Don't believe in soul mates?

**mikandmari** · 02-15-2008, 12:23 AM

This is a curiosity question. I noticed on the Valentine's thread that some people said they do not believe in soul mates. Some just consider themselves to be best friends with their significant other, but not soul mates. I'm wondering why this is... and what you'd consider the difference to be

.

I believe in soul mates, and I know I'm with mine. It has always seemed like destiny that we would find each other. We joke that if we had any more in common our marriage would be illegal. We've been together 24 years, and often go a few years at a time without a single argument. It seems almost odd.. but we often can read each other's mind... little things, like I'll be thinking of pizza, and he'll bring home pizza..

I don't think of myself as some new-age karma freak

maybe I don't understand the real meaning or definition of 'soul mate'?

**IntlMom** · 02-15-2008, 12:44 AM

I might be willing to believe in soal mates, but I would say that it's safe to say that I am NOT married to my soulmate. Now, I have been married for 15 years, and I am anticipating many more years to come. But our marriage is not easy, and often not fun. We argue, he is an "angry person" in general, so I am often the recipiatant to his temper. He isn't violent, just an angry and impatient person in general. This is not what I had always dreamed of as a child. I love him, and he loves me, this is just his temperment........I just don;t feel like we have that "connection" that ppl talk about. Oh well, it has caused me to lean even more heavily on my Jesus, to let him meet my emotional needs.

**kittykatstrong** · 02-15-2008, 02:22 AM

I do believe in soul mates. I also think that 2 people can have a good marriage with out being soulmates

**OzFreeBird** · 02-15-2008, 03:40 AM

There probably are soulmates for each of us but I"ve never found mine.

**SweetPea** · 02-15-2008, 05:48 AM

I believe in soulmates, and I'm so thankful that I found mine. We will be celebrating our 25 wedding anniversary this summer, we've been together for close to 30 years all together.

**joyofsix** · 02-15-2008, 06:50 AM

I don't believe in soul mates. I can't believe there'd be just one person on earth I should be with. I think there are lots of combinations of people that could be wonderful, it just depends on who you meet and when.

**jamie79** · 02-15-2008, 07:29 AM

I agree with Joyof six. Dh is my best friend. That comes from being with each other most of our adult lives and the things that we have gone thru. We were not hit by lightning bolts or anything when we met. It was a gradual thing.

**Ceashels** · 02-15-2008, 08:36 AM

It took me 39yrs to find the guy I was supposed to be with. I waited until he came along. I knew within the first day that we were supposed to be together and we will be celebrating our 5th anniversary this year.

Is he my best friend? he is more.
Is he my soul mate? yes, because there isn't a different word that describes it.

I have other friends who married the guy who had what they wanted, they looked good or made the big bucks, or happened to be willing to get married. Many, the majority, of these relationships have a lot of difficulty. And the difficulty is with big and little issues. DH and I haven't had a fight since we met. We disagree on occasion and we do "p*ss" each other off now and then, but our relationship is not difficult.

I am very Blessed to have found him.

**PrairieRose** · 02-15-2008, 08:43 AM

I'm not sure about the word 'soulmates'. I tend to use the term 'love of my life' more. That most accurately describes what I feel about Gripey (he chose his handle b.t.w. not me). What we have comes from years and years of marriage, history, struggles, hard times and good, ups and downs, growing and learning. It's the deepest connection I've ever known with another living being. I love him with every fiber of my being. We have differing views at times and can even get on each other's nerves on the odd moment. But we are connected on an almost cellular level. I can never really fully understand the term soul mates.....sounds like a concocted term to me....almost.

**Cricket1** · 02-15-2008, 09:05 AM

I completely agree with Lisa--dh is the love of my life and, yes, our paths have crossed many times before we actually met each other. I think the same could be said for a lot of people. I don't believe in "soul mates" because I don't believe that there is just one true person for each of us. God forbid, a spouse dies--I would like to think that the surviving spouse COULD get remarried to someone that they fall madly, deeply, in love with.

I think there are a lot of people that I could marry and there are a lot of people that would make for a disasterous marriage. In my relationship, my love has grown immensely. I love him WAYYYYY more than I did the first year we were married and we've now been married for 14 years. We finish each other's sentences, etc. I think that would come with time, anyway.

**suki** · 02-15-2008, 09:16 AM

I agree with Prairie Rose... the term soulmates is ellusive at best. It means something different to each person.

Truly, I really consider hubby and I to be kindred spirits. But, I would not argue against defining us as soulmates.

Out of curiosity I "googled" soulmate definitions and came up with some interesting stuff.

http://www.soulmaterelationships.com...definition.htm

http://solvedating.com/soulmates-definition.html

[ame]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate[/ame]

My second marriage is very different from my first. It doesn't take work. It's not hard. We don't fight (in 11 years I can count the number of arguments on 2 hands). There is no resentment, no hurt. I never knew love and marriage could be this easy. To me, this means we understand and respect one another deeply... perhaps that means we're soulmates.

**stinkbug** · 02-15-2008, 12:29 PM

In the article about twim flames...I actually had a counselor once tell me dh and I were together in a past life. I thought it was weird for her to say as we were talking about something else at the time. I do feel like I've known him forever and really don't have much memory of my life before him...I just know that life has been better since I met him.

**Dancing Lotus** · 02-15-2008, 12:52 PM

Absolutly_ my dh is my twin flame.

Hands down, we have been together before and we will met again. MY greatest pain is when we are apart and my greatest joy is when we are together.
I have enormous pride in everything he does, and he swears he couldn't do a thing with out me.
He knows things about me I don't even have to say.

I am not saying that I couldn't have married someone else and been happy. I think that there can be a lot of people that would be a good match. There are a lot of marriages that are good , strong and healthy. But only a few that are the ultimate. I have the ultimate and if you don't believe then you just don't have your twin flame. And thats okay, becuase the odds are you would just spend the rest of your life lonely if you were only willing to except the ultimate.

Probably TMI but dh and I almost missed by a hair. When I was 16 we were suposed to move to an Island. I had a dream of a guy with long hair , plaid shirt and a black jeep. This guy showed up at the airport and told me not to go.
When the time came to make a choice about moveing my Dad left it up to us to vote about it. Before the dream I would have said YES, but after the Dream I voted NO. MY vote we the deciding vote and we didn't go. That Year I met my dh while he was driveing a black jeep in a red plaid shirt.

**cab54** · 02-15-2008, 01:05 PM

Nope. Don't believe in the concept. I've seen too many people who felt they were a soul mate with an SO and then things..........changed.

I think maybe these people have a certain chemistry with someone and maybe that will last for life, but.........

I think we're all just here on earth to do as much loving-kindness as we can do for others--all others.

**acidcookie** · 02-17-2008, 12:39 PM

I think my boyfriend and I are are right for each and we have something great that we can't find in just anyone. But "soul mates" is a concept lost on me. That doesn't mean I'm bitter or that our relationship is not full of love and appreciation.

Frankly, the idea bothers me because it pressures people (mostly women) to find THE ONE. The idea that there is just ONE right person makes the whole thing sound like we're on a hunt and hopefully we don't miss out.