90% of my time is waisted on.....

**Dancing Lotus** · 02-17-2008, 01:46 PM

waiting for other people. I am getting so tired of waiting for other people to show up or decide what they want to do.

Yesterday I waited all day for my dh to get home, when he said he was only going to be a few hours. Today I have done pretty much the same. He left at 8am for two hours, its 2 o'clock now. We were suppose to have friends for lunch at noon , when I called to tell them dh wouldn't be here until later they said they were coming anyways. I have now been waiting on them for two hours. Why do people think its okay to just put me off? Why do people think that I don't have anything better to do? I guess I don't.

I think it's time for me to start making people wait on me. I'm just too nice to do that.
I feel like such a push over.

**acidcookie** · 02-17-2008, 01:52 PM

Oh I hate that! I once had a friend who would always be 2 hours late. When I was irritated about it, because I too find it rude to just be so late and not even call, she acted like I had the problem. "Why are you so uptight?" Two hours?! We get along great online (we are always hours and states away from each other), but I know better than to plan anymore trips with her.

I feel too bad making others wait, because I don't want to be that person too. I have a similar problem, like waiting for someone to be done with whatever to go eat or to start something. Then I'm starving and I've wasted time. I've vowed to take care of myself when I'm being forced to wait.

**Darlene** · 02-17-2008, 02:02 PM

You have to let them know that it's not OK. Don't be nice about it. Let them both know that when they do that it is rude & it hurts your feelings.
People will walk on you if you allow them to do so. I don't care if you are sitting around eating bon bons all day, when someone says they are going to see you at a certain time, they better be there. You are worth the respect so demand it.

**perSue** · 02-17-2008, 02:21 PM

well for me there are always options.
i have some flaky friends who i know to tell to be somewhere at 10am & know they'll show up at 12pm. it never fails. always 2 hours late!
so, if i'm at home, i do housework or crafts. i engage myself so i dont start to boil over.
then when they do end up arriving, I act as though they interrupted/inconvenienced ME!

it's a guilt trip, I know. but it keeps my blood pressure from spiking and me waiting with the forks and knives at the door!

LOL

sure, we all like to be ready when "the time comes" but don't sweat it. it's really not worth your being upset.

so i'd honestly set out some chores to do or crafts or organize something. it's getting something done that needs done, keeps your blood pressure at bay and keeps you occupied.
and you can be the one inconvenienced because THEY are late, and you already started doing something else.

(((hugs)))

**leezza** · 02-17-2008, 02:26 PM

Ann,

don't be there when they show up......or be doing something else and don't answer the door.....if they call you or you decide to open the door just look at them or say sorry I figured you decided not to come because it was getting so late!!!

I am sorry but I think this behavior is just RUDE.......

I have to say I am a little surprised with your hubby......being the knight that he is.....have you ever told him how much it bugs you????

Good Luck,
leezza

**halloweenfreak** · 02-17-2008, 04:04 PM

oh my gosh i hate that! i think im a magnet for people like that. the only thing that irritates me worse, is when they tell you they're going to do something on a particular day, and then they dont. (ive been waiting for a friend to come pick up a treadmill, ive been waiting for 2 weeks now!) do people realize they're being rude, or are the totally oblivious??

**Cricket1** · 02-17-2008, 04:09 PM

Do you have your own car? If so, I wouldn't be sitting around waiting for anyone. DH or the friends--just leave a note saying that you went out and will be back in a few hours.

**Persimmon Lace** · 02-17-2008, 04:27 PM

I don't wait for anyone. My nephew can't make family dinners on time, we give him about 5 minutes after the time he's told and we eat without him. Dh had to "visit" at church knowing we were waiting on him to go to lunch, I left a note on the door and took off. When he called me I told him where to meet us. He can't say much he's the one that gets hacked at my nephew for being late for dinner!

I have a friend that I tell 11:30 for lunch and then I don't get there until about 11:45, she still can't make it on time but she's getting better!

**mmy2grls** · 02-17-2008, 07:05 PM

I don't wait for anyone.

Recently I had plans to take my kids to a winterfest carnival. My ex boyfriend wanted to go and I told him we were leaving at 10 am. We left without him at 10 am and when we got back at 7 pm he was mad. Oh well I said 10 am plus I got myself and my kids ready.

I see no excuse especially if you have to worry only about yourself, why can't you be on time?

**Dancing Lotus** · 02-17-2008, 08:08 PM

I should have said that it's not hubby's fault , he is working. He would never keep me waiting for no good reason. It just happened that two days in a row his schedule did not go as planed.

**Marie78** · 02-17-2008, 08:17 PM

I have to meet with people at work on a daily basis and 9 times out of 10 I am the one waiting for people. My biggest gripe is this one woman who listens to all of her phone messages while I am in her office waiting to meet with her so I can get on with my day!

**Libby** · 02-20-2008, 07:42 AM

My gf in school used to do this to me. We'd plan to go out for dinner in her area of the city, I'd make the 40 min trek and then get stuck waiting anywhere between 30mins - 1.5 hours. It got so bad that no matter what we planned, a trip where it needed her to be ready by a certain time or reservations....if she wasn't there within 15 mins of me calling her to let her know I was waiting downstairs....I'd leave and either go myself, cancel the plans or go back home. This is while I was calling her with updates of where I was on the highway TELLING her that I was almost there and to get her butt downstairs!

She knows I wont wait long. I'd rather go home then having to go do something after waiting and hour for her.

**changed4life** · 02-20-2008, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by Darlene

You have to let them know that it's not OK. Don't be nice about it. Let them both know that when they do that it is rude & it hurts your feelings.
People will walk on you if you allow them to do so. I don't care if you are sitting around eating bon bons all day, when someone says they are going to see you at a certain time, they better be there. You are worth the respect so demand it.

I have to agree with Darlene. We seem to live by the same motto!