fertility Treatment

**sixfreds** · 02-23-2008, 07:04 AM

After the Jon and Kate thread i thought I would start one.

What are your views on infertility?

I think if you have trouble getting pregnant and want a baby then do fertility treatmanets.
I am not ashamed to say I did seek treatment and I am one of the lucky ones that fertility treatments did work for me, I had a child and then couldn't get pregnant again after 3 years of treatments on my last IUI try I got pregnant with triplets... Carried to 30 weeks, now they are 9 years old.

When they were youger (you can't tell they are triplets nwo they just seem like 3 kids) but when you have 3 babies everyone asks the question, did you use fertility treatments? My answer is yes. Then you get the all kinds of opinions. "Well you got what you deserved!" some angry lady said that to me once and I smiled and said "yes I did!!!"
For the record we did it alone, no family help, no nurses, no financial help (no wic or food stamps) all on our own.

For some reason if you have multiples or if someone finds out you used fertility treatments people think they have the right to tell you how they feel about it.

So now I am asking what are your feelings on fertility treatments.
Eileen

**luv-my-lexi** · 02-23-2008, 07:43 AM

Hi Eileen....triplets wow I can't imagine having multiples but I could have easily since on any kind of fertility treatment there is that chance.

My husband and I had been told we would never have children because he had no viable sperm due to a varicocele (sp??). They said that usually to do the surgery you have to have a higher count than he had. I also had irregularity issues so if he could get "fixed" (is that the right word

) I still had a problem. So for about 14 years I went through life feeling "not normal". I wanted a child or children but was too scared to try adoption....what if something went wrong!?! Anyway when we moved to Oklahoma and I went to the gyno here we talked in depth about "if we wanted children". Long story short he said with the technology now that he was pretty sure I could get pregnant. First my husband had the surgery which ended up putting him in the low, but normal range and then I went on Clomid. After a few months I went on something else (shots but don't remember the name) and also went for a hospital visit to "check my tubes" as that had never been done. I was pregnant that next month ~ sooo after 19 years of marriage we finally had our beautiful daughter and she will be 9 next month.

The bottom line is that I don't think anyone could know what a person feels that wants a child but can't have one. It used to be agony as one by one everyone seemed to get pregnant except for us and we had to put on that happy face for them. If we would have had multiples from our fertility treatments than so be it and I guarantee I would have answered that nosy woman then same way when she said you deserved them cause you ABSOLUTELY deserved them! No one can truly understand unless they have been through it.

**momofslg** · 02-23-2008, 08:58 AM

I think that if you aren't able to get pregnant on your own than I think you SHOULD pursue fertility treatments. Always keep in mind that it may not work or it could work too well and you could have a basketball team growing inside you.(LOL)
I do think that as parents you should consider how many children you can handle at one time and what is safe for your body. Given all I said I think that having too many babies at one time is not very fair for all. You, hubby and the babies because it is hard enough to give the love and attention to one new baby let alone 6 at once. But to each his own.

I have seen many sets of multiples (3+) and I NEVER would make rude comments. I always just say how nice it must be to have such a large family and that I commend you on still having your sanity.

**annymoll** · 02-23-2008, 09:13 AM

I think if infertile couples choose to have treatment, fine.If they can afford to take care of the children -great. They should be free to have as many as they want, or do not want. Although I do not agree with selective abortion, that is available to couples. Some consider it an "option" of treatment and expect to get what they pay for. They will decide.I do not hold it against them, it is a personal matter.Multiples are a chance with any pregnancy. I think it is very rude to ask parents of multiples if they have had the treatment.

**dianne9106** · 02-23-2008, 10:12 AM

I agree with all forms of treatment. Last year while living in the UK I donated 10 eggs to Bourne Hall in Cambridge, England. I had to undergo the fertility drugs to help my eggs mature. I didn't find it emotional or really painful - until they collected my eggs but I didn't opt to get put out, only pain meds. Before I was able to donate, I had to finish breastfeeding my own child at 13 months, then go through blood test, counseling and scans before I could start the injections at just the right time. Then I had to go back and forth getting my blood tested. In the UK you can only donate your eggs - not sell them. Which was fine, they only paid me for my expenses to come in for the test - that was a set amount.
I had to fill out some paper work about me and my life. In there I put a message to the potential parents stating I never wanted to them to tell their child(ren) that they were a donated egg - that egg become the mothers as far as I am concerned. I know one day that child could seek me out after they turn 18 - slim chance they will find me - we are in the military. I don't worry and I would do it all over again!
This was one of the most beautiful experiences in my life - I helped two other women hopefully fulfill their dreams of becoming a mother! Right now we are trying for our own child again, so fingers crossed for us! I am going on 37, I had to donate before I turned 36, so hopefully I have not waited too long for another child for us! I am truly at a point in my life where I would be overjoyed to fill every seat in our van!

**carlitasway** · 02-23-2008, 12:47 PM

If I couldn't have children naturally our plan was going to be adoption. I didn't want to put my body through fertility treatment. This is my personal choice, though. I'm not saying it's wrong so no yelling.

**guest002** · 02-23-2008, 02:27 PM

I'm pro-fertiltiy treatments. I TTC for 6 years and had every ART (assisted reproductive therapy) treatment known. 2 IVFs later I have my children.

High order multiples are rare. That is mainly a side effect of an IUI that maybe should have been cancelled. IVF is much more controlled. Many people have the misconception that IVF is high order multiples, and typically it isn't. Most don't go the "safer" route that IVF is over IUI because IVF cost so much more.

**IntlMom** · 02-23-2008, 02:50 PM

Really, this is such a personal decision, the infertile couple is really the only one that should get a say-so in the matter. I went thru 6 years of tests, surgeries, and treatments. I've done it all, really - ALL OF IT! I have gone all the way to 4 failed IVFs. I;ve had my husband give me IM shots in my butt, I have given myself shots in my leg, really, I have done it ALL!! Kudos to Diane for going thru the donation process!! Yes, the harvesting part is really painful. Not to mention walking around with 21 eggs ready to make your ovaries explode so they put you on bedrest......yea, that happened to me. ANYWAY, I say each couple needs to decide, and HOW DARE ANYONE get in my face and tell me what I should or shouldn't do! When I was getting ready to go thru 4th IVF, I had someone tell me basically that I was wrong for trying, and that I should just "take a hint". I lost it!! I asked her how many "puppies that she had squeezed out"? (She had 6) I told her I didn't tell her how to make decisions about her children, so how dare she make decisons about mine......(ok, my blood is beginning to boil, I need to stop!)
No question, we had some tough ethical decisions to make all along the way, but every one has to make the choices that feel right for them. BUT ONLY THE COUPLE GETS TO MAKE THEM!!
Me? I never got preg. ~ but I have 3 kids.....GOD IS GREAT!!!

**Cricket1** · 02-23-2008, 07:02 PM

[QUOTE=momofslg;856214]I think that if you aren't able to get pregnant on your own than I think you SHOULD pursue fertility treatments.

Hmmm...I'm wondering why you think one SHOULD persue fertility treatments? DH and I always said that if we didn't get pregnant after so many years, we would just automatically adopt. That's exactly what we did. I'm not sorry for it at all--I think everyone SHOULD do whatever is right for them.

**Jskell911** · 02-23-2008, 08:32 PM

I believe it is a personal choice as well. I was told I would never have children due to many internal issues. I did get pregnant, but had considered adoption as MY alternative. Nothing wrong with fertility treatments as far as I can see, it just wasn't an option I would have chosen to pursue.

**Cricket1** · 02-23-2008, 08:50 PM

I just read my reply and it sounded snotty. Sorry. All I meant to say that the only thing one SHOULD do is whatever is best for them and that shouldn't just automatically be fertility treatments.

**FrugalWitch** · 02-23-2008, 11:47 PM

I'm infertile. I never took fertility treatments. I'll be the one to gather the wrath of all by admitting I don't personally approve of it. You asked, I'm saying. I am, however very much in favor of adoption and being a foster-parent.

**forHISglory** · 02-23-2008, 11:59 PM

It's personal. And I am thankful that medical science can give options. We couldn't have kids, and tried various methods. We then adopted. I had always wanted a house full of children; we only had one, for whom we are so thankful. But I never could fathom what gave some people the right to inquire and advise about something so personal. Some one once did ask us why we adopted instead of having our "own" child. I sweetly replied that we held hands all night long and nothing happened, so we adopted!!!

**seadream** · 02-24-2008, 07:22 AM

I feel it is the couple's right to decide to go through the treatments if they choose to. I went through 2 years of all the tests and treatments but I never got pregnant and we are currently waiting to adopt a baby boy. But I would go through it all again if it would give me the experience of being pregnant.
if the couple has given it lots of thought and can afford to do the treatments then no-one has the right to decide for them.

**annymoll** · 02-24-2008, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by forHISglory

But I never could fathom what gave some people the right to inquire and advise about something so personal. Some one once did ask us why we adopted instead of having our "own" child. I sweetly replied that we held hands all night long and nothing happened, so we adopted!!!

That is too funny! Fertility treatments of every sort are so in vogue in our circle, and I have to listen over and over to every detail of the treatment, exactly how it is done, every messy detail, every side effect, and the cost.I dislike all their personal details.I had enough the day one friend glided in and stated,"I'm pregnant, I had fertility treatments!" No one even knew she had been trying!I just stated that all my kids were conceived doggy style and it only cost my DH a night of dinner and dancing.Total Silence! At last!!!!!!!!