2008, 05:54 AM

Also check your county resources and see if there is an autism group in your area. Your local United Way should be able to help you find resources, the resources will help find doctors. If you have a favorite hospital, call there and see what they have.

My nephew has Asperger's and is doing great due to the Autism Society in me brothers town. Lots of work, lots of love but it is paying off.

**forHISglory** · 02-13-2008, 10:43 AM

My grandson is the same age and having the same problems in preschool. They suspect autism, but also suspect ADD and just being emotionally hyper. It's difficult for them to make a true diagnosis. They have put him on medication, which seems to help him focus. I was worried that he would keep hearing "You are a bad boy" and then start to live up to it. The medication is allowing him to function more normally and he is no longer having so many problems. But I worry about the long term effects of medication, too.

I know very little about autism, so I'm not qualified to make any suggestions. I can only suggest that you check out all county and school district opportunities, and talk to your doctor about changing the testing site so that your insurance will cover it.

**sixfreds** · 02-13-2008, 10:50 AM

1st step is to have him tested, You can start with your primary care Dr. they can start some of the testing, there are things you will have to fill out and the school will have to fill out and then it gets compared and then tests your son will have to do.
Call the dr and ask him if he can do the testing if not ask him if he can suggest someone who can do the testing that will take your insurance.

I have tripets 2 boys 1 girl. 1 of the boys have a form of autism, it makes life a challenge BUT you need to do testing 1st that will tell you what the next step is.

Good luck!
Eileen

**perSue** · 02-13-2008, 11:01 AM

i'm sorry that i have no advice to offer. however, i can offer a "listening ear" (or eye as the case may be) and support you this way.

i hope you and your family get everything you need from the school, dr, specialists, and other organizations.

(btw, that might be another idea. check & see if there's an Org in your area that specializes in this area and see if they can help you.)

**my4littlebuffaloes** · 02-13-2008, 11:28 AM

Michelle, I am so sorry you are going through this. I have a son that is special needs on the autism spectrum, but not autism. There is a wide range of problems on the autism spectrum and getting a professional is key here. You have to have a correct diagnosis, from someone specializing in this. There are probably other centers out there that you could go to. Talk to your pediatrician again, call them, and tell them the insurance situation and see if they have another recommendation. You need to get help as quickly as possible for your ds and it can be very overwhelming, I know. Good luck and big hugs, I know it is very hard to deal with something like this.

**shoiji** · 02-13-2008, 11:49 AM

Just want to send you hugs and good thoughts that you receive the support needed.

**shellyrporter** · 02-13-2008, 06:23 PM

Thanks everyone so much for all of your input. I greatly appreciate it.

Cricket: At my meeting at school they told me they can test BUT it would not be as thorough as a true center that specializes in autism testing. For that reason I want to go through a center.

Freesia: We don't qualify for head start. We were given that as an option when we were told that he qualified for pre-school due to speech and socialization issues. Next year he will be in kindergarten. They already told me they were putting him through and he will be in a class with lots of one-on-one from teachers and aides. He does have an IEP already because of his qualifying to go there.

Jskell: I truly feel like he has Asperger's syndrome. When we went to the pediatrician Friday I ran out a list of the symptoms and marked them for the doctor. He has 21 out of 27 symptoms. I would love to PM you BUT I don't know how. That sounds pretty silly doesn't it.

momtobobsarah: Blane is in his 2nd year of preschool now. Actually the teachers didn't suggest autism at all, I did. But the teacher did say that she has been teaching for 25 years and truly thinks his is more than behavior as did the pediatrician Friday just from how he was acting while we were there. The whole time he clicked his tongue, or hummed, or sang, or made little noises. It was way more than I have ever noticed before. I am so glad your son is doing well and we may go through the same thing because the doctor said he just may need a different environment to handle school.

zakity: I asked the school Friday to do a consult for OT. Unfortunately he probably should have been getting it for the past 2 years.

forHISglory: Good luck with your grandson!!!

I talked to the dr's office today and another testing facility is going to call me tomorrow with an appointment. They don't take my insurance either but as they are only one of a couple in Louisville, KY they said they will get a waiver from my insurance co. and be considered In-Network. I will let everyone know when he gets tested.

Thanks again!!

Michelle