fertility Treatment

**Sari** · 02-24-2008, 10:08 AM

I don't agree with certain procedures (selective reduction for one), but DH and I did pursue some treatments.

**guest002** · 02-24-2008, 10:16 AM

I probably over share my IF journey. I can't tell you how many times another infertile woman was comforted by my story. I've given advice, helped out with reference/recourses, etc. I don't come out of the gate with all the gory details but will state that I had my children due to IVF. That will usually be enough of an opening for anyone who wants to ask a question. Heck, I've gotten husbands asking questions. I don't mind sharing because someone shared information with me and that helped me start my journey to seek treatments. Knowing that I could do something more than hope and try was very comforting.

Esp. for miltary couples it's nice to share information. From year to year things change in our medical system. There are 4 military hospitals that do IVF and it's at a more affordable rate than civilian clinics. This isn't a well advertised fact and word of mouth is how you find out.

Have I offended someone in mixed company, maybe. Do I care, not really. I can't tell you how many times a fertile person stuck their nose in my business when I was infertile and TTC. When are you going to have a baby? Haven't you had a baby yet, etc. We all say things we shouldn't at times.

**sixfreds** · 02-24-2008, 10:32 AM

I agree it is a personal decision. Adpotion is a great idea, I would have done that IF I had enough money I never felt like I had to have a baby myself I just wanted kids BUT the cost of adoption is HIGH!!!! Insurance paid for all of my treatments and meds...

eileen

**momofslg** · 02-24-2008, 01:33 PM

I didn't mean "SHOULD" in a condescending way. I only mean that if you aren't able to conceive on your own, then you should be able to use infertility treatments if that's what you want to do. Every person has to decide what is right for them.
I am a firm believer of adoption, my Mom was adopted because my Grandma and Grandpa couldn't have children. If it weren't for them adopting Mom then I wouldn't be the woman I am today.

**Hannahs mom** · 02-24-2008, 05:26 PM

I think fertility treatments are fine - everyone should have the chance to have a child of their own. My DH's cousin just delivered her miracle baby last month. He was the result of 7 IVF treatments.

**IntlMom** · 02-24-2008, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by Hannah's mom

I think fertility treatments are fine - everyone should have the chance to have a child of their own. My DH's cousin just delivered her miracle baby last month. He was the result of 7 IVF treatments.

Ok, so I just have to split a few hairs here, I am not picking a fight, this just needs to be mentioned:
MY CHILDREN ARE MY OWN!

**Hannahs mom** · 02-24-2008, 06:24 PM

IntlMom - I totally agree that your children are your own. If you raise and care for a child (regardless of who birthed him/her) , I consider that child to be "your own". Sorry if you took my post wrong, that was not intended.

**IntlMom** · 02-24-2008, 07:44 PM

Originally Posted by Hannah's mom

IntlMom - I totally agree that your children are your own. If you raise and care for a child (regardless of who birthed him/her) , I consider that child to be "your own". Sorry if you took my post wrong, that was not intended.

Thanks. I actually wasn't offended, it's a "slip" that many ppl make......it;s just kind of a soapbox of mine!

**coup** · 02-25-2008, 10:10 AM

Here's my story and my 2 cents:

1, My twins are a direct result of the injectible meds that are available. I knew early on that getting pregnant would be a battle for me. I was lucky and became pregnant on the first cycle of injectibles. I say lucky becasue it was an emotional roller coaster to be TTC.

2. Infertility sucks. There is no simpler way to state it. For me, it consumed my every thought and how I viewed the world. No matter how hard I tried to push it aside.

3. So, based on #3, each couple needs to decide which option they are going to pursue: infertility treatments? adoption? foster parenting? life without children? Maybe you establish a timeline...we'll do treatments for 1 year....then proceed with adoption paperwork.... Maybe we'll try adoption & infertility treatments at the same time. Whatever works for both of you.

The cost of infertility is high. I'm talking emotionally. I can't tell you how many baby showers I skipped while experiencing this. Even family birthday parties . Then there's the dollar cost. If I hadn't had insurance. my meds for one cycle would have been $2000 - $2500. IVF was $10,000. I don't know the cost of adoption, but I know it is high. I know I wanted children so badly that if my cycle had to be converted to IVF that I was (yikes!) willing to put the $10,000 on my credit card.

And going back to the comments people make about multiples. My least favorite was "Are they natural?" Um, yup! They're not aliens! Or "Are they identical?" (They're boy/girl twins.) Nope, they have different plumbing!

**mommy4ever** · 02-25-2008, 10:43 AM

I feel everyone should be able to have a family of their own. Whether they are conceived naturally, with fertility treatments, or adoption. No one has the right to judge you for whatever decisions you make.

Those who chose fertility treatments should be aware of the possibility of multiples. They should be informed that multiples may be more than 2 or 3. And then need to be prepared. getting help involved if needed.

I don't know, people have judged those that don't chose to have selective reduction. And if they chose to have, they are judged as well. That is a very personal choice, one they have to live with for the rest of their lives.

People have made comments on Jon & Kate trying again after already having twins. That they should be happy having 2, and they were wrong to try again. They didn't figure they'd have 6 more, they thought 1 or 2 more. Who are they to judge them? I know what it's like to be judged. I had 3 and decided we wanted a 4th. Many people didn't like it. Many people thought we were wrong to want one more. We just didn't feel our family was complete. I still get the rude comments. She's now 4 and a blessing.A little ray of sunshine in everyone's life.

I think no matter what you do in life, some one will judge you for it. For fertility treatments, adoptions, no kids, for what schools you chose, to the car you drive, you decision to work, or stay home. Unless you are harming someone, what business is it of any one's other than your own family.

You can't live your life for everyone else. No matter how much they push themselves. Live your life in the best way you can!

I'm an aunty to 1 filipino, 3 mexicans, "honorary" aunty/mama to 2 native, and one carribean(same sex couple friends and dubbed me mama..lol). They are all children of my heart. And my one "biological" nephew was conceived with fertility treatments. They are ALL MINE! I'm aunty to them ALL!

**sixfreds** · 02-25-2008, 04:04 PM

I do love the "are they natural" question I always say "no they were c-section".
I know that isn't what they meant when they asked but that is what I am willing to answer :~)

Eileen